Shidduchim between FFB and BT’s

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  • #1725956

    CTL, would you have considered adopting a black girl? If not, why? And if so why didn’t you?

    #1725959

    bsharg2
    Participant

    If the boys just married earlier, there wouldnt be a shidduch crisis with all these single girls in the first place

    #1725927

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @joseph
    Don’t quote form the OED, you and I both live in the USA, not Britain.
    The use of the word changed ion the 20th century and we are not 1/5th of the way through the 21st century, get with the program

    #1725993

    I think we would much quicker accept a BT shidduch that is of a white race, than a FFB shidduch from a black race. We worry what people would say. Appearances. Superficial. And the little racist inside all of us.

    #1725998

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Speak for yourself.

    #1726132

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @Rebbetzin
    Domestic adoption was not a viable option at the time. CT Dept if Social Services directives at the time called for:
    #1 placement of children in same race families if possible
    #2 no placement in families that already had 2 or more children
    #3 placement in same religion families if possible
    #4 no placement in families where both parents were older than 40

    Thus it was not an option. We had fostered a black female from birth and attempted the adoption and she was removed by DCF when a black family wanted her

    So we went the international route

    #1726135

    laskern
    Participant

    I adopted a baby from Columbia having a dark complexion. Being different, he was bullied. When we complained, the principal in the yeshiva said, he should have a thick skin. He got married and finishes mishnayos for his mother’s yahr zeit.

    #1726177

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    I don’t even use the word oriental; I will just always pick an argument with the PC police.

    Don’t be fooled into believing this “pet peeve” stuff. They all say that. Really, liberals like CTL love it when someone says words like that because it gives them the opportunity to “correct” them. They get weird joy from it. It’s like a game to them.

    And, Rebbitzin, obviously he’s more likely to adopt an oriental than a colored girl. Orientals put a lot of females up for adoption due to the child-limitations.

    #1726296

    adar29
    Participant

    I didn’t know so many Jews nowadays are so much better than Yehoshua ben Nun who was Moshe Rabeinu best student and successor. If he married the ex zona and geyoret Tzadika Rahab and had the zechut to have many kohanim gedolim among their decendants these people wouldn’t marry even Moshe Rabeinu himself or his sister Miriam.

    #1726314

    Yabia Omer
    Participant

    My wife and I are from the EXACT same “ethnic” background and even then there are differences! Go for Middot and comparability. Not artificial boundaries like “BT”, “FFB”, “Litvish” etc. etc.

    #1726345

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @Neville
    Are you living in the 1950s or Apartheid era South Africa?
    Colored? That term went out of common speech decades ago.
    It wasn’t ‘Orientals’ giving up girls for adoption, it was the Chinese. Only China had the official one child policy.

    We only went that route after domestic adoption route failed. We still terribly miss the infant Black female we fostered from 4 days old until 16 months when she was taken from us and given to. Black family for adoption.

    So many of your assumptions are wrong.

    #1727594

    MrSarahLevine613
    Participant

    “Most BT’s descend from families who immigrated before the war, and most FFB’s descend from those who immigrated after the war. The effects of the war on those families last until today. ”

    Is that true? I assume there is no data. Is it true that most people who are from religious homes were from “survivors”? It may be true if you count Chasidim. I wonder if its true in the modern orthodox world. Not sure. Interesting.

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