Shidduchim for older BT
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- This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 12 months ago by bmyer.
June 7, 2017 1:53 am at 1:53 am #1291054fg3433Participant
For an older Baal Teshuva male (late 20’s) that works, that is more geared towards a yeshivish disposition than modern (but still doesn’t want to learn all day etc.), what are some recommendations as far as places to seek a shidduch (mostly just Brooklyn or Jerusalem)? They are extremely advanced in their learning but doesn’t have a fixed place to learn/community, what would be some places that might be good?
thanks!June 7, 2017 2:34 pm at 2:34 pm #1291479bmyerParticipant
I think the second question might answer the first..if you find somewhere to learn, live and establish yourself it will be a lot easier to find a shidduch…I don’t know where you live or what you do but usually the more frum jews that live somewhere indicates that there’s more options…
Are you looking for a program/ yeshiva to learn in half day or at night or a shiur/ shul…?June 7, 2017 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #1291727🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
Not sure if you are looking for a community or a shadchan or both but oorahs rebbetzins program might be something to look into…June 7, 2017 11:31 pm at 11:31 pm #1291729☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲Participant
It’s not him him/herself (“they”).June 8, 2017 3:55 am at 3:55 am #1291805hujuParticipant
There is a story about a chassid who walks into a bar with a parrot on his hat, and the bar tender asks, where did you get that, and the parrot says, Brooklyn, they’re all over the place. Maybe the BT’s should hang out at that bar.June 8, 2017 8:56 am at 8:56 am #1291820fg3433Participant
@huju sorry that’s way over my head, are you recommending Brooklyn over Jersualem for Shidduchim (ashkenazim)? thanksJune 8, 2017 10:33 am at 10:33 am #1291982GadolhadorahParticipant
My only comment would be that the person you describe would appear to be the ideal catch for a baas torah. First of all, the term “older” is bizarre since someone in their late 20s has the maturity for keddushin that is sadly lacking in so many younger bochurim. Second, the opportunity to share you life with someone who values the balance between learning and having a parnassah to support a family is also “golden”. How wonderful it is for a young man to feel an obligation to support his family rather than rely on handouts from others while at the same time feeling a dedication to a life of limud torah. I hope you will have much hatzlachah and any girl you ultimately marry will be very fortunate.June 8, 2017 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #1292145bmyerParticipant
” someone in their late 20s has the maturity for keddushin that is sadly lacking in so many younger bochurim.”
gd: How could you possibly know that? (there are mature young people and immature old people…)
“rather than rely on handouts from others”
Who said that’s the reason he’s not learning?? He just said he doesn’t want to learn all day why are you pushing agendas and putting words in his mouth that he clearly didn’t say??!?
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