Shidduchim – Pictures?

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    I am only penning down my thoughts after having the same situation basically repeat itself three times. We had heard the girl might be a little overweight ot we had the feeling she had a face you could just slap (i mean a not pretty one) so i had my mother ask for a picture. “chas veshalaom we’re very yeshivish we don’t do that” well now I realize you don’t do that because if you did your daughter would barely date. This is a two fold prolomation..

    1. If there is a obvious flaw in a girls apearance and the other side based on such suspicions asks for a picture, you must show a picture you just causing wasted money and bittul torah by hiding your daughter till the last possible moment. This must end!!

    2. a peice of advice to mothers looking for their sons…if you pick up the girl might be very unattractive for instance when you ask friends how she looks all they say is “well shes not the prettiest girl in the world” or they say “she dresses really really really tznius” and they avoid answering the question your probably wasting your time im talking from experience….

    I know some posters on here will get upset at me but please before you reply re-read what i wrote and the circumstances i depict and then if you find a place to criticize i’d like to hear…if any else had similar experiences please share them here so we can try to change a unneeded taboo and save time and money and hearthache when the girl gets dropped after 7 minutes…



    Pictures are the antithesis of tznius. I would be very wary of anyone who sends out pictures of girls. I, for one, certainly would think twice before dealing with anyone in shidduchim if they trade or send pictures.

    Additionally, anyone insisting on pictures obviously has a large focus on gashmius, which is another thing one should avoid in shidduchim.

    These people have their priorities backwards.



    Every young guy thinks he’s a border-line Cary Grant.


    and every young girl thinks her looks are full of flaws.

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