Shidduchim: What is worse?

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    If someone is in shidduchim and he/she is at the stage where they are faced with a choice: They have the opportunity to marry someone who, if they go ahead with said shidduch, there is an above average possibility (not likelihood) of divorce; alternatively, if they decline the shidduch there’s a good chance they’ll never have an opportunity to get married, or at least not as good a shidduch.

    What is the better choice?

    ☕️coffee addict

    What does “not as good a shidduch” mean vis a vis divorce?



    [1] Every man should require a legally-binding pre-nuptial contract,
    that protects his assets from Divorce Court. It may be necessary
    to have 2 or 3 pre-nuptial contract signed, because the wife can
    always claims that she was coerced into signing the contact.

    If the woman will not sign a legally-binding pre-nuptial contract,
    then DO NOT MARRY HER, regardless of who she is. Just don’t!

    [2] DO NOT SIGN any documents that legally recognize you
    as the father of ANY child, until AFTER you get a DNA test
    that proves that the child that your wife gave birth to
    is actually your biological child.

    Women are very clever: When they cheat on their husbands,
    they choose a man who LOOKS LIKE like their husband,
    so if a baby is born as a result of her cheating,
    the child will look like her husband, and nobody will suspect.

    Therefore, you must get a DNA test to prove that your child
    is really your child, even if the child looks like you.

    [3] DO NOT TELL your wife that you are DNA testing your children!

    And get the DNA test results sent to your work address,
    or relative’s home address, not your home address,
    where your wife may open your mail
    and steal the results of the DNA test.

    As I write these words, I know that people will attack me
    and ridicule me for saying these valuable truths.

    But I do not care, because I know for sure that
    THE TRUTH is on my side, and I am doing G*D’s work,
    by revealing these valuable truths. I just do not care
    how many ignorant and confused people disagree with me.

    Sam Klein

    Then halachically they should go forward with the marriage even though there’s a chance for divorce, due to the fact of the chiyuv of the mitzvah of Peru urivu,, the mitzvah of having children and there’s a possibility that the mitzvah will be completed before they Chas Vshalom start heading towards divorce and will at least leave them with having accomplished the responsibility of having children which is a mitzvah min Hatorah


    It sounds like you’re asking if it’s better to get married and then divorced, or not to get married at all. The scenario you present is not really possible, so the question must remain in the hypothetical


    I’m sorry you’re in such a situation, but I believe you should discuss this with daas torah rather than the yeshiva world coffee room.


    Doesnt everyone have an above average possibility of a divorce? But if you focus on trying to make it work and not on numbers than you’ll make it work.


    Square root: as a caring fellow Jew, for the good of all those around you, please get help from a competent therapist.

    All the best.



    Of course you’ll go ahead with the marriage and refuse divorce when she demands it. That’s worked so far with all of your other wives, hasn’t it?


    CA: If he declines the marriage opportunity with the current shidduch available, in the future he might have no more opportunities to get married — or if he even does get a future opportunity it might be with less desirable person (who might have an even higher risk of divorce than the one he declined).


    This sounds more theoretical than practical.



    I’m not going to address your points (despite the fact that I think that it reveals quite a bit about you, personally) except to say that they have absolutely nothing to do with the question posed by the OP.

    The Wolf


    Sir, when you have a 50% chance of divorce for _a_ wife, your chance to keep at least one out of your three wives is staggering 87.5%!

    This presumes independent interaction with each of them. But if you are not able to afford three houses, then they might all walk out as a group on you.


    It really depends on what the chances of divorce versus remaining single forever are but as someone who never an older single or divorced B’H I say go with the chance of divorce any day . Look at the average fifty year old single and the average fifty year divorcee. The fifty year divorcee. seems to be in a better (general) life situation than the fifty year old single . Hands down. Plus the fifty year old single is always dreaming about what his life would be like if he were married. The fifty year divorcee who went into marriage knowing there was a high chance of divorce has no reason to dream about what would happened had he married someone else



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