In the news, how at weddings shadchonim are invited and shiduchim are created. I think this is a very good idea.
Where/what is this news?
I don’t want to take away the business from the shadchonim. A married couple can create a shidduch. The wife knowing the girl and the husband knowing the boy. I made a shidduch like this with my late wife a’h who passed away more than eight years ago.
This idea appears to be highly questionable at it is impossible to do the proper research on the shidduch being redt if the date is occurring virtually immediately after it is redt.
One of the primary reasons boys and girls don’t meet before carefully considering the shidduch, is because we don’t want them to become infatuated to the point it’ll be difficult or impossible to break it off before background information indicating an hashkafic or other incompatibility becomes known. Parents and the boys and girls cannot rely on the shadchan to find or even know of all incompatibilities. Especially on such a short time frame.
Joseph , did your shadchan know about your infatuation of multiple wives?
Pity we cannot be normal and let people meet under normal circumstances and be normal. Let people be normal. Nope, we clearly can’t do that; ergo, CRISIS.
Take two – lol
But Joseph hits the nail on the head, I think it’s highly inappropriate.
Premarital relations are also considered “normal”
Where is it considered normal? In some places, it’s considered normal to be very offended by a thumbs up.
“Where is it considered normal?”
By gentiles and non-Orthodox Jews.
part of the problem is that we’re forced into a Catch 22 situation.
One one hand we *have* to get married.
on the other hand, we *can’t* do it on our own (boys and girls meet freely on the street)
so we’re at the disposal of the shadchanim
not every husband/wife combo are a good shadchan (you have to know how to present things, how to “bend the truth”, etc. etc.) – so the REAL shadchan does need to take an active role