Shiduchim, Is giving perfect information always the best solution??

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    I would like to relate a story someone told me recently which I found very interesting;

    A man was called for information recently about a boy and his family (lets call him Dov)

    He was asked a series of questions and just went on raving about how awesome the boy is and how exceptional the family was. He stressed how the chinuch was so perfect and that the harmony at home was so serene and just continued with endless praise.

    When the man inquiring the information realized that he was offered this ‘dream shidduch’, he felt obligated to ask his friend the following, ‘ I’ve been listening to you for the past few minutes and it seems that these people have absolutly no faults whatsoever. Nobody is perfect! Surely there must be SOME FLAWS along the way, just tell them to me, we are good friends’

    ‘No’, replied Dov, ‘I cant think of anything negative, eh, actually the father is not always so ‘yashrusdik’.

    Dov turned all colours and realized how he ‘slipped’ the truth and might have ruined a chance for this shidduch to happen. His friend thanked him for his co operation and put down the phone.

    For the next few weeks Dov was very depressed and couldn’t help but feel responsible for blurting out something which he felt could have been avoided.

    A few days later, Dov gets a call from this very friend who inquired the information a few weeks earlier.

    ‘ I get a Mazel Tov , Dov, I made a shidduch with my daughter’, he said

    ‘Mazel Tov’ Dov replied with a sense of relief, ‘who’s the lucky boy?’ he continued,

    ‘THIS BOY I ASKED YOU INFORMATION ABOUT’, he answered ‘and I just want to tell you that second you admitted the truth about the father, you clinched the shidduch. I dont need a ‘tzaddik, fin a tzaddik antloif ich, I aint one either and I feel that people who are super yekkish are not compatible with us, thank you so much’

    Dov was in complete shock yet felt such satisfaction , realizing that the TRUTH, even if not so impressive can open doors!


    A record Bump™ and the first ever shidduch thread.


    Thread topic asks about “perfect information”? Can u know what is perfect info? And know it evertime. If u where God u would be perfect in what u say, as u are not, u can’t be perfect, let alone be perfect every time.

    Now if u ment to ask, should u relate the truth Everytime about someones history, I would think it might depend on the situation and whether the history effects the person’s future or not

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