April 15, 2017 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #1254430
I am trying to make new friends. Is it weird if I make friends with girls from the shiurim that I go to and am friendly with? I never got their number yet. How should I go about it?April 15, 2017 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1254460
Go for it! 😊
Sounds like a great way to make friends.
Give them your number and ask them to text you.
Maybe start with one girl that you get along with best and who seems open to connecting.
You can also sit next to them and talk about the shiur and ask questions.
Be yourself. 💖
You can do it! ☺April 16, 2017 12:14 am at 12:14 am #1254471
lightbrite, I get along well with all of them. I can see them being very happy to be my friend. There usually the ones who start talking to me. But why should I tell them I am giving them my number?April 16, 2017 6:28 am at 6:28 am #1254476
Give one a genuine compliment and you can maybe say something like….
…”Hey I am making new friends and wanted to give you my number just in case you [want to hang out/ ever need a ride/ miss a class and want the notes/ want to go shopping together].”
What if she asks: Why are you making new friends? Are you new? What happened to your old friends?
You can say, “I’m growing and realized that it would be good to branch out and find friends that are committed to Yiddishkeit and like going to shiurim in the area.” — or something that feels more natural for you to say.April 16, 2017 1:40 pm at 1:40 pm #1254586
lightbrite, how does this sound “do you wanna go get coffee”?April 18, 2017 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #1254760
Perfect 🙂April 18, 2017 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #1254761
Rebshidduch, May you make friends and be fulfilled and find peace and your beshert and gain clarity and happiness and all that you pray for that I have not mentioned please insert here and all that you have yet to pray for that is revealed good may Hashem bless you generously to be a receptive vessel, a beautiful blessed kli of holiness, and may your efforts and histadlus be blessed and may you grow in confidence and soul and keep finding yourself closer and warmer into and with with Hashem always! <3April 18, 2017 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1254794assurnetParticipant
If they seem friendly and start conversations with you, yet you need advice how to ask for their number to be their friend I think you may need to work on your self confidence. I totally don’t mean that to be insulting – just giving honest advice.
Despite the OP having the name reb I’m assuming they are a girl. If you are a guy why are you looking to be “friends” with frum girls? If you are interested to date them either tell them so and ask them if you can take them out on date or if you want to use an intermediary give them the person’s number and say you would like to date them but want to go through somebody and if they are interested they can call that person.
If you aren’t looking for a date then again, why would you just want to hang out with frum girls? That could lead to a range of innapropriate situations.
If you are indeed a girl and looking for new friends just be straight up and say, “We should hang out/get together sometime – what’s your number?” You’ll find that often in life being up front and honest is the best way to communicate with people. Nothing to be embarrassed about by wanting to be their friend – it’s a compliment to them.April 18, 2017 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1254797
“lightbrite, how does this sound “do you wanna go get coffee”?”
Rebshidduch – I can’t see LB’s response yet, but it sounds great to me! I’m sure LB agrees. I think that is the best way to do it. (Ice cream could work too 🙂 )
Personally, I think that sounds better than giving your number to someone and asking her to text you. If someone did that to me, I’d think it was weird, and I might feel a bit threatened by it.April 18, 2017 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1254798
Much as I respect LB, I’m not sure I agree with her second suggestion either (post #125 4476). I really don’t think that’s a good idea.
I do agree with the first part though – giving compliments. I think that giving compliments is a great idea! Just make sure that you give a compliment that you really mean, so it doesn’t sound fake.April 18, 2017 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #1254872
Thanks for the feedback LU 🙂
Yea I guess that it’s not something that she needs to clarify or communicate literally to another person. Maybe that would be awkward and feel forced.
Okay scratch that part then and just do your thing, pay attention and give a compliment and go from there.
Coffee or ice cream is great !! 🙂April 19, 2017 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1254921
lightbrite, amen.April 19, 2017 12:36 am at 12:36 am #1254923
assurnet, it may be a thing with my confidence. I am looking for new friends of the same gender.April 19, 2017 12:37 am at 12:37 am #1254933
LB -hope you weren’t offended. I wouldn’t have said anything, but I was concerned that Rebshidduch might follow your advice, and I was concerned about the outcome.
In any case, the complimenting is a great idea!April 19, 2017 8:48 am at 8:48 am #1255038
Lilmod, I know. I have been doing that for years. (complimenting people)April 19, 2017 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #1256142
Rebshidduch – that’s great! 🙂 It’s probably one of the biggest Mitzvos a person can do!
And it’s actually very easy.April 19, 2017 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #1257799
Lilmod, yes it sure is.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.