Should Gila accept a divorce?
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- This topic has 36 replies, 23 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 2 months ago by Shrek.
February 20, 2011 3:07 am at 3:07 am #595147
In the Mishpacha serial “Charades” Gila is torn between cutting clean or going back, what do you think she should do?February 20, 2011 3:23 am at 3:23 am #749944TumsMember
Divorce is a dirty word. This serial sounds treif.February 20, 2011 3:28 am at 3:28 am #749945chayav inish livisumayParticipant
well its not 4 letters long so it cant be a dirty wordFebruary 20, 2011 3:31 am at 3:31 am #749946TheGoqParticipant
tums don’t be a serial killerFebruary 20, 2011 3:41 am at 3:41 am #749947morning19Participant
Divorce does not cure eveything. They will be better off getting help as a family- including the kids.February 20, 2011 3:43 am at 3:43 am #749948
Can we get back on topic please?February 20, 2011 3:46 am at 3:46 am #749949shlishiMember
she cant accept or demand a divorce unless he wants to give one.February 20, 2011 4:07 am at 4:07 am #749950
He sent her a massege with the rav saying he is willing to give one.February 20, 2011 4:28 am at 4:28 am #749951☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
It’s fiction. Whether “she chooses to accept it or not” is up to the imagination of Riva Pomerantz.
Spoil sport.February 20, 2011 4:47 am at 4:47 am #749952jewish2Member
No she should NOT! Motty is totally a changed person and he finaly realizes that he needs help and that he was wrong how he treated Gila and the kids all these years. Looks like he is gonna make a turn around and they’ll all go the family therapy and will work it out.February 20, 2011 8:29 am at 8:29 am #749953hanibParticipant
of course she’s not going to – wouldn’t be allowed to go through mishpacha if that’s the end. they’ll all work on themselves and then live happily ever after.February 20, 2011 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #749954
the kids are happier without him. she seems to be happier without him too. so i think its better for all if they do get divorced. Or, let them seperate see if he really goes for the help and then they can take it from there. But does an abusive person ever change? hes got a LOT of changing to do! also how can a community ever forgive Mottie for what he did? I really think that if Mottie is truly sorry, then he’s got a lot to prove!
editedMarch 7, 2011 1:24 am at 1:24 am #749956
So will Gila’s MIL get divorced?March 7, 2011 3:24 am at 3:24 am #749957aries2756Participant
So lets forget about fantasy, in reality if this happened to you or someone you knew what would you do or advise Gila to do.March 7, 2011 4:01 am at 4:01 am #749958
how can a man just run off like that??? not only that hes abusive! i would tell Gila, that she should really weigh her pros and cons. the pros of her staying married is the kids and money. but the cons…1.he ran away. 2. hes abusive. 3.hes not a mentally stable person. 4.kids are scared of him. 5.wife is scared of him. 6.she is doing better without him. there that settles it!March 7, 2011 4:36 am at 4:36 am #749959🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
yes abusers can change but not easily. when abuse is involved I tell them to run the other way. (I check with counselors first to confirm that it’s the right advice at the time.)March 7, 2011 4:42 am at 4:42 am #749960GrandmasterMember
How can a frum magazine glorify divorce as just another happenstance even in fantasy, let alone in reality.March 7, 2011 8:15 am at 8:15 am #749961hanibParticipant
grandmater – i’m sure it’s not going toMarch 7, 2011 9:56 am at 9:56 am #749962guy-ochoMember
TUMS is a four letter word.March 7, 2011 12:01 pm at 12:01 pm #749963morah reynaMember
Ask p’sak from a Rav!March 7, 2011 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #749964
Gila should take the offered GET as quickly as she can. It would make for a more interesting ending as opposed to “happily ever after”.March 7, 2011 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #749965GrandmasterMember
Happily ever after may not be as interesting, but is certainly a better option than unhappily ever after, as your suggested ending generally leads to.March 7, 2011 10:39 pm at 10:39 pm #749966oomisParticipant
I haven’t followed this story (don’t always get Mishpacha), but there is no happily ever after with most abusive men. She should get her divorce and then see if he gets his act together with the help of extensive therapy and counseling. If he can prove to her that he truly has changed, they can remarry, if he is not a Kohein, and if she did not remarry in the interim. (Yes, I KNOW it’s just a story). Most leopards never change their spots. I doubt that Mishpacha is trying to glorify divorce. But even Hashem lets us know that a divorce may sometimes be necessary. We are not Catholics.March 7, 2011 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #749967cucumberMember
no but is still better not to just divorce unless its really necessaryMarch 8, 2011 12:03 am at 12:03 am #749968
Riva Pomerantz happens to be one of many of my favorite authors. this is the first time I am not liking her material. But since I started the serial I cant not finish it.March 8, 2011 12:25 am at 12:25 am #749969oh_yeahMember
i most definetely think she should divorce! The kids r terrified of motty and so is gila! And like her mil said – abusive ppl dont change – proof that she herself wants to get out!!!March 8, 2011 8:47 am at 8:47 am #749970tzvideerMember
i didnt read the story and i dont know the details but i will answer blind!
when i was getting divorced someone told me, “you couldnt have been worse than my husband, i put him in prison for what he did to me!!! today we have a great marriage” she was with her husband when she said this to me.
Divorce is NEVER a solution, it is switching one (or more) problem for many others, especially when children are involved.
if there is a realistic chance for them to get back together, if he is willing to go for help, therapy, whatever, if there is a possibilty that things will get better, then my advice is to get back together.
divorce wont run away, Beis Din aint going out of business any time soon, there is always time tomorrow to get divorced why run into it.
dont rush into divorce, definitly dont listen to those who tell you to get divorced, either they dont know what it means or they are looking for “sisters/brothers in sorrow”March 8, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #749971
“Ask p’sak from a Rav!”
When its for real you ask a rav, when its fiction you ask the CR members.March 8, 2011 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #749972mytakeMember
Hey, I’m not following the story. Anyone willing to brief me? Please?March 8, 2011 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #749973
Gila and the kids were happier without him. why should she take him back?March 8, 2011 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm #749974ZeesKiteParticipant
Is this a fiction fantasy or for real? I HATE emotional fiction, they pull my heart – for no reason.March 9, 2011 1:49 am at 1:49 am #749975
It’s fiction.March 14, 2011 1:16 am at 1:16 am #749976
So now that Gila has hit the bottom, whats next?March 15, 2011 1:25 am at 1:25 am #749977
Gila decides to give her husband a second chance, he turns into the nicest, sweetest guy, the community forgives him for his kashrus indiscretions, and Gila even loses 50 pounds since she is so happy with her life that she doesn’t need to overeat. The children grow up to be gedolim and roshei yeshiva and rebbetzins.
This is the ending I predict.
Anyone out there disagree?March 15, 2011 3:52 am at 3:52 am #749978
Yes, its a happy ending but kills the story.March 15, 2011 8:53 am at 8:53 am #749979PosterMember
Shrek, that is funny. I like the part with the losing 50 pounds!!
How about Tirtsa? She becomes world’s most popular party planner and rakes it in!March 15, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #749980
Tirtsa decides to become a Bais Yaakov teacher because party planning is too “gashmius-dik” for her.
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