Should I buy my chavrusa a fancy cheescake for shavuos?
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- This topic has 17 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 10 months ago by Always_Ask_Questions.
May 10, 2021 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #1972737dag1Participant
Or will it make him feel indebted to me? He’s a bigger talmud chachom then me and he still learns with me so I feel like I owe him.May 10, 2021 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #1972761ParticipantParticipant
why not stick with a copy of your sefer and give me the cheesecake.May 11, 2021 10:08 am at 10:08 am #1972990GadolhadorahParticipant
What is a “fancy” cheesecake?? Is it made from cream cheese derived from a special cholov yisroel from cows who are known for being machmir on every inyan of kashrus?May 11, 2021 11:02 am at 11:02 am #1973021
Does the fancy cheesecake come with a poster?
@GH the cheese comes from the cows that belch less to minimze climate changeMay 11, 2021 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #1973126yuda the maccabiParticipant
if you feel hakoras hatoiv i think you should buy him something nice
in my opinion a cake is not something that will make someone feel indebted to you
but it will show him that you appreciate him and what he does for youMay 11, 2021 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #1973196☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
You can buy me the cheesecake, I won’t feel indebted to you.May 11, 2021 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #1973230meir GParticipant
how is your chavrusa financially , if he learns with you and could use the money- than do something that means something ( if you are in the position maybe 1800 for yom tov )
dont worry about his indebtedness to you – unfortunately 1800 will barely get one kid into camp for HALF A SUMMER!May 11, 2021 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1973232DovidBTParticipant
Making the cheesecake yourself would imbue it with more meaning.May 11, 2021 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #1973262
meirG, koneh leha haver, indeed!
please help a poor Talmid Haham to send a way just one kid for half a summer has a ring to it …
mier can be right and your friend will really appreciate a financial gift. It may though change a relationship to a more financial one … I find I have better relationship with Talmidei Chachamim who had time for my questions when I was dirt poor with no financial payoff in mind.May 12, 2021 11:22 am at 11:22 am #1973415meir GParticipant
imagine calling a big lawyer lewin, brafman, dershowitz and saying a i have a legal question for you , what would be his answer?
yet you can call or go over to any big posek and ask your halacha shaaloh for free bekovod ubesever panim.. with no fee
always ask.. give the check anonymously to his wife & it wont change your relationship , figure what yom tov cost you and match it ( if u can)May 12, 2021 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #1973834Reb EliezerParticipant
What is wrong with hakoras hatov for him learning together with you? Dibbuk chaverim increases your Torah knowledge.May 12, 2021 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #1973858
@rebE, spoken like a true fiftysixer, ó milyen édes egy csók a kezébenMay 12, 2021 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #1973911Reb EliezerParticipant
common saychel, are you Hungarian? I never heard this expression. He might feel as a rebbi, mitalmidai yoser mikulom, you gain from students more than the teachers. also beholden.May 12, 2021 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1973928
meirG > imagine calling a big lawyer
rebE> What is wrong with hakoras hatov
rebE – attitude described here.
Meir, his law degree is his, and Torah is Hashem’s and you are l’hathila not supposed to charge for it. I know there are ways, but I am thinking of your attitude where you assume as a most desirable thing to pay your hevrusa, and (jokingly?) dismissing the amount that it will “only” pay to send only one kid for only one month.
I know I sound like a spoiler of cheesecakes, but I am simply trying to align our actions with our values, as sometimes we get used to doing something that may not be the best without AAQ.
I like Meir’s suggestion to slip it anonymously. DISAPPOINTING and DANGEROUS for you – to suggest through the wife. So, if we agree that there is a little lack of kavod to pay to Talmid Haham, kavod of his wife is the same as of him. So, let’s protect his feelings, but his wife’s – not? As we know, women’s prayers are answered immediately… but slipping it in is a good idea – paying more than usual when attending simchos, or paying and not attending, adding when schools collect for specific teachers (is it a thing in your area?).May 12, 2021 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1973930
traditional ways to support Talmid Haham:
– buy from him, instead of other merchants. I do that sometimes. YD 234:4 תלמיד חכם שיש לו סחורה למכור
– do business with him. Rambam De’ot 6:2. This is harder, you need to be confident that your business is honest and successful.May 12, 2021 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1973934
Reb E im 100% Galitz, I married a 100% hung, this expression is very commonMay 14, 2021 11:09 am at 11:09 am #1974445efshar azoiParticipant
cheese = my chavrusa in at bash gematria!!May 20, 2021 1:39 am at 1:39 am #1975409
we need an update on what happened with the chevrusa and the cheesecake!!
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