Should the coffee room be split into two?

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    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    chumros that don’t have any basis in halachah or yiddeshkeit

    Please name some which are widely practiced, since you claim that the superfrum/chassidish/twisted/abnormal/unhappy people practice them.



    Ok i am not acting out the behavior that i profess to despise. I am not trying here to bring anyone over to my side by making this topic. The discussion here led to that, for reasons not under my control. Someone cast doubts about my view, so i was compelled to demonstrate that it actually has very solid ground even among leading frum Rabbonim today.

    However i don’t normally make topics saying things like “You must watch movies or you are an apikoras!” and “You are mechuyav to wear a t shirt when on vacation”.

    That is the type of behavior that i condemn, and i do not engage in it.

    What i meant by with that comment to haleivi, was that some debate is bound to happen with things the way they are, and the debate will not necessarily be pleasant. That is usually the nature of debate, unless both sides make a supreme effort to avoid it.

    Hope that makes everything more clear.


    Anyway, so many people took this the wrong way. I would probably delete it if i were able. Because my goal here was never to offend anybody chv”sh. Oh well, what can you do.

    Shalom everyone, i am pretty much done with this thread, and i apologize to all those who may have been offended along the way! 🙂

    You win some, you lose some. Time to move on.

    One thing i will say, that this website has some the most cordial and nice people from any that i’ve been on. I haven’t been on many (and no “social networking” sites at all), but you can usually judge from just one or two of the goyish websites, what the rest would be like, i think.


    (there is one site that i need for my business, which has a very specific audience, that is a rare exception to this rule though. I have several sevaros why this is. But ain kahn mekomo lehaarich 😉 )


    I think that i will try to find a site or sites that caters more to my needs, and that’s where i will be spending my time online. Too bad this couldn’t work out. But if i have an issue specific to the frum community, I may still use this site for that. We shall see.


    One last comment in this thread. Zeeskite the Torah isn’t a burden. What misguided people add to the Torah is a burden. Haztlachah Rabbah in all your endeavors! I hope i don’t find myself at the same seder as you, or my beautiful teeth may be in danger! Though i’m sure the dentist won’t mind 😛

    Anyway, good luck, and all the best!


    I think this one is working well and if people can discuss things in a respectful way, its fine. Once the part about keeping it civil goes out the window, the argument (and the person behind it) loses a whole lot.


    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Someone cast doubts about my view, so i was compelled to demonstrate that it actually has very solid ground even among leading frum Rabbonim today.

    All you said was that a big Rosh Yeshva said to be normal, but we disagree as to what normal is!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Because my goal here was never to offend anybody chv”sh.

    Didn’t seem that way, especially when, in your earlier “apology” for calling superfrum/chassidish twisted, abnormal, and unhappy, you wrote, “but this is how I see you, from my point of view”!

    You’ve also have not demonstrated a single one of the supposed “chumros that don’t have any basis in halachah or yiddeshkeit” yet, probably because you realize that if you tried, one of the more well informed CR members could show you a valid source for it.


    msseeker: If you think it’s only “MO” teens texting on shabbos you really need to get your head out of the sand.


    I thank you for taking my call right before leaving.

    -What misguided people add to the Torah is a burden-

    Would that by any chance be netilas yadayim, muktza, chanuka, hallel etc. which have no refrence in the Torah??

    ??? ?? ??? ????, one can discern a person from what he speaks (writes). One person makes it his business to serve HaShem, he busies himself with Torah & mitzvhos. In order to live he busies himself too with a livelihood. An oved HaShem.

    Then there’s another sort of person. Why do we need this chumra. Be normal. Where is it written explicitly in the Torah? That’s his motto. His life’s goal – less chumros. ??? ????? ?????.

    What if HaShem responds in kind? Hey mister. Did your ancestors enjoy such luxury? Indoor plumbing? Lighting? Transportation? Let’s see if you can survive on the barest.



    50% of MO compared to significantly under 1% amongst Chareidim. It isn’t even remotely comparable.


    “msseeker: If you think it’s only “MO” teens texting on shabbos you really need to get your head out of the sand.”

    The report said it’s “not exclusively MO”. IOW it’s mostly MO, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg in the MO community. According to statistics, “Twenty percent of chilonim [in Israel, I think]

    At this rate it’s a matter of a generation or two until MO goes the way of Conservative and Reform (while the RWMO will flee to the frum). It’s simple. Our rebelious teens mostly become MO. Rebelious MO teens have nothing to become except shkotzim r”l. When MO stop lecturing us frummies and bashmutzing us for our failures instead of addressing your own problems and trying to learn somthing from our tremendous successes, I’ll stop throwing it in your faces.


    “since most twisted, abnormal unhappy,(IOW very frum)”

    I love it. Twisted?, sort of, abnormal? maybe a little –or nicer, just off of normal, unhappy? not me at all, iow very frum? lets just say almost very. Actually, my life path has spanned many isms and ishs and so, I just exude achdus. This is a community, why split it?


    Your Ahavas Hashem seems to cause your hatred of His children. According to the Maharal, a sign that you love someone is when you love those he loves. We all use Sechel, Baruch Hashem. We learn, we Daven, we do Mitzvos, and we take care of our earthly needs, too. We also aren’t arrogant enough to proclaim that whoever doesn’t think our way isn’t happy, isn’t fulfilling his purpose, isn’t thinking, is ruining everyone’s experience here…

    Abe Cohen

    quark: The Mesilas Yeshorim and the Ramchal are the antithesis of everything you are espousing here.


    I think we all owe quark a debt of gratitude for uniting the dissimilar members of the CR. A very appropriate sacrifice for the 9 days


    Quark: There’s something I don’t really understand. Why do you have the urge to get the approval of us frummies? Why do you post your views time and again hoping we will approve of your way of thinking? I, for one don’t need your approval. Which is why I refrained from contradicting you and try to “prove” that my point of view is right. But now, I’m just curious. Why do you care what we think or do? Why are you desperately trying to get us to tell you you’re right?

    BTW, It’s amazing how the abnormal, unhappy, twisted frummies write with such dignity and respect while you seem to enjoy bashing them and calling names.

    And for the record, I wasn’t always one of the “frummies”. And I can tell you it was THEN when I was unhappy, twisted and abnormal.



    It was i who was arrogant to proclaim that you were not happy? Check again.

    It was one of you (shlishi) who first said for no reason that i was not happy, which caused me to respond in turn.

    You all use sechel? So it wasn’t one of you who actually called me a rasha, for saying that I use sechel? Check again.

    (i bear no ill will towards that person btw, because she is obviously very misguided, and does not know any better.)


    observanteen i am not trying to get your approval, and i don’t care for your “approval”. It is your life, do what you will with it.

    I only stated my views exactly once here, never saying the same thing about my views twice.

    Hope that satiates your “curiousity”.


    Although if what i said helps out a fellow jew to see the path of good, that’s great. If it doesn’t “talk” to you, that’s fine. Seek inspiration elsewhere. I really don’t care. This is certainly not my main goal right now.

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    First: one for the people leaning more towards the super – frum/chassidish side, and one for the normal people not leaning that way. …and the normal will not need to be constantly bombarded with demands that they stop eating gefilte fish, or that they walk with their eyes covered in the streets led by a guide dog, and things of that nature.

    Then: As do many of the comments of the chassidish/super frum who are trying to impose their twisted world view onto everyone else. Give it up. You are NOT doing a mitzvah, and you are not doing G-ds will. G-d wants us to lead happy, normal lives. Be normal

    Then: With out going into to much detail here, there are those that chase after chumros, and there are those that are fine with what was passed down to them from their parents, without looking for additional “frumkeit”. And they attempt to integrate a normal healthy lifestyle, with yiddeshkeit.

    Then: Your life is controlled by fear and worry. People who are not in control of their own lives are usually not very happy.

    And yet again: Do you think that hashem wants us to live a crazy not normal life? Do you think that he would punish us all, old and young, who have never done wrong, alike, with such a harsh thing?

    Also, (what the super frum are even doing on the internet g-d knows. Maybe “kiruv” LoL)

    Then: I really don’t understand how all of these people who seem so frum by the opinions that they express, have internet access, that according to them is assur gamur. This mystefies me.

    And then you say:I only stated my views exactly once here, never saying the same thing about my views twice.




    “Because my goal here was never to offend anybody chv”sh. Oh well, what can you do.”

    Well, you could technically not insult people (by calling them twisted, abnormal, etc)… that tends to help not offend people.

    “BTW all of my ideas are not new. They can be found in classic Jewish sources, aside from being common sense.”

    Really? Please name me a source in “classic Jewish” literature that supports calling anybody frummer than you “twisted” or “abnormal”. It’s one thing to go frummie-bashing on your own, but to blame it on the Ramchal is going to new depths.

    Also, I find it ludicrous that you seem to think that because the Ramchal didn’t have a beard and may have gone to University means that he would support your vicious attacks on anything and anyone frummer than you.

    ☕️coffee addict


    care to cite scholarly sources to this claim

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