June 11, 2013 5:18 am at 5:18 am #609606BoredBeisMedreshGuyParticipant
As a beis Medresh guy, I have a lot of friends in/ starting shidduchim. The thing that puzzles me is that in every yeshiva there is always a time (whether an age or a “year”) in which pretty much everyone starts going out. Problem is that all people develop at dif times, some sooner some later. So why is age the deciding factor?June 11, 2013 11:13 am at 11:13 am #958278BYbychoiceMember
Because at a certain age,most guys will have reached the part of maturity when its right to start shidduchim. and if not,then its a good wake up call,that if they want to go out or start and friends say they arent ready they can help him out,to wake him up and smell the coffee.June 11, 2013 9:30 pm at 9:30 pm #958279BoredBeisMedreshGuyParticipant
That’s not the point. There are plenty of ppl I know hu are getting married hu aren’t ready. Maybe that’s why there is a divorce crises going onJune 11, 2013 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #958280writersoulParticipant
BBMG: You’re right, but it doesn’t really matter. In any matchmaking system, the whole system is going to become very sterile and regulated as it’s governed by supply and demand. That’s why any idea to fix an age gap from the girls’ end is doomed to failure- even if they say a girl can’t date til 21, the survival instinct is going to make sure that if a girl is 19 and a shidduch is redt, she’s going to run after it. By the same token, if to a smaller extent, a guy has to start going out at the time with the maximum marketability value, whether it’s kedai for him or not.
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