Siblings’ machatonim on shidduch resumes

Contact with the married siblings machatonim can alert people as to how difficult they found the potential shidduch’s parents to deal with regarding the chassanah etc. I know families who wish they had been warned.

@arihaleviroseman
Research is invasive at its core – the point of research is to gather information about someone else. Do you do ANY research before a first date?

Wow, this is a new level of cluelessness.
Yes, shidduchim isn’t just dating. It is researching that both the children are compatible, and that they come from a home where values that you consider important are taught (yes, sometimes a child will be different from the parents, but information about the parents should raise a red flag). The mechutanim are usually my first phone call when researching. If you don’t think it’s important, then don’t call. But I don’t understand why you are questioning a fundamental, basic, easy to understand concept.

“Why do people have shidduch resumes at all? They certainly didn’t have them in the alter heim.”

Excellent point

I don’t think people necessarily expect you to call the mechutanim. I could just be as a hechsher for the family. Imagine if the mechutanim listed are a very well respected Rosh Yeshiva/ Rebbe/ Askan etc. Wouldn’t you think to yourself “Hey if these people saw fit to marry into this family they can’t be that bad”. It make you realize that you are not the first daring ones.

I do like the idea of shidach resumes even though we did have them in the alter heim. When I was dating we got the same information over the phone and had to write it down Resumes is just a more efficient way of sharing information.
There are a few other things we did not have in the alter heim but I think they are improvements (cars, washing machines, gas ovens etc.)

YO: A resume is who the parents are, what girl/boy are currently doing, information about schooling and references.

YO: it used to be that the shadchan would call and you had to get a pen and your shidduch notebook and write down all the pertinent information. Now it got easier, you write down your own information and just e mail it. All those who prefer to use kerosene lanterns instead of electricity are welcome to do so.