so confused and ugh!!

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  • #599121
    workinonit
    Member

    k putting this out thr ima teenager and socializing is a big deal 2 me..i feel like i have no lifee… i dont live near anyone so im always alone and i feel like every1 is always doing stuff and has places to be. im always sitting at home just like im wastttting my life over here. and because im never busy and not utilizing my time well i end up doing stupid things tht i woudl never be doing if i was busy. im not talking bout during the day cuz i always find ways to stay busy and make plans i rly do.. but at night time i have NOTHING to do and its not like i can go out at night or have friends over rly.. i dont have any siblings at home and its just me and im so sick of being alone and doing nothing i cant take it anymore.

    #1042310
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    It’s because of other women feeling as you do that Ohr Naava and subsidiaries were created.

    Do you live near any of these programs?

    #1042311
    workinonit
    Member

    no uch i wish.. wenever im bored i listen to a shiur online but i cant say im always so inspired sometimes i will choose a movie over a shiur even though i know its wrong and its sooo bad πŸ™ uch i feel like if i had friends to go to tht lived near me i woudlnt be faced with this nisayon every day, but i am and i ahve to deal with it i know that. i just im the type tht needs to be busy eveyr second otherwise i get rly sad that im wasting my life

    #1042312
    aries2756
    Participant

    Do you babysit? Can you join a choir or dance group? Do you swim? Can you tutor? Do you like word games? Can you take up art? Music? Do you play a musical instrument?

    #1042313

    Is there a project you can try to take on? Like writing for instance, or graphics, or drawing, or baking, or reading, or visiting old / hospitals / babysitting. Kudos for listening to shiurim when you do and it’s perfectly normal that you’ll watch movies some of the time too πŸ˜‰

    Remember also you’re too young to say “you’re wasting your life” – you may be wasting time but you’re life??? Not yet!

    Would you want to share where you live? Maybe there’s some other people on here who do to and you can spend time then together ;))))

    #1042314
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    I was actually just going to say that perhaps you can learn an instrument. I see aries beat me to it. It really does help with the kind of situation you are in. I was, and still am, in your situation somewhat and learning and playing an instrument has helped me so much, I don’t know what I would have done without it. And, if that doesn’t look appealing to you, any of aries’ other suggestions are great, too. Princess Eagle’s are terrific as well.

    But definitely try something. From personal experience, it is not healthy for a teenager to not have anything constructive to do. Hope you find something soon!

    #1042315
    toomuch00
    Member

    workinonit- are you me?? no seriously i have been reading your threads and have the same exact issues you have! But i think im 1 step ahead of you in solving them. heres what i did. about your issue with thanking your mom- i had that too. so instead of saying it to her face i will usually leave her a little note for her to see when she wakes up. also ill text her a thank you message for everything she did for me throughout the day.

    next issue about you being bored- im also the only child home and none of my close friends live near me- and im also very bored at night. heres what i do: chat with my married siblings, chat with my friends who dont live near me. read, do schoolwork,talk with my mom. ive recently discovered i like painting so ive been doing that too. these are just a few things but maybe we can get in touch and have each other! good luck and hope you try some of my ideas. =)

    #1042316
    toomuch00
    Member

    also you other issue in your thread “personality”- im also a very reserved person and have that situation exactly also! seriously your my long lost twin!! but im sorry- i dont have any advice on that; im still struggling with it too. =(

    #1042317
    peanut
    Member

    well…i think im the triplet! workinonit , we have all the same problems its scary..omg.i never knew there were other people out there suffering with the same things i do. its so good to know that im not alone! can we three give eachother encouragement and advice and just be there for eachother! i need it!

    #1042318
    workinonit
    Member

    ya we rly should im like going crazy over here…

    #1042319
    peanut
    Member

    you said that you don’t have any friends nearby..what does that mean? no friends in the same town as you or just not in your neighborhood or walking distance?

    #1042320
    workinonit
    Member

    no friends in the same town or walking distance.. like its a 40 min walk, its walkable but walking is not my thing so much πŸ™‚ wat bout you, u ahve any firends nearby?

    #1042321
    peanut
    Member

    oh that must be very hard πŸ™ do you live in the tri state area? like brooklyn, lakewood, monsey areas or you’d rather not say?

    #1042322
    workinonit
    Member

    i live in tht area.. u?

    #1042323
    peanut
    Member

    not telling πŸ˜‰ but mayb πŸ˜‰

    #1042324
    Health
    Participant

    Kids this is called bloging. We write in full sentences. This isn’t txting on yo cell!

    #1042325
    ronrsr
    Member

    Perhaps you should get a dog.

    #1042326
    adorable
    Participant

    get inviolved with chesed organizations. I did some of those things in HS with them…went to hospitals…. they pick you up and drop you off and you can go with friends.

    #1042327
    methinks
    Member

    start driving!

    #1042328
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    lol toomuch, peanut and workinonit- same issues!! .. maybe its just every teenager??

    .. and this is why i end up on cr, and all my friends say i’m addicted to the computer cuz thats wat i do wen i’m bored :(… but now that school’s back i’m actually a little excited for the work (dont tell anyone;) cuz then i always keep busy.. i also like talking on the phone and staying in touch with my friends from other schools, or reading or drawing, or chesed-which is a great idea and makes u feel so good and productive! i also wanted to take piano.. GL!

    #1042329
    toomuch00
    Member

    brotherofurs- These issues are VERY teenager-ish. lol. im also addicted to the computer somewhat and also love schoolwork! (most of the time, that is). and yep, i do some of those things too to keep me sane.

    #1042330
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    I had a discussion about this with my friends the other day. We all agreed that frum teens these days have nothing to do on the spare time, which doesn’t lead to such great things…

    I watch movies often, simply because there is nothing else to do! I’m not the kind of person that enjoys talking to my friends on the phone, I’m not a good enough person to do chessed (visit people at hospitals kind of thing) in my free time, and I don’t have little siblings to take care of. So seriously, what am I supposed to do besides for watch movies?

    Ya know, that’s one of the reasons why I love the cr. It provides kosher entertainment.

    #1042331

    This is so interesting, it’s like me, streetgeek, ourtorah, and taom..!!!

    Letakein: That’s so true, but I thought you americans had tonz of home work?? That’s what all my friends say! They cant breathe!! Also some schools her are like that too, not mine of course..so I get you.

    But we are teenhs, there is what to do, plenty. If you are older there is less. You could learn something, read, do chesed, tutor, babysit, chat with your friends, sleep over by them if they live far away, hang out with your siblings…

    Older singles can’t do all this, most of their friends are married.

    We do have more options.

    #1042332
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Why can’t they pair up the girls who have tons to do with those who are going crazy with boredom?

    #1042333
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Mods: can we make this thread title the title of PAA’s thread about confounding things

    #1042334
    ivory
    Member

    You can do a lot if other chesed besides fir visiting people in hospital. And you can do done hobby which you enjoy and fills up your time. I dont know where you live but you can go to an all woman’s gym, take art classes, swimming, food decorating, some kind of career training. Not sure you want practical advise or just wanna vent.

    #1042335
    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    Popa:

    What thread do I have about confounding things?

    #1042336
    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    Letakein Girl:

    You were mechavein to me

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/why-are-some-people-so-smart/page/3#post-533544 (particularly my last paragraph)

    #1042337
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    Shopping:

    On some days the workload is insane, while on others there’s nuthin to do. For example, this past Sunday I was so bored- had nuthin to do, so I ended up watching movies.

    The other side of the coin- on Monday, I ended school at five thirty, then went to do my mandatory chessed (as assigned by my school.) I got home at seven fifteen. Then I had an essay to write, a really hard test to study for, a few Pesukim to prepare for Chumash class, math homework, four quizzes to study for, and a lab assignment. All of which was assigned that very day! Ok, the test wasn’t, but I don’t wanna spend my Sunday studying for a test in advance- that’s just wrong! πŸ™‚

    As for the things you suggested I do in my spare time… I dunno. None of them sound particularly enticing, to be honest.

    PAA-

    Your theory is so true!

    #1042338
    showjoe
    Participant

    PAA: you think only girls have this problem?

    many many boys also spend a lot of their time watching movies and other bad stuff, even with being in yeshiva all day.

    true, yeshiva leaves less time to do these things, but ppl will still find time to do these things

    #1042339
    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    Showjoe:

    You are talking about a different issue. The only thing I was talking about is the fact that girls have nothing to do. So they might spend their time doing things that they otherwise wouldn’t/shouldn’t be doing. I am not trying to eradicate movies. But it sounds like Letakein Girl doesn’t inherently want to be watching movies all day; she just has nothing else to do. If she had something else to do she would gladly do it. (Correct me if I’m wrong, Letakein Girl.) I was merely suggesting that if were able to learn Gemara. they would always have something to potentially do. Obviously they wouldn’t be learning Gemara all day, but it would alleviate the problem somewhat. Especially considering that since they don’t have a chiyuv to learn, the Yetzer Hara not to learn is much smaller. And learning Gemara can be very satisfying.

    All this has nothing to do with boys. They have their own issues which I wasn’t discussing.

    #1042340

    I’m in high school too an I’m jealous of the amount of free time you have. I always have home work , some sort of project due, or a test to study for.

    #1042341
    bp yidd
    Participant

    @wannabechassidish it’s not so great having free time to little is no good to much is no good everything in balance

    #1042342
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    Wannabechassidish,

    I also always have something due at school. The diff between us is that while you do the schoolwork, i do other stuff, cuz I feel like i wanna have a life outside of school, ya know? And now my issue is that there is nothing to do, thus leading to my feeling like I have no life.

    #1042343
    πŸ‘‘RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s easy to get rid of free time if you have too much.

    #1042344

    @ letakain girl

    i completely get you – i do the same

    i usually end up on the computer- yeshiva world, the cooljew, teenagers post ect.

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