Someone to whom you should consider sending mishloach manos (not kiruv/chesed)

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Viewing 36 posts - 51 through 86 (of 86 total)
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  • #1229573

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    🙂

    #1229574

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    LB – I’m super-impressed! You’re doing a much better job of answering than I could have! Shkoyach!!

    Meno – never underestimate your influence on others! (Most people do and I have a feeling you might in particular).

    #1229575

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, is it okay halachically in order to not make me feel bad to hang out with boys and not make me feel embarrassed that other girls have husbands and I do not?

    #1229576

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    rebshidduch – sorry but your question was not phrased accurately so I don’t understand it. Can you try again?

    Is this what you meant: “Is it okay halachically for me to hang out with boys because it will help me to not feel bad as well as to not feel embarrased about the fact that I am single?”

    #1229577

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, yes.

    #1229578

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Just as assur as it was before. Those facts don’t make it mutar.

    btw, even though you may feel worse in the short run, and maybe even much worse, I think that eventually you will be much happier. Sometimes the very things that are very hard at the moment (and maybe even for several moments) ultimately make us much happier.

    Also, I do think that if not talking to boys makes you so unhappy, you should try to figure out why you feel this way and what you can do to stop feeling this way. Wanting to talk to boys is natural, but you should not feel depressed when you don’t.

    #1229579

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, it is okay I almost have a boyfriend to start seriously dating and maybe even marry.

    #1229580

    Meno
    Participant

    B”H

    #1229581

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Meno, why B’H?

    #1229582

    Meno
    Participant

    B”H you almost have a boyfriend to start seriously dating and maybe even marry.

    #1229583

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Meno, I guess it is good that you like my boyfriend.

    #1229584

    Meno
    Participant

    How could I like him? I don’t even know him.

    #1229585

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Meno, and you never will.

    #1237859

    Meno
    Participant

    How do you know? Maybe I am him

    #1237973

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Meno, I did not know that you were him. But you guys are completely different.

    #1238146

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “But you guys are completely different.”

    That doesn’t sound good.

    I hope this isn’t the guy with the tattoo who you were giving rides to who is not Frum enough for you.

    #1238376

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, it does not matter if it is or is not.

    #1238464

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, I will have to admit it is. I know you will not approve but I am the one dating him not you.

    #1238857

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Aren’t you Jewish?

    #1238877

    Meno
    Participant

    I will have to admit it is. I know you will not approve but I am the one dating him not you.

    In that case, I retract my “B”H” and replace it with “oy, nebech”

    #1238884

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “But you guys are completely different.”

    Next time, try to find someone like Meno.

    #1238929

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, I am a religious Jew. Someone like Meno will not work for me.

    #1238954

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “Lilmod, I am a religious Jew. Someone like Meno will not work for me.”

    ???? Huh? What is that supposed to mean? Meno is way Frummer than this guy you are dating!!!!!

    #1238931

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Meno, that is very insulting. It is B’H.

    #1238962

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Rebshidduch, it is not insulting at all. It shows he cares about you and that he thinks you deserve someone better.

    #1238970

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, thank you. For me this is a good boy.

    #1238980

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    From your previous posts, that is clearly not the case. You are clearly acting on your emotions and not your seichel, and he is clearly not good for you.

    If you don’t believe me, go back and read your previous posts in the thread on that topic. (That was someone else’s idea – can’t remember who – maybe WTP? – anyhow, it was a great idea!)

    #1238989

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, some people change their minds. Now I think he would be a great husband for me.

    #1238995

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Again, from what you wrote before, it was clear that you might eventually reach that conclusion if you let your emotions blind your intellect.

    Your originals posts were written before you completely let your emotions take over. So they were written more from logic. But it was clear that you were going in the direction of letting your emotions take over.

    #1238998

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    I think from now on when you are trying to decide if a boy is for you, you should compare him to Meno. If you decide that he is “VERY different” from Meno, he is not for you.

    Of course, it doesn’t have to be Meno. It can be anyone you know in real life who is sensible, mature, well-grounded religiously and emotionally, cares about you and what’s good for you and is looking out for your best interests and not just for a girlfriend, knows what his goals in life are and those goals are to grow in his Avodas Hashem and he is looking for a partner to help him to fulfill those goals, is honest and doesn’t try to get you to do things you don’t want to do, etc.

    #1239015

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, from what it sounds like to you, your saying that you think he is looking for a girl friend and not a wive?

    #1239027

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, I regret not telling him it was okay to date me from the beginning.

    #1239029

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “Lilmod, from what it sounds like to you, your saying that you think he is looking for a girl friend and not a wive?”

    YES!

    #1239030

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, I meant to add to my last post that obviously Hashem did not want us to start dating right away. He wanted us to start at the right time which is now.

    #1239031

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    “Lilmod, I regret not telling him it was okay to date me from the beginning.”

    That’s to be expected. Once you started dating him, your emotions took hold and you can no longer think as clearly.

    #1239037

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    Lilmod, why would you say he would not want me as a wive and only as a girlfriend?

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