Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Status, social hiarchy and death of the self
- This topic has 11 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 days, 13 hours ago by gornit.
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May 31, 2026 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #2555516nevuahParticipant
Social insecurity arises in status-focused societies because individuals feel compelled to engage in social camouflaging (masking their true personalities) to meet rigid, often unrealistic expectations of “normality.” This pressure is exacerbated by social pressure and marketing, which create idealized benchmarks that lead to constant social comparison and feelings of inadequacy when one cannot maintain a perfect facade.
The pursuit of status transforms social interaction into a hierarchical competition where low-status individuals experience heightened status uncertainty and fear of rejection. This dynamic forces people to suppress their authentic selves to avoid marginalization, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and a sense of being an outsider, as the system prioritizes conformity over individual well-being.
June 1, 2026 9:46 am at 9:46 am #2555597Happy new yearParticipantEvery time I shut you up in one thread, you open a new one lol
June 1, 2026 11:48 am at 11:48 am #2555822nevuahParticipantBecause these are important things to talk about
June 1, 2026 11:48 am at 11:48 am #2555856qwerty613ParticipantTo Happy
This is the only thing the lunatic has in his life so he can’t give it up.
June 2, 2026 10:24 am at 10:24 am #2555968nevuahParticipantQwerty thank you. I’m such an lunatic. Got it. Moving on
June 3, 2026 11:21 am at 11:21 am #2557129Koifer BIkurParticipantWhat “nevuah” writes is true and plays out in the frum community every day. So what can be done about it?
June 5, 2026 12:28 pm at 12:28 pm #2558081qwerty613ParticipantTo Koifer Blkur
You ask a good question, and the answer is that nothing can be done about it. We can rail against materialism, but those who have money fuel the Mosdos and so no one is going to tell them what to do. And we can tell shadchanim that they should put a premium on menschlichkeit, but it will go in one ear and out the other. Your question explains why I don’t get involved in these discussions because it just leads to people venting their frustration with the system. You can’t fight city hall, so s person just has to find a happy medium in his own life.
June 7, 2026 11:17 am at 11:17 am #2558508nevuahParticipantThis is true. Qwerty your finally making sense. But if we don’t speak and use our voice. Then control will be absolute. Speaking up and talking about problems is also important too
June 7, 2026 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #2558982qwerty613ParticipantTo nevuah
I’ll share a story. About 30 years ago I wrote a letter to the Country Yossi Magazine in which I told the readers that if they decided to make Pesach at home, they shouldn’t consider themselves losers. I explained that it’s a more meaningful Yom Tov at home and often also more enjoyable. The letter was printed and at the end Yossi wrote, “See you in Orlando.” In other words, all the “haves” will be there so you can stay home with the “have-nots.” I’m fully aware that materialism is the order of the day in the frum world, but I don’t worry about it. Boruch Hashem, I spend my time working learning and writing. If others want to spend their lives consumed with Gashmius that’s their problem.
June 9, 2026 9:53 am at 9:53 am #2559558Koifer BIkurParticipantQwerty:
I am afraid you are right. Nothing will change until HaShem steps in and “clears the decks”. I don’t want to be around when that happens.
June 10, 2026 11:13 am at 11:13 am #2560041qwerty613ParticipantTo Koifer
The obsession with Gashmius is such stupidity. Quite a few Orthodox Jews went to the Knicks game yesterday. Assuming two friends went together they spent about 20,000 dollars. For 2000 dollars they could’ve watched the game at home on a giant TV screen with ten other friends with food from the best caterer. So why go to the game? They want to be at the4 same place as the celebrities. Hashem writes everything down. At 120 Hashem will tell them that if it was so important for you to be with Larry David in this world you can be with him in Olam Habo also.
June 11, 2026 11:09 am at 11:09 am #2561016nevuahParticipantI don’t agree with you qwerty besides for spending obscene money I don’t think going to game is hurting anyone.
And stop being so delusional “after 120” God is going to “reward” us. You know it’s not a carrot on a stick that you need to wait for redemption only at the last second. Your view of God is so controlling. HonestlyJune 11, 2026 11:09 am at 11:09 am #2561019nevuahParticipantHonestly qwerty I shouldn’t be getting on your case cuz your trying to add to the conversation which I appreciate i just personally hate that fear retoric. And I’ve always hated it cuz it makes people feel like they have to wait forever to see results and it’s annoying thing to feel and think
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