November 11, 2014 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #614219
Any stories (so we can bring awareness as to how stupid people sound and to get people to think twice before talking) of stupid things people have said to you?
Someone asked my friend if her child has down syndrome.
He doesn’t.November 11, 2014 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #1043016ivoryMember
Someone has asked me if my son has Down’s syndrome. He does.November 11, 2014 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1043017
Wow. Just wow.November 11, 2014 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1043018
Someone asked me if I was alive or a ghost because they couldn’t see me. I was standing behind them.November 11, 2014 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #1043019catch yourselfParticipant
[Visiting a patient in the hospital, two days after the removal of a brain tumor] “So…how big was it?”November 11, 2014 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #1043020TzfatMember
too many to listNovember 11, 2014 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #1043021
When I’m due any day and people ask me if there’s any news yet. So annoying! If there was news they would have heard already.November 11, 2014 11:47 pm at 11:47 pm #1043022
so IS there any news yet?
but seriously, they cant see ur still pregnant, maybe they think ur scheduling a c section and want to tell them the gender if u know, so they could come for a brisNovember 12, 2014 3:04 am at 3:04 am #1043024
“You hate Israel so what u hate the kosel” more then one person has said that to me beileve it or notNovember 12, 2014 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1043025
In what tone?November 12, 2014 4:04 am at 4:04 am #1043026
A rather unfriendly oneNovember 12, 2014 5:44 am at 5:44 am #1043027
You hate Israel. So what, you hate the Kosel.
You hate Israel? So what, you hate the Kosel.
You hate Israel. So what, you hate the Kosel!
You hate Israel! So what, you hate the Kosel?
You hate Israel? So what, you hate the Kosel!
?November 12, 2014 10:04 am at 10:04 am #1043028doleofyouParticipant
True story heard from eyewitess:
Man died young in a car crash. At the Shiva, somebody asked his brother: “So if you could see him one more time, what would you say to him?”
The brother, who had a sense of humour, shouted “Take the train, <Ploni>, take the train!!”.
Honestly, some people really know how to ask stupid questions.November 12, 2014 12:18 pm at 12:18 pm #1043029
Coffee addict- talking about my friends and family! People who see me all the time and can tell. ..November 12, 2014 1:49 pm at 1:49 pm #1043030ivoryMember
Your should answer “Of course! You didn’t hear?” This is just a watermelon I’m trying to steal!November 12, 2014 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #1043031
i should’ve put a ? after they couldn’t see ur still pregnant(?)
lol @ ivoryNovember 12, 2014 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #1043032BarryLS1Participant
When I was 8 years old, my first nephew was born. I was pushing his stroller in BP and someone asked me if I was the father.November 13, 2014 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #1043033
Now that’s idiotic.November 13, 2014 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm #1043034
Another good one is “wait ur chassidish “November 13, 2014 2:20 pm at 2:20 pm #1043035ED IT ORParticipant
So not a sheep: is there a mazel tov yet?November 13, 2014 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #1043036mythoughtsParticipant
During Yizkor my father was standing outside shul and a fellow asked my father why he wasn’t inside saying Yizkor. No response was given. My grandparents were alive and doing quite well.November 13, 2014 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #1043037
Nope! Will bez”h post on the mazal tov thread when there’s any newsNovember 13, 2014 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #1043038☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I know a fellow (“Reuven”) who was sitting shiva for his father. An old man walks in and asks, “Why are you sitting shiva? You’re adopted!”. Reuven hadn’t known.November 13, 2014 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #1043039
When I sat shiva for my father O”H 21 years ago, someone came in and started to say what I thought was going to be something very sweet to me, comparing me to her daughter (who is a very accomplished, intelligent woman, with many, many mailos). What she in fact said when she finished the sentence was, “Yes, you really remind me of my daughter. After she got married, she also became heavy!”
And when we sat shiva for my mother O”H five months later (yes, I lost both of them within five months unexpectedly), ANOTHER woman, an old friend of my parents, came in and started telling us about when she and my mom were both pregnant together. She gave birth first and had “a beautiful baby boy – THE most gorgeous baby boy ever brought into the universe. And so SMART!: Why, he could practically do calculus by the time of his bris! (I take poetic license here). Now comes the zinger. THEN, my MOM gave birth to my sister and (quote), “But as gorgeous as MY baby boy was…
THAT’S HOW UGLY YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE BORN! I didn’t know how to even wish a sincere mazel tov to your poor parents, nebbich, I was so upset for them!” Yes, this woman said those words, and she was NOT joking at the time, in case you think she was.
We were floored, because my sister was an absolutely gorgeous baby, so gorgeous, in fact, that the nurses all fought to take care of her, and told my mom they were so jealous of her, getting to take this beautiful baby home (and she WAS beautiful – I can attest to that, and she still is, kinehora ad meah v’esrim shana). But my poor sis was SO flummoxed by the woman’s comment that she unthinkingly stammered, “But I was always told I was a pretty baby – are you sure you don’t mean my sister???” (We are working through that remark to this day, LOL, but the truth is I was a preemie, born at the beginning of the 8th month, and really NOT so pretty a baby until I was a month old, and then I was GAW-JUSS!)
The woman quickly replied, “NOOOOOOO!!! It was YOU. B”H you finally grew into your looks later on! So I didn’t have to feel sorry for your parents anymore.”
People often say really stupid things when they cannot think of anything to say. And sometimes, the old adage is true. “Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt…”
BTW, my sibs and I (we are two girls and two boys) ALL had a really good laugh over these incidents, and when the second woman left we said, “Nichamtanu, Mrs. So and So. Nichamtanu.”November 13, 2014 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #1043040haifagirlParticipant
Actual conversation that I know about:
“What are you looking for?”
“I’m not really sure. Oh, but not a kohen.”
“You don’t want to marry a kohen?”
“I can’t marry a kohen.”
Stupid conversation I had with a friend:
Friend: How old are you?
Me: 52. [This was a few years ago.]
Friend: Oh, you’re the same age I am. I’ll be 52 in May.
[pause, laugh] Oops! My husband just reminded me I’m going to be 62, not 52.November 13, 2014 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #1043041PosterMember
My father sells cars, someone came over to him and said “Another car dealer owes me money so I will buy a car by him but i wanted to know if you can sit with me and compare all the advantages and disadvantages of a couple of different models so I will know what to choose when I buy it by this other guy”
My father, the tzaddik that he is, gave him an hour of his time as he asked this question and that.
Parnusah is from Hashem.November 13, 2014 7:03 pm at 7:03 pm #1043042
You have a special fatherNovember 13, 2014 7:56 pm at 7:56 pm #1043043yeshivaguys612Member
someone once called me fat another time someone called me stupid another time someone asked if it was a boy or girl i told them i wasnt expectingNovember 14, 2014 1:53 am at 1:53 am #1043044
People are thoughtless sometimes, and especially in public. Better not to react to them, and give everyone brachos.November 14, 2014 6:38 am at 6:38 am #1043045
For stupid things that may or may not have actually been said to people, but definitely never should be, I recommend the videos “How NOT to Perform Bikur Cholim,” “Shtick Yeshivish People Say At Shivas,” and “Things Not to Say on a Shidduch Date.”
Why was that stupid?
Ignorance is not stupidity.November 14, 2014 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #1043046screwdriverdelightParticipant
someone once told me not to cross on a red light because dina dimalchusa dinaNovember 14, 2014 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #1043047popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Reuven was sitting shiva for his father.
Guy comes in, and says, your great-aunt adopted a stray cat.
Reuven never knew.November 14, 2014 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1043048☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Pretty stupid to talk about a cat at shiva.November 14, 2014 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #1043049Dee50Member
I was in the hospital, having a miscarriage. The nurse comes into the room and says,
“And how are WE today????” In that annoying perky tone a woman having a miscarriage does not really appreciate.
My response, “My day is actually pretty lousy considering I’ve just lost my baby!” I must admit, I did edit this a little….And, as a general rule, I’m upbeat and happy but this was just really over the top!November 14, 2014 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #1043050
Not so stupid to talk about the cat if said great aunt is there and the cat followed her.November 15, 2014 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #1043051
It’s not up to a stranger to tell someone who’s grieving that they were actually adopted. That’s pretty tactless.November 15, 2014 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm #1043052secretagentyidMember
Im at a meal with a south african friend of mine.
Other guest “hey (friend) where are you from?”
He’s just taken a mouthful, so I reply
Me “He’s from South Africa”
OG “which country?”
Friend “the country S A”
OG “There’s a country called South Africa? Oh, is it near Mexico?”
FacepalmNovember 15, 2014 10:57 pm at 10:57 pm #1043053GG yekkeMember
on the subject of stupid things that people said (at a shiva) when my grandmother o”h died after the Levaya by father thanked the Chevra Kadisha and one of them said “its a pleasure”, so my grandfather who happened to hear it told him “you have funny pleasures in life”…November 16, 2014 1:32 am at 1:32 am #1043054
Tactless or thoughtless, yes, not stupid, though
I must admit that we (including myself) haven’t
been distinguishing between the two in this thread.
scared driver delight:
“someone once told me not to cross on a red
light because dina dimalchusa dina”
Actually, Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky wouldn’t even
cross against a red light on foot.
It seems there is a shita that all laws
of one’s country must be obeyed to the letter.
That wasn’t necessarily stupid. It might have been
stupid to expect your father to do it, but maybe he
asked around about him first.
GG [Golder(‘?)s Green, right?] yekke:
He might have meant that it was a pleasure to
be able to do chessed for your grandmother,
and your grandfather might have been
joking in a way that’s common on the Coffee Room.November 16, 2014 2:25 am at 2:25 am #1043055screwdriverdelightParticipant
randomex: I was talking about on foot and if R’ Yaakov didn’t do it, it was probably because of chilul hashem or something. Dina dimalchusa dina refers to monetary laws which are binding in halacha.November 16, 2014 3:04 am at 3:04 am #1043056
They said it and it was true. They weren’t quoting, they were simply saying the same words.November 17, 2014 11:24 pm at 11:24 pm #1043057GG yekkeMember
yes randomex my grandfather was joking, he is very cynical (in a way that’s common on the Coffe Room)in a humorous way and he had lots of one liners of that sort, which he used throughout the shivaNovember 18, 2014 4:42 am at 4:42 am #1043058
Saying something tactless IS stupid.November 19, 2014 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #1043059✡onegoal™Participant
Someone once told my grandmother she was fat, so she told them “I’m filling in the wrinkles as they come.”November 19, 2014 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #1043060writersoulParticipant
I have one friend who constantly tells me about all of her clothing that she “just lost so much weight and now simply can’t fit into, they’re so big- writersoul, you should really try them on!”
And the tone of surprise when people see my yearbook picture is priceless. Yes, as a matter of fact, I was wearing makeup, thanks for asking.November 19, 2014 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #1043061
That sounds more mean than stupid.November 19, 2014 10:14 pm at 10:14 pm #1043062
Writersoul – really???? People can be so foolish.November 20, 2014 10:52 am at 10:52 am #1043063writersoulParticipant
For #1: She’s actually a genuinely nice person and if I wanted the clothes (which, incidentally, would be a bit too big on me) she would gladly give them to me- she was being completely serious. I just don’t think that she was thinking about how it made me feel- and I think it made her feel good about her weight loss as well, which isn’t something I’ll begrudge her.
The yearbook picture thing is just funny. I don’t think it looks like me either, to be honest. My grandmother has it in her living room and shows it off to everyone who comes in- one time I had to drop mail off by a neighbor (in a maxiskirt, braid and no makeup, more pimples) and the neighbor gave me a long look when I said who I was and the lightbulb immediately clicked on- “oh! You’re [writersoul’s mom]’s daughter! Tell your sister that her yearbook picture is beautiful!” I sort of just smiled politelyish and left.November 20, 2014 10:36 pm at 10:36 pm #1043064
Why do you feel a need to take apart everyone’s posts and list the things you think were faulty in them? Do you think it will make people look forward to your posts?
I know this has been brought to your attention before, please be more considerate.November 21, 2014 12:27 am at 12:27 am #1043065
you see what i mean, randomex would make a great college professor
Yup, caught it the first time.
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