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Hi
I have a stuttering problem and I am scared the person that I will meet on a shidduch don’t want me because of this proble
You seem to not know how to spell and use grammar properly which leads me to believe that you are probably a kid or maybe Chassidish. Either way you have nothing to worry about regardless of who you are. I know boys and girls who stutter and are married happily. If your stutter is extreme then get professional help.
You shouldn’t worry about something which is beyond your control.
I know plenty of people with stuttering problems who married wonderful spouses. It’s actually a good filter; you’ll surely marry someone who is understanding and patient!
Hatzlocha!
Z.S – If the person you are going out with has a problem looking past a tiny thing like that, that’s a flaw in them, not you. Most people will not care about a thing like that.
Just be yourself because that is the only people will be able to appreciate you. If they cant appreciate that, then they are the ones with the problem
If you feel the fluency problem is affecting your confidence you might want to consider speech therapy, if you haven’y already attended. If you live in NY there is also a crash course offered in Manhattan that is practically free if you qualify for financial aid. If your stutter is only mild then you should try not to worry about it. Anyone who wouldn’t want you because of it would not be a good spouse anyway.
You are in good company. Moshe Rabbeinu had a stuttering problem.
I I I I I I… Ddddddont think thats a pr pr pr pr oblem.
stanleyc, if you think you are funny, humorous, you are a shame and disgrace to this site and should be banned forthwith. Making fun of someone created betzelem Elokim, think twice, and now for the famous Freudian quote, yes some of us are educated, never is a truer word said in jest, stop hurting others it is not the Jewish way.
WIY, agreed.
welldressed007- “forthwith”? are you jesting your scurvy cur? Dont you know that people who stutter dont have a neshama?
Hershi said it first. Moshe Rabbeinu was also a stutterer, and this did not prevent him from making a phenomomenal shidduch OR becoming the greatest Gadol in Jewish history. Just be yourself. the right type of girl will welcome you, stutter and all. If it bothers you a great deal, get speech therapy. King George V (?), the father of Queen Elizabeth, did this and became a great speechmaker in spite of his former severe stuttering problem.
There is a frum support group called The Jewish Stuttering Association that may be able to give you experience, hope, and resources. If you are willing to pay for professional help, you may be interested in Schneider Speech Pathology. Hatzlocho!
DY said a great thing – it is a great filter. It is obviously not something that you can hide and it is a great idea to get help now if possible.
I have a friend whose husband is a stutterer. I personally don’t think I have the patience to deal with one (not a compliment to myself) but I see that she is a very special person and her husband is a very warm person. She was able to see past this issue and was rewarded with a wonderful husband. Try to make sure that your personality shows through when you do go out on a date.
cuz many (most?) peopke dont view stuttering as a ‘problem’, not one that would really concern them. Like a slight limp or early receding hairline, if it doesnt bother the person, they can see right through that and find out who you are. That’s why they’d want to marry, not because of a superficial stutter.
Let’s face it, she won’t be perfect either. But she will be perfect to you. You will be the perfect one for her. Dont worry
stanleyc, you are a person indeed in need of help. It appears you have no shame. I assume you are not Shomer Shabbas as your words and actions do not reflect those of a Ben-Torah. The words you choose and act upon in the confines of your home have no bearing on the world, once you step out of those confines it behooves you to think prior to speaking and mocking others. You do this so well in the guise of hiding behind a non deplume. In the real world you are nothing but a coward and a bully and more than likely very insecure, hence the inherent need to mock others.
Wow.
This is so ouchy.
*gets popcorn*
stanleyc-“Dont you know that people who stutter dont have a
neshama?
Your saying Moshe did not have a neshama.Keep your insults to your self
You may be able to cure your own stuttering problem by speaking more slowly, and stopping to breathe. If this doesn’t work try a speech therapist.
Z.S.—- you want to know why someone that dosent stutter will want to marry someone that does. Well I don’t know but I know that my sister does not stutter and she married a boy that does and they’re happily married. Hashem creates an attraction between a boy and a girl that are meant for each other and that attraction makes all these things your thinking of go away. No one is perfect! Even if you don’t see their imperfection, so rest assured you’ll fund your zivug and when someone says no to you, remember they’re not for you.
The one that will marry you and love you will even love your stutter.
Remember that same Hashem that created you created your stutter and created your zivug.
May you find your zivug b’shaah tova umutzlachas.
Take some good advice from an adult PWS- A person who stutters. From the get go tell her that you stutter. This will lift pressure of trying to conceal it which is impossible. There is an excellent PODCAST called STUTTER TALK. There is much to learned from the experience of others. Try this out with your friends first and get used to laying your cards on the table.
You should not compromise on middos. In fact, you might not be able to; a girl with poor middos might not have tolerance for your stuttering.
You need to adjust your attitude that a girl who’s “no so smart not so pretty” isn’t a top girl.
Z.S. you should look into Speecheasy. It’s a device that you would wear like a small hearing aid and it can help get rid of that stutter. It can cost about $4,900. Quite a bit.
Now there are apps for the iphone that will do the same thing for so much less.
Look into it and see.
I assume that you must talk on the phone before you actually go out. If this is pre arranged date than she knows everything there is to know about. You. ZS go for it you are better than the rest GO FOR IT Tell you only stutter when talking to a very pretty girl
“ZS go for it you are better than the rest GO FOR IT Tell you only stutter when talking to a very pretty girl” Robertz
Well said!
ZS, a top girl is one you like, and to find her you do need to go on dates, I know it can be tough as a very close relative also has a stutter and felt just like you do before dating. He is now dating a girl who has good middos and is pretty too. Looks and attraction do matter, not in the sense of pleasing everyone else, but above all else in pleasing you.
You may well find that with the right girl your speech and confidence are no longer an issue, and she, if a caring good person will actually delight in offering you support.
To those who ask why date someone with a stutter, good grief, a person is not an inanimate object to be viewed for value and worth, a date is fellow human being who can make you happy, laugh and think. Chemistry is what makes the world go round, and chemistry is far more important in making a shidduch work than a so called ” perfect” date who ticks all the boxes but lacks personality etc.
Hi,
there is a Jewish organiztion,the Jewish Stuttering Association, which holds suppport groups in New York and New Jersey for Jewish people who stutter. They can put you in touch with people who stutter who have successfully navigated shidduchim.
Contact The JSA
http://www.jstutter.org/contact-the-jsa/
My two cents is that you let your speech define you as a person and therefore feel that you are not likeable.
Do you have maylois that other people do not have?
Would a girl rather marry a jerk who can talk without a problem (espicaly when he is being mean to her) or nice who who stutters?
You are a whole person with defects, like everyone else in the world.
Why are you focusing on one thing and letting it define you as person?
Why do you feel you are less worthy or less whole because you sometimes get stuck on words?
Who told you that is a sin?
BTW the vice president of the USA stutters. Many very succesful people stutter.
Go for whoever you want and see what happens. The worst that can happen is they will say “no”.If you don’t try you FOR SURE wont get “her”.
HATZLACHA
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