Taking children (3rd garde and up) to shul

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  • #604587
    ScooterJew613
    Participant

    My wife yells at me because I dont go to an early davening like i normally do during the year, during the summer i daven at 8 am so I can take my son to shul. I guess the question is will you get beter results by leading as an emaple meaning stay with my minyan and he will see the energy and devotion by going to my regualr minyan or take him to a later daven so I can daven with him and see to it that he davens nicely?

    #891619
    Sam2
    Participant

    It certainly won’t be good for your son’s Chinuch if he sees you and your wife fighting over taking him to Davening, regardless of what time it is.

    #891620
    oomis
    Participant

    Why would your wife be upset about that? (Unless she is upset that you don’t take your son to the EARLY minyan, so she has some quiet in the house). I’m with you on this one. Always teach your child by example, the proper derech eretz in the minyan, and he will SEE your devotion both to the minyan AND him, and appreciate this time spent with you. My 2 cents.

    #891621
    Curiosity
    Participant

    Maybe the best thing is not to yell at our spouses.

    #891622
    2scents
    Participant

    I second Sam2’s comment.

    Results will not ONLY depend on him seeing you Daven good. It will need much more than that. At least its a step in the right direction.

    #891623
    Nechomah
    Participant

    Having sons who are reluctant to go to shul because, in my opinion, their father could never take them to shul, I would say that it is very important for a father to take his son to shul and let him see that you’re makpid on daavening in a minyan (regardless of the time). I can’t see the harm in missing your regular time for daavening while it is vacation time to take that opportunity to teach your son how to behave in shul and what the daavening during the week looks like (I imagine that taking him to shul on Shabbos is not an issue). It is to your credit that you take this interest in your son’s chinuch at this stage. I had a neighbor whose 5 year-old son was ready to go to shul to daaven netz on Rosh Hashanah before his father just out of excitement. Having a chance to spend time with his father I’m sure will be very good for your son.

    As far as women screaming at their husbands (which I am unfortunately guilty of myself), I would strongly suggest that you speak to a third party so that both of you can hear the other’s side in a nonantagonizing way. If she has a Rebbetzin she is close with or you want to pick a neutral third party, if you don’t mind “hanging out the dirty laundry” for someone, it would be good to help the lines of communication develop on less attacking levels so that both of you can learn to handle these kinds of situations which come up more and more often the older the children get, hopefully without the aid of the third party in the future.

    #891624
    ScooterJew613
    Participant

    Let me clear the air a bit hear, my wife doesnt scream or yell, but she makes it known that she is annoyed that I dont go to early davening like I normally do to assist with carpool. As for taking my son I actulally took my both my sons today although my 2nd grader is really ready he just wanted to tag along because big brother went to the 8:30 minyan. BUT we all learned together afterwards Chumash with my 2nd grader and mishnayos with my 4th.

    #891625

    4th?

    #891626
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant
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