Talking about dates

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  • #597227
    dbwcbb
    Member

    Sooooo i was recently on a date and we got onto the conversation of guys vs girls, particularly when it comes to them talking about their dating lives. He said that most guys aren’t secretive about when they’re going out, mostly since they bounce ideas off of each other. Girls, on the other hand, tend to be all hush-hush about these things.

    Any thoughts on how guys are diff from girls in this aspect? Do you think they talk about dates more, less? Do they mention names when they come back in yeshiva; duz everyone know who’s dating everyone? Looking forward to hearin everyone’s opinions 🙂

    #774288
    Pac-Man
    Member

    I would tend to think girls are much more talkative about it than guys.

    #774289
    aries2756
    Participant

    Yes, guys do mention names for some reason. Girls are less likely to mention names especially if the boy was the one who said “no” to a second or third date.

    Maybe boys want feedback from other guys. They want to hear what their friends think about the girl, if she is pretty enough, rich enough, etc. Or if someone else checked her out and got more information than they did. It is only when they start to get serious about a girl that they clam up.

    #774290
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I think it’s unhealthy to talk about who you’re dating, as well as being somewhat coarse and immodest.

    #774291
    Dovid S.
    Member

    Girls generally gossip more than boys, especially about these kind of “girlish” matters, so yes, I AGAIN find myself agreeing with Joseph/PacMan/HaLeivi

    #774292
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    In my circles both don’t talk.

    #774293
    adorable
    Participant

    i think in the beginning its the girls who talk more but once things get serious i think the girls get nervous and stop talking and thats when the guys start talking

    #774294
    Sacrilege
    Member

    Firstly, I make it a point not to talk about dating ON dates. I think its counterproductive.

    Secondly, guys definitely talk about their dates much more than girls. My best friends who know every time I put a piece of food in my mouth can not know I’m dating a guy until its over…

    #774295
    dunno
    Member

    I think when guys discuss dates they say names while girls leave the names out.

    #774296
    bpt
    Participant

    I’m with Dunno. I think girls discuss / analyze the “experince”, and guys discuss the “facts”

    Not sure if its avaliable on Google, but the all time classic is the “Roger, Elaine and the white horse” story.

    If you can’t find it, and want to hear it, please let me know. Its must read material for boys to understand how the female mind thinks.

    #774297
    Busy As A Bee
    Participant

    I’ve had this debate with my brother considering we’re both in shidduchim, and it came down to it that while girls are usually more talk a tive, in regards to dating boys talk more for the simple reason that majority of them are in some form of dorm setting. If girls were leaving in a dorm, and not at home forget it we’d totally talk more. Since at this stage most girls are at home, less people know when we’re dating and only the ones we want to knw… while boys since they’re in a dorm, their roommates know, their chavrussas etc etc etc.

    #774298
    yetzertov
    Member

    I can only talk for myself and my friends. Yes, we all lovee talking about our dating stories.AFTER the fact!! We will always say “I once went out with a guy…” Even if that story occurred the night before. My close friends though know when I’m dating usually.cuz I can’t keep it to myself.my mom feels I should.she’s right.I always do try…. And about saying names-i dontt cuz its sickkkk lashon hara! Because I rannnnk out the dudes I date! 🙂

    #774299
    yid.period
    Member

    bpt

    What’s the story?

    #774300
    bpt
    Participant

    (edited for the CR audience)

    Roger is dating a woman named Elaine. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

    And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

    (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

    (Elaine, deeply moved, says:)

    (Elaine turns to face him , causing him to become very nervous

    about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

    The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

    #774301
    adorable
    Participant

    I dont understand the horse part but i do understand that they are thinking on diff paths.

    #774302
    bpt
    Participant

    The other point of the story was, that women read much more into the fine points and nuances than do men.

    Not a problem, just a difference.

    #774303
    RabbiDoctor
    Member

    Great story bpt, i’ve read it before; love it every time.

    adorable, I think the point of bpt’s story is that girls are much more emotional and willing to discuss their dating lives with their friends than boys are. It also shows they can take it way past the point the boys are. If boys do discuss it, which i happen to know quite a few don’t, it’s only for the sake of ‘hock’.

    #774304
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Dave Barry at his best.

    #774305
    cshapiro
    Member

    wow sac, i am so with u on that one. i have one closest friend who sometimes knows because i txt her what im wearing for advice 🙂 lol.

    i agree that guys talk about it more, i guess when u come back to the dorm at 3 or 4 am the other guys have a right to know….

    #774306
    observanteen
    Member

    bpt: Gosh, your post is hilarious! Well put! lol (a couple of times)!!

    #774307
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    i guess when u come back to the dorm at 3 or 4 am

    Reminds me of my first date.

    So my two roommates and I had been teasing each other the entire year about who would be the first to go on a date. Then we started making bets.

    Finally around the end of June, I proposed the following bet: Whenever one of us would go on a date, the others would have to go on a date within one week.

    One of my roommates agreed to the bet, and one did not.

    Now, I was willing to make the bet because I already had said yes to a girl and was going out in a couple of days.

    So I go out on Tuesday night, and come back at midnight. I walk into the room, turn on the light, say “Ploni, wake up! You have a week.” He says, “I already said yes to someone before we made the bet. I’m going out sunday.”

    And the guy who wouldn’t bet- he had gone out two days earlier, but slept at home that night so we wouldn’t know.

    #774308
    Sacrilege
    Member

    “And the guy who wouldn’t bet…”

    Is he the one that got married first?.

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