Teenagers and technology

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  • #1824729

    lovetosurf
    Participant

    Any suggestions how I can limit my (beis yakov)
    teenage daughter on her I-pad ?

    #1824806

    Joseph
    Participant

    Take it away from her.

    #1824807

    akuperma
    Participant

    There are perhaps a billion parents in the world with the same question.

    #1824812

    There is an App called Screen Time. the URL to view is https://www.idownloadblog dot com/2018/06/14/limit-kids-screen-time/

    #1824843

    RebbeDebbie
    Participant

    Keep her away from eating chalov stam and wearing denim skirts!

    On a serious note, if you try to lock it down with filters and other restrictions, she (or her friends) will find a way around them if they really want. It’s actually an easy task to accomplish.

    Perhaps, have your wife have an honest conversation with her (in private) about the dangers of the Internet, nasty people that take advantage of innocence, etc. The more you restrict some things, the possibility of your child rebelling can increase.

    I think it’s best to be open with children regarding some things to a certain extent, and let them know if they ever need to talk then your heart and ears are open to listen to them.

    #1824901

    flatbushaskan
    Participant
    #1824931

    Richmond Braun
    Participant

    “There are perhaps a billion parents in the world with the same question.”
    And there are thousands of parents who happily do not have it as they never let these devices into their home. Practically, however, not everyone is on that level but one can affix a certain two hours to use it and the rest of the time it must be shut off. You might implement sort of a reward system for her cooperation.

    #1824975

    chash
    Participant

    probably to late in game to try to restrict her. Only way it can work now is, as someone commented above, have a conversation with her. If you see that she is agreeable and understands the point, then putting structure in place will be effective for those times she herself is , for whatever reason, unable to follow on her own.
    (now that i got the pedagogue side of me out i will confess that what i have just said may be correct, and may just as well be utter bull product. I am not a mechanech/educator and my oldest child is less than 3 years of age(=0

    #1825000

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I’m assuming that any parent asking the question, likely is not from the segment of the frum tzibur that realistically can deny their kids ANY access to technology or the internet. Indeed, with a screen name, “ILOVETOSURF, I further assume that the poster is not a professional on the Pacific Coast surfing circuit and more likely is a social media addict of sorts. With regard to your daughter, דאָס עפּעלע פֿאַלט ניט װײַט פֿון בײמעלע

    #1825008

    The process is simple. Step 1:
    Don’t feed trolls.

    #1825060

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    If you want to limit your teenage daughter’s use of an iPad, just get her an Android tablet.

    #1825067

    lovetosurf
    Participant

    Thanks for all your replies. Actually we do
    not have wifi in the house and the appliance
    Doesnt even have internet, it is really for
    games and And yes I have spoken to her,
    and no my username is not because i
    surf the net all day and we Don’t drink
    chalav akum! Well I will resort to tefilla!!
    BzH may all our kinderlach be well! Thanks!

    #1825082

    akuperma
    Participant

    Richmond Braun: Agreed. There are thousands of parents who banned the things, which leaves billions (99%) who haven’t. Its a worldwide problem. The reliance on devices undermines reading skills, interpersonal communications and even health (affecting vision and causing the sorts of physical problems that wold get OSHA mad at an employer). And while many of our rabbanim were clever enough to object, it needs to be noted that this isn’t so much a “frum” problem (probably affecting only our community), but a global problem (affecting our entire species).

    #1825131

    Joseph
    Participant

    It’s like letting her have a loaded gun so long as you place a trigger lock filter.

    #1825254

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    GH, you say, the apple doesn’t fall far from tree. My Rebbi the Mattersdorfer Rav, Rav Shmuel Ehrenfeld ztz’l said that in a storm wind it does. The internet and outside influences is currently a storm wind.

    #1825252

    flowers
    Participant

    Telling her not to use it is not going to help if she doesn’t have other outlets or activities to fill her time. Make sure she’s busy with other things to do. Shiruim, games, going places etc. And just plain quality attention.

    #1825319

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Reb Eliezer: As usual, very thoughtful and insightful comment. I guess I look at the internet somewhat differently. Yes, the internet certainly constitutes a “storm” in terms of its disruptive effect to life as we knew it before it was invented by Al Gore. However, as we also know, a disruptive event can have both positive and negative long-term effects. I think the jury is still out and from a personal perspective, the internet (with proper useage and protective screens ) has been a major net benefit to myself and our family. Others will view it differently.

    #1825322

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Joseph, what do you have against gun rights?

    #1825335

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    GH, Where is the GAON?

    #1825336

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Reb Yid: He is using the term “loaded gun’ as a metaphor for an IPad that can only link to the CR and even then will be filtered so that one will only be able to view the 4703 posts from Reb Yosef (as of 10 PM on 25 Tevet) .

    #1825646

    bsharg2
    Participant

    I do not plan on letting my children use IPads or Iphones or any kind of “smart phone” device until they are 18. If you put filters, they WILL get around them.

    Smart phones and internet are very dangerous for children. I am a pediatrician. I have seen what these devices do to children. I’m not just talking about yiddishe kinder, but all children. Smart phone use is directly linked with increased rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide in children. Not to mention increased risk of going OTD. The prefrontal cortex is not developed until early 20’s, and this is the part of the brain that Hashem made for judgement and making good decisions. Adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. Teens process information with the amygdala which is the emotional part. The CEO’s at Google and facebook do not let their own children use these devices.

    I plan on giving my children simple phones that can make phone calls and text messages. No internet. The dangers are too great.

    #1825677

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    “Where is the GAON”

    Assuming you are referring to Reb Gore, the genius that invented the internet and taught the Trumpkopf everytiing he knows about global warming,, he is on a sailboat heading back to the California from the World Economic Forum in Davos. Given how much “heat’ (exuse the pun) he took in prior years for traveliing to Davos via CO2 emitting chartered jets, this time he took the Train to the French port of Le Havre and is taking a sailboat from there back home.

    #1826006

    lovetosurf
    Participant

    In response to bsharg2, you can plan all
    You like what you intend to allow and not
    allow, like I did. All intentions good, but the
    fact is they get to an age where they have
    their own money and you can’t control them.
    So it’s a very delicate balance. And if your
    child is the only one in the class without..
    Oy va voy, you won’t here the end of it.
    At the end of the day, we day what we can
    To try to hold off and daven a lot for siyata
    D’shmaya. I see it is the only way to go.

    #1826139

    bsharg2
    Participant

    Even if my children are the only ones in class without a smart phone, thats fine. They can bother me all they want, they know I am a strict mother and I don’t budge. I will buy them a phone when they are 14/15, but it will be a phone that can call/text only, no internet. As a mother, my job is to protect them, teach them to follow halakha, do mitzvos…not to be their buddy or friend.

    #1826243

    5ish
    Participant

    “call/text only”

    How is that going to help? You don’t think teenager who want to can find the other people who want to call/test inappropriate things?

    #1827888

    press87
    Participant

    Get a passcode so that she has 2 come 2 u open the ipad

    #1830684

    Jzq
    Participant

    Take the ipad and Crack it on a chair then gather all the ipads in the world and burn then

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