texting a teacher/rabbi

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  • #604023
    sem graduate
    Member

    Would you say it is ok to text a teacher or rabbi who gave you their cell number?

    #883523
    Loyal Jew
    Participant

    When did it become ok for a teacher or rabbi to have a cell number?

    #883524
    choppy
    Participant

    The Talmid should first ask his Rebbi if it is okay.

    #883525
    sem graduate
    Member

    Choppy: Is it an appropriate request on behalf of the talmid?

    #883526
    Sam2
    Participant

    Loyal Jew: When was it ever not okay?

    #883527
    choppy
    Participant

    real israeli: There is nothing wrong with asking the rebbe if it is okay or not okay.

    #883528
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    real israeli, the Rebbi AND the Talmid don’t have Kosher phones?? In Israel???

    !!!

    SiDi™

    #883529
    sem graduate
    Member

    SiDi, how about in NY/NJ/anywhere else in the US? The question was simply if the idea of a teacher/student/rebbi/talmid texting to each other was ok or it was too informal?

    #883530
    choppy
    Participant

    Ask the rebbe.

    #883531
    Nechomah
    Participant

    Why did he give the cell phone number? If texting seems to be too impersonal, try talking. Shailas cannot always be fully understood from words alone.

    #883532
    Sam2
    Participant

    It probably depends on the Rebbe and on the Talmid. Choppy is right. There’s no reason not to ask.

    #883533
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    okay, okay! I was referring more to your SN then the OP…

    More like a joke.

    SiDi™

    #883534
    sem graduate
    Member

    Nechomah – its not a matter of impersonal – the question is informal? Should there be a higher level of respect for a teacher/rebbi? Is it in a way a lack of derech eretz?

    SiDi – I did not take it personally, just wanted to explain

    #883535
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    There was a thread about this before. Many Rabbis nowadays encourage you to text them, not necessarily for actual shaylos but to set up appointments, see if they are available, etc.

    #883536
    sem graduate
    Member

    Mod 42 – do you know where this thread is? Can you provide a link?

    #883537
    sem graduate
    Member

    Any other opinions by the way… I would love to hear them…

    #883538
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    42, I think you are talking about adults texting their Rav for shailos etc. I think real israeli is talking about a Bochur in Yeshiva (somewhere between grade 1 and 12) texting his Rebbe to schmozze or something like that. They are two totally different things.

    Correct me if I’m wrong about any of this.

    SiDi™

    #883539
    sem graduate
    Member

    I am referring to rebbeim from yeshiva/ teachers from high school/sem… but after the teacher/rebbe is no longer teaching the student/talmid

    #883540
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    Okay, so the student wants to text his former teacher. (BTW, we are not talking about different genders, are we?) If they were close to each other and want to keep a kesher, I don’t think there is something wrong with that. But, if s/he is a current student, there should be some type of boundary and texting can get very ‘heimesh’.

    SiDi™

    #883541
    sem graduate
    Member

    SiDi, so you think that once the teacher is no longer teaching the student there doesnt need to be a formal boundary?

    #883542
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    Yes, a boundary. Every relationship needs some sort of boundary. But to keep a kesher with a Rebbe can be a very good thing. It doesn’t have to be through texting, but if that is the easiest method today, use it!

    I Bump™ a Text Messaging thread for you. Click HERE.

    And, one more time, I am assuming we are talking about a Male/Male / Female/Female Teacher/Student relationship, correct?

    SiDi™

    #883543
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant

    Mods, can you fix my above post to read:

    I Bump™ed a …

    Thanks!

    #883544
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    I text my rebbi fairly frequently.

    #883545
    sem graduate
    Member

    Sidi, yes I as referring to male/male female/female relationships. Somebody told me that they do it and I was a little surprised because I feel that it is a very casual and informal means of communication

    #883546
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Hi real israeli,

    I have text communication with some current and former students. The communication is a reflection no different than the classroom cordiality. Texts range from, “Good Shabbos”, to asking if I know of any summer jobs, keeping me up to date on what cities they are learning in at present, sending regards from someone, notifying me of a simcha, some are now in college and ask for some thoughts on assignments they are working on, even some good-natured sports rivalry conversation or updates on political issues; no different than a schmooze we may have after class. There is the same politeness and good tidings.

    #883547
    Sam2
    Participant

    Every Rebbe is different, every student is different, and every relationship is different. We should trust that Rebbeim know what the proper boundaries for each student and each relationship are. Trying to establish generalizations only inhibits the teacher’s ability to connect with each student in a way that’s necessary for them.

    #883548
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    In my opinion thats not ok. We once had a teacher and her rules were simple, no eating/drinking or opening/closing the window or texting…..she would then say do x,y,z page in your books and would open the window, eat a snack while texting….during class….

    #883549
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Hi real israeli,

    I wanted to add that usually it starts when the students first have access to a cell phone either via their parents or their own. Usually they are excited and ask, “Oh, can I text you? I just got a phone….etc”

    Depending on the chemistry/personality of the rebbe/teacher, in a way it’s good they want to try out their new phones texting responsible adults in the community.

    It’s a good question, and you make a great point. I guess it’s a case by case basis. It’s similar to the various adult personalities I have studied with over the years. Some me I have studied with are more formal and keep it to study only, and others are formal during study, too, but may forward Jewish jokes or texts that are being forwarded with light-hearted information.

    I guess if the students are excited about texting a teacher/rebbe, when they first get a phone, and it does not break down the boundary line of instructor and learner in the class, I guess it can be an extension, too, of a valuable teacher/rebbe rapport.

    If that line breaks down, then the rebbe/teacher has to tighten things up and go back to basics and reestablish a more formal role with the student.

    #883550
    sem graduate
    Member

    BT Guy – do your students text to you using proper language or do they use shorthand. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t text using “texting language” and in my opinion it seems to be a very informal method of communication – one more appropriate for two friends than for a teacher and student

    Shopping613 – I don’t really get the connection between what you said and the question that was asked. Do you mind explaining?

    #883551
    RABBAIM
    Participant

    Even if the Rebbe/ Morah/Teacher/Rav say OK, please write out what you want to say and don’t use “text abbreviated language”. Speak in writing. Great not gr8, by the way and not btw, for you and not 4u……..

    #883552
    sem graduate
    Member

    Hi BT Guy – what if the student is out of school – not a student who recently got a cell phone; I heard this from a friend who is out of school already and has a cell phone for a few years – I’m not sure of the reason behind wanting to text a teacher because she texts plenty of friends already.

    Rabbaim – how do you send a text without abbreviations – you’re limited to 160 characters – which is about 1 or 2 sentences….

    #883553
    choppy
    Participant

    If the text is more than 160 characters, it’ll be sent as multiple texts. No biggie.

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