Thanks in Advance

Home Coffeeroom Chesed Thanks in Advance

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  • #1673251

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Why do people request advice and then say, “Thanks in advance”?

    Isn’t it appropriate to thank someone after they’ve tried to help you, not before?

    Any insights are greatly appreciated.

    TIA

    #1673280

    Sam Klein
    Participant

    Cause their hoping the people reading it will feel good that even if they try to help them and are unsuccessful they are still thankful to them for trying.

    The messagd of writing TIA is to please try to help me any advice or tip on what the person needs help will be appreciated even if it doesn’t solve my issue so I want to thank you before to let you know that I appreciate your help even for just trying and even if it didn’t end up solving my problem.

    Versus if people would not write it lots of people reading the help letter would say it sounds arrogant and the person won’t appreciate it so there’s no use in spending time helping him with tips of advice or information on his issue he needs help with.

    From a psychologist

    Don’t forget to Thank Hashem also whenever you get help. We are all just agents sent directly from Hashem to help others but all the help is really actually coming directly from Hashem

    #1673277

    Mammele
    Participant

    DY: Thanks for cracking me up…

    And I do respond to trolls sometimes so here it is:

    Thanking someone in advance is a form of “shoched” otherwise known as flattery, which oftentimes does the trick.

    Although professionals might warn you not to use this concept in business letters etc. as it implies you expect the person to help you and thus it ironically negates his/her generosity, I’d make exception when dealing with politicians, as it’s legal and they don’t understand a different language.

    #1673353

    Justajew39
    Participant

    True

    #1673356

    ZionGate
    Participant

    DY,
    Why don’t YOU tell us??
    You’ve been asking for help on your trollypop threads with like: Any advice? Can you help me? Thank you so very much for any help..Any help would be appreciated..
    Where’s your uncle? Sleeping?

    #1673476

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The messagd of writing TIA is to please try to help me any advice or tip on what the person needs help will be appreciated even if it doesn’t solve my issue

    You can do that after the response as well.

    Thanks for trying.

    #1673477

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Thanking someone in advance is a form of “shoched” otherwise known as flattery, which oftentimes does the trick.

    Good insight. Thank you.

    #1673478

    DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    ZG, I’m not understanding what you’re saying, but thanks for trying.

    #1673894

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s not flattery, it’s a trick. It skips over the part where the other person makes the decision of whether or not to help.

    #1674018

    DovidBT
    Participant

    @rebyidd23: Exactly.

    #1675050

    Mammele
    Participant

    RY: You’re right to a certain extent. It really depends on how well it’s phrased and how gullible the person receiving the thanks is.

    We’d all probably be thanking our kids in advance if it always worked and literally took away their choice to not do what asked. But most kids are smart enough to decide for themselves either way. And that’s good or else they’d be robots… Most adults are not that gullible either, except maybe the really insecure ones.

    #1675149

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Sometimes it works on toddlers. You say “thank you” while taking away the thing they’re holding, and they believe they gave it to you.

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