The Freezer

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  • #614764

    Only one week to Tu B’shvat! The freezer is about to open! Does it really prevent shiduchim, or are we just desperate for a scapegoat so we don’t have to face the reality that shidduchim are like krias yam suf, and the only way to accomplish krias yam suf is by davening?

    #1055540
    Joseph
    Participant

    How does it allegedly “prevent shidduchim”?

    #1055541

    By pushing eligible bochurim off for six months, it widens the age gap, thereby resulting in fewer girls married. I don’t know how accepted the age gap theory is, but I think this is related.

    #1055542
    Joseph
    Participant

    So you’re suggesting that the Roshei Yeshivos of Lakewood share a large part of the blame for fewer Jewish girls being able to get married as a result of the age gap?

    #1055543
    BarryLS1
    Participant

    Maybe pushing Bochrim off for six months is a good thing. Many need to mature a lot more first, which would lessen divorces.

    #1055544
    birdson
    Participant

    If i remember correctly, Hashem told Moshe not to daven and to just walk into the Yam Suf.

    #1055545
    TheGoq
    Participant

    This may come as a shock but there are other Yeshivos,

    #1055546
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    @barry, think again, men never mature… its all an act

    #1055547
    the plumber
    Member

    Crazybrit

    Youre right. They need 6 mos to work on the act

    #1055548
    theprof1
    Participant

    the freezer idea was made because boys would come to lakewood only for the name and be missing from yeshiva cause they were dating. the idea is good. it allows a boy to immerse himself in learning before dating. giving him a sense of torah life. the girls don’t mind this. this isn’t the reason for the crisis. the problem is that both boys and girls have set their sights on the “perfect” spouse, which doesn’t exist. Truth is that the majority of kids get married early. they have reasonable minds and reasonable parents.

    #1055549
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Goq, is there another yeshiva in the US with even close to as many shidduch age bochurim as BMG?

    #1055550

    Name me 5 other yeshivos with over 25 guys in shidduchim. Like it our not, bmg has become the default stop for many.

    #1055551
    BarryLS1
    Participant

    crazybrit: Believe it or not, many men do, especially if they weren’t babied their whole life and actually earn what they have.

    #1055552

    What does maturity have to do with marriage? Out has much more to do with a willingness to compromise and give in, and an easygoing nature.

    #1055553
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    I don’t think the freezer is affecting the shidduch crisis for one very simple reason. The boys coming out of the freezer now will be dating at the youngest girls who left seminary approximately seven months ago. If they would begin dating six months ago they would be dating the exact same girls. If they get engaged shortly after leaving the freezer it doesn’t affect the age gap at all. Only if it takes them five months they can begin dating the girls that are currently in seminary.

    #1055554

    It can be said the other way around. Girls don’t start dating right out of seminary, so if he stats right away, he will take last years girls, but if he waits six months, he will go for this years. The freezer thereby effectively increases the age gap by a year. (I am not saying if I think this is true, I am saying an opinion in the world.)

    #1055555
    the plumber
    Member

    Yybc

    Does that not fall under maturity?

    #1055556

    Maturity is an undefinable word. However, children who are very easygoing are more prepared for marriage than adults who are not.

    #1055557
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    n psychology, maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in.

    #1055558
    Rema711
    Member

    Can’t the boys marry when they feel the freezer burn 🙂

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