The other singles crisis!

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    Shticky Guy

    (This is a satire thread, written in the post-purim spirit):

    There are many threads and discussions about the singles shidduch crisis. This project and that scheme, initiatives offering money for younger to consider older and even to consider a partner from other circles.

    But what about the other singles crisis. You know to which one I refer – the single socks crisis, of course.

    Every sock goes into the laundry with a partner, yet each time I get some singles back. And now my closet has so many singles that I am declaring a crisis. A singles crisis. I am at my wits end.

    I appeal to all kehilla machers and do-gooders to come together for an extraordinary general meeting, endorsed by many leading rabbonim, poskim and men of the cloth, who are only too well aware of the situation (that has hit many of their communities also), to come up with ideas, incentives and plans to help ease the single socks crisis.

    We are already considering to offer money for younger singles to consider going out with older ones, and even for them to consider a partner from another color or background. (In this day and age we dare not rule this out). We must do something to avert the current catastrophe!

    It is a great darn nuisance, this sock situation, and each time I mention something about it to my wife I end up putting my foot in it or being wrong footed. I feel there is such a problem looming that I have dedicated this thread to the matzav. What alternative is there besides continually re-stocking my collection?

    Please help! I am confident that from within our close knit community we can sort this out.

    Is anyone else affected by this problem? Please share ideas and suggestions how to stop socks going it alone in the first instance and how to match them up if they do end up on their own. Thank you!


    Clip them with plastic paper clips. Or just get a bunch of the same socks for boys and wear stockings for girls.

    But why did you say it was a satire? Those responses could’ve been great….

    ED IT OR

    another singles crisis:

    downloading Jewish singles for free


    Nothing to fear.

    Lonely socks, no more!

    Contact Lucy (of I Love Lucy fame) and for the right price their Matchmakers will work tirelessly on your behalf. Socks, shoes, anything that has to be matched, as long as youre ready to put the money down in advance. Single-socks-back guarantee.

    With much written in the past attesting to the future success of this initiative, asking you to put down money in the present.

    You owe it to your lonely socks.

    Trust, my friend!


    My son when he was young had a pair of cufflinks with his name on them. After wearing them every Shabbos & Yom Tov for over 2 years, one of them, once got lost when playing.

    He was so upset, that the following time I was in Meah Shearim, I got smart, and ordered 2 pairs (4 pieces) of identical cufflinks, so even if he were to again loose a cufflink even twice, he would still have the matching cufflink.

    This overcame the singles crisis, of-course coupled with Murphy’s law, that because of the 2nd pair, he has not lost even one from the first pair, in several years.

    Shticky Guy

    Cuff links, downloading singles both very cute. What else could be considered a single crisis?

    We do clip the socks together but it is not fool proof. And this fool is proof of that.

    Another single crisis (one that ‘always runs with scissors fast’ would for sure approve of!) is the one my mother had after baking some of her delicious home made cookies. She warned us not to eat any then went out for a while. On her return she saw that yours truly had taken bites out of too many of them with the explanation that she had said that I was not to eat a SINGLE cookie…


    “What else could be considered a single crisis?”

    Gloves. Did you ever lose a glove and keep the single glove in the closet, as if the lost one will come home some how?


    Maybe this is a good place to ask. How can I exchange singles for hundreds?



    how about there is never a single pen around when you need one but the second you don’t need one anymore, there are tonz of them just lying around?

    and the other single crisis is shoes! they are never in pairs. or in the place you left them (esp kids under 10)


    Shticky just saw this thread very funny!


    LOL @ Shticky Guy!!


    A big cause of this single sock crisis, and the break up of pairs of socks, are those hand puppet missionaries.


    I “toe” tally agree shticky, this is an ongoing “pattern” !

    What can we do “two” “heel” the problem?


    in the spirit of many CR threads where any random issue is often woven into one‘s agenda and preconceived notions without much logic, I declare that the single sock crisis is completely the fault of <name of a group you are not affiliated with*>

    *some suggestions: the chasidim, the yeshivish, the MO, kollelniks, anti-kollelniks, brooklynites, out of towners, the rich, the poor, the middle class, the CR posters, the CR lurkers, the trolls, Popa etc.

    (Sorry Popa, I just couldn’t resist).

    Shticky Guy

    Thanks guys. MDG lol. Kapusta I have hundreds of singles so now what do I do???

    Maybe now someone has serious eitzos for me…

    (Its getting embarrassing. Someone told me that I was wearing odd socks. I told them it cant be – I have a pair exactly the same at home!)


    Lol, SG!


    Shticky Guy

    Oh this must be the worst singles crisis ever: coming to the end of a 1000 piece jigsaw and finding that there is a single piece missing…

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