Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › The Rabbi and the priestly priest
- This topic has 16 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by Gadolhadorah.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 27, 2023 11:57 pm at 11:57 pm #2220001RebYid613Participant
Any jokes about rabbis and priests?
A rabbi and a priest were discussing their plans for the upcoming holiday season. The priest asked the rabbi, “What do you do during the month of Elul to prepare for Rosh Hashanah?”The rabbi replied, “Well, during Elul, we engage in introspection, repentance, and self-improvement. It’s a time for deep reflection and seeking forgiveness.”
The priest nodded and said, “That’s interesting! During the same time, we clean and decorate our church, rehearse hymns, and get ready for the congregation.”
The rabbi smiled and added, “Ah, I see. So, you could say you’re preparing for the ‘High Notes’ of the year, while we’re preparing for the ‘High Holy Days’!”
Not funny.
August 28, 2023 11:03 am at 11:03 am #2220445e.tovaParticipantIt doesn’t make sense either. There is no Christian “chag” around Elul time. What would they be preparing for anyway?
August 28, 2023 11:04 am at 11:04 am #2220390cholentmitkugelParticipantA Rabbi a Priest and a Pollock met in the Sahara desert. The Rabbi asked the Priest, “what are you carrying?” I have a bag of bread. If I get hungry, I have something to eat. The Priest asked the Rabbi, “what are you carrying?” I have a jug of water. If I get thirsty I have something to drink. They both look at the Pollock. He is shlepping a car door. They asked the Pollock, “why are you shlepping a car door through this desert?” Well, if it gets too hot, I can always roll down the window!
August 28, 2023 12:48 pm at 12:48 pm #2220468yeshivaguy45Participantcholentmitkugel, that’s a spinoff of a joke on 3 people, not a rabbi, priest and someone from poland.
August 28, 2023 2:13 pm at 2:13 pm #2220514Menachem ShmeiParticipantCholent,
Never heard that one!
Gave me a good laugh 😆August 28, 2023 2:13 pm at 2:13 pm #2220534KuvultParticipantA priest asks a Rabbi, “How come you don’t eat ham?”
The Rabbi answers, “It’s against my religion. How come you don’t date girls?”
The priest says, “It’s against my religion.”
& the Rabbi says, “You should try it. It’s better than ham.”August 29, 2023 12:55 pm at 12:55 pm #2220912GoldilocksParticipantKuvult: how would the Rabbi know which one is better?
August 29, 2023 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #2220956nishtdayngesheftParticipantHolding,
Maybe he’s tried shibuta.
August 29, 2023 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #2221040KuvultParticipantGoldilocks,
He went through a rough patch as a Bochur & having lost control he went into a restaurant & ordered an entire pig.
Just as it was served his R’Y walked by & saw what was going on.
His Rosh said, “What’s going on?”
The Bochur pointed to the pigs mouth & said, “Rebbe, this is the most amazing restaurant. You order an apple & this is how they serve it.”August 30, 2023 12:52 am at 12:52 am #2221131AshifromrocklandParticipantA Rabbi in Priest we’re both asked what would you want to sit at your funeral?
The priest replies, I want them to see how honest I was
The Rabbi answers I want them to say, LOOK HE’S MOVING!!!!!August 30, 2023 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #2221406KuvultParticipantA French Catholic Priest, a German Lutheran Minister & a Rabbi were lost in the desert.
The Priest said, “I’m so thirsty I must have wine.”
The Minister said, “I’m so thirsty I must have a beer.”
The Rabbi said, “I’m so thirsty I must have Diabetes.”August 31, 2023 12:18 am at 12:18 am #2221494Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant> how would the Rabbi know which one is better?
from tosfos.
August 31, 2023 9:40 am at 9:40 am #2221541LostsparkParticipantCholentmitkugel, a pollock is a fish and your joke dates you.
Sincerely,
A pole.
August 31, 2023 9:56 am at 9:56 am #2221652☕️coffee addictParticipantA rabbi and a priest walk into a bar
The bartender says “what is this, a joke?”
August 31, 2023 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #2221804commonsaychelParticipant@lostpark, Pollock is the main ingredient for Kani
August 31, 2023 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #2221818DaMosheParticipantAn Imam, a Priest, and a Rabbit walk into a bar.
The Rabbit says, “Don’t look at me, I’m just a typo!”August 31, 2023 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #2221833GadolhadorahParticipantBaruch hashem today is the last day of August and those suffering from terminal (bein hazmanim) boredom will soon be back at their shtenders hokkin their chevrusahs rather than abusing the long-suffering CR tzibur.
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.