The Rabbi and the priestly priest

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  • #2220001
    RebYid613
    Participant

    Any jokes about rabbis and priests?
    A rabbi and a priest were discussing their plans for the upcoming holiday season. The priest asked the rabbi, “What do you do during the month of Elul to prepare for Rosh Hashanah?”

    The rabbi replied, “Well, during Elul, we engage in introspection, repentance, and self-improvement. It’s a time for deep reflection and seeking forgiveness.”

    The priest nodded and said, “That’s interesting! During the same time, we clean and decorate our church, rehearse hymns, and get ready for the congregation.”

    The rabbi smiled and added, “Ah, I see. So, you could say you’re preparing for the ‘High Notes’ of the year, while we’re preparing for the ‘High Holy Days’!”

    Not funny.

    #2220445
    e.tova
    Participant

    It doesn’t make sense either. There is no Christian “chag” around Elul time. What would they be preparing for anyway?

    #2220390
    cholentmitkugel
    Participant

    A Rabbi a Priest and a Pollock met in the Sahara desert. The Rabbi asked the Priest, “what are you carrying?” I have a bag of bread. If I get hungry, I have something to eat. The Priest asked the Rabbi, “what are you carrying?” I have a jug of water. If I get thirsty I have something to drink. They both look at the Pollock. He is shlepping a car door. They asked the Pollock, “why are you shlepping a car door through this desert?” Well, if it gets too hot, I can always roll down the window!

    #2220468
    yeshivaguy45
    Participant

    cholentmitkugel, that’s a spinoff of a joke on 3 people, not a rabbi, priest and someone from poland.

    #2220514
    Menachem Shmei
    Participant

    Cholent,

    Never heard that one!
    Gave me a good laugh 😆

    #2220534
    Kuvult
    Participant

    A priest asks a Rabbi, “How come you don’t eat ham?”
    The Rabbi answers, “It’s against my religion. How come you don’t date girls?”
    The priest says, “It’s against my religion.”
    & the Rabbi says, “You should try it. It’s better than ham.”

    #2220912
    Goldilocks
    Participant

    Kuvult: how would the Rabbi know which one is better?

    #2220956
    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    Holding,

    Maybe he’s tried shibuta.

    #2221040
    Kuvult
    Participant

    Goldilocks,
    He went through a rough patch as a Bochur & having lost control he went into a restaurant & ordered an entire pig.
    Just as it was served his R’Y walked by & saw what was going on.
    His Rosh said, “What’s going on?”
    The Bochur pointed to the pigs mouth & said, “Rebbe, this is the most amazing restaurant. You order an apple & this is how they serve it.”

    #2221131
    Ashifromrockland
    Participant

    A Rabbi in Priest we’re both asked what would you want to sit at your funeral?
    The priest replies, I want them to see how honest I was
    The Rabbi answers I want them to say, LOOK HE’S MOVING!!!!!

    #2221406
    Kuvult
    Participant

    A French Catholic Priest, a German Lutheran Minister & a Rabbi were lost in the desert.
    The Priest said, “I’m so thirsty I must have wine.”
    The Minister said, “I’m so thirsty I must have a beer.”
    The Rabbi said, “I’m so thirsty I must have Diabetes.”

    #2221494

    > how would the Rabbi know which one is better?

    from tosfos.

    #2221541
    Lostspark
    Participant

    Cholentmitkugel, a pollock is a fish and your joke dates you.

    Sincerely,

    A pole.

    #2221652
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar

    The bartender says “what is this, a joke?”

    #2221804
    commonsaychel
    Participant

    @lostpark, Pollock is the main ingredient for Kani

    #2221818
    DaMoshe
    Participant

    An Imam, a Priest, and a Rabbit walk into a bar.
    The Rabbit says, “Don’t look at me, I’m just a typo!”

    #2221833
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Baruch hashem today is the last day of August and those suffering from terminal (bein hazmanim) boredom will soon be back at their shtenders hokkin their chevrusahs rather than abusing the long-suffering CR tzibur.

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