The REAL Solution to the Crisis

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    After little thought, while stewing over some Babker, I figured out the real problem. There are too many good girls around, the ones who are skinny and went to the good sems. If this crisis will ever come to an end we will have to practice affirmative action. I propose that we create a rating scale for the seminaries and a list of positive attributes, and accord the spots in the good seminaries to those with undesirable traits. So for example: A fat girl whose father is in jail would go to 10.0 rated seminary while a skinny girl would get relegated to a 3.4 or under. A skinny girl who smoked would be sent to college. This will equalize the field for all contenders to the point where finding your shidduch would be decided by whether your sisters and her sisters already own the same color dresses. This will also save money (not only on dresses but also) on shidduch fees. This money could then be used to genetically engineer women to give birth to more boys than girls.

    Bar Shattya

    Oh how shrewd, shrewd, shrewd. This is indeed genius. The Heir to the Shattya Dynasty would give you his ring for you to be viceroy over the people and effectuate this plan. Your years in jail have done you well.


    Doesn’t a skinny girl who smokes rank higher than stam a skinny girl? Actually, she should rank above than the fat daughter-of-a-miscreant, too! Don’t let the smoking girls fall through the cracks!


    Smoking what?


    Oh no. A smoking girl is clearly easier to get married of as she cannot possibly object to smoking boy. Why she should go to jail, that’ll teach her a lesson about equality

    Ken Zayn

    A Sheep without a Spleen – Welcome back! What an innovative idea!! Keep posting please. BTW I always meant to ask you, when you cant fall asleep at night what do you count?? (Please dont answer sheep with spleens…)


    ” whose father is in jail “

    You say this, like its a bad thing.

    I mean, its not like he commited a blue collar crime. Anyone can make a paperwork mistake. Or fail to declare a few hundred (millon) dollars.

    Give a guy a (jail)break!


    Smoking what?

    Whatever A Sheep without a Spleen is smoking 🙂 Hallucinogenic, strong stuff.


    And as long as we are working with a sliding scale (no pun intended) I suggest this as a “weight” barometer:

    If your hips / shoulders are wider than your waistline, you can deduct 10 lbs from your actual scale weight. That will give credit where its due to the young ladies that are athleticly inclined.

    After all, anyone can be a size 2 if they starve themselves. What we need to start seeing (and rewarding) are people that enjoy a healthy, fun life.


    “If your hips / shoulders are wider than your waistline,”

    Looks like we have been focusing on the wrong middos all along. Thanks for the clarification.


    What’s wrong with Chazal’s idea? They should marry Frei boys and make them Frum!


    We need to make it assur to even ASK about a girl’s dress size. This type of chitzonius is so contrary to Torah. If she is presentable looking, what difference does the number of her dress make? I have seen attractive overweight girls and extremely unattractive size twos (who think they are gorgeous, but look like they are hungry all tghe time). I ahve also seen the skinniest girls become horribly overweight after a few kids, and vice versa for the formerly more generously endowed. The bottom line – we should ALL take care of our health, and be less focused on what the scale says.


    ” Thanks for the clarification. “

    For the record, I have a similar guideline for men as well.

    There is no reason we as a society should make demands of women, without setting standards for men as well.

    Queen Bee

    bpt, I like your thinking!

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