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What is the point of someone daving if only Hashem knows whats best for us? I can be daving for a certain thing that i really want but in reality hashem knows its bad “so he says” no and i keep begging hashem and finally hashem gives me that thing even thought its bad.
So basically i just made a bad thing happen to me.
So why don’t i just sit back and whatever is the best for me hashem will make happen?
You need to daven to Hashem to do what’s best for you. Who said Hashem will give you what’s best if you don’t ask him to? Hashem might decide you don’t deserve what’s best and therefore give you something that isn’t the best. You don’t have to daven for something specific. You can simply daven “Hashem, please give me what’s best for me.”
Because davening to Hashem is like talking to the one you love – you need to keep up the relationship.
And usually, Hashem does want to give us what we want, and He wants to be kind to us, and davening can make good things happen faster than they would otherwise.
But davening is not about what you get, it’s the connection to Hashem.
Imagine if the only conversation you had with your spouse was, “Could you please take out the garbage? Could you please make a lot of money? Could you please discipline the 6 year old?”
And you never just enjoyed being with your spouse and talking about your life. Isn’t that the wrong way to approach it?
“You need to daven to Hashem to do what’s best for you. Who said Hashem will give you what’s best if you don’t ask him to?”
R’ Akiva: kol ma d’ovid rachmana l’tav avid
In a kuntreis on t’filla from R’ Yonassan Ebber (I think that’s his name) he quotes many as saying that the purpose of t’fillah is to remind ourselves that everything comes from hashem and that we need him to provide our needs.
I love your question, Style!
Like several others have already posted, the purpose in tefilla is more about developing a relationship with Hashem than convincing Him to change His plans for you.
But that’s not to say that our davening to Hashem doesn’t affect things- after we daven, we are on a higher madreiga than we were on before, and so we may not need as many nisyonos.
Once wrote about it before (maybe one of my previous s/n)
Davening, Tefilah is all about connection. ???”? ????? ?????? ?? ??????, He is awaiting their (our) connection. Sometimes towards that goal, He send us some incentive, r”l a mishap, misfortune, discomfort r”l to be able to Daven to Him sincerely and devotedly.
But a truly wise person sees it merely as an incentive, after the crisis r”l or other issue has passed, he/she keeps up that measure of sincerity, devotion, attachment.
i have also heard that davening (obviously) makes you have a closer connection with HAsehm. and now that you have a closer connection to HAshem, you are a different person. therefore, what was best for you b4 you davened istnt what is now best for now that you have davened. instead, their is a diffrent thing that is best for you.
in other words, the act of teffila changes what is best for you, and therefore, by definition, what HAshem does for you.
(e.g. if tzaros were supposed to happen to you to make you closer to HAshem, or to give you a kapara, but then since you accomplished that same thing by teffila, the zaros are unnecessary)
however, this does not explain davening for others, whom are not brought closer to HAshem by your teffilos (as far as i now know)
Hey style.
There’s a parable about a little boy. Every week for shabbos he would come give his mother “flowerrs” that he picked, for shabbos. “Just like his tatty.” IUn reality these were weeds or little grasses he found around the neighborhood. But each week the mom (of course) would gush over how nice they are, and tank you and wtvr.
One week, the boy comes home. Throws flowers and tables and says in a really grouchy voice “Here’s your flowers” As if he was forced to give them to his mom. His mom procceeded to throw them away. “If you don’t want to give them to me, so don’t. I don’t need flowers. You need the good feelings you get when you give them to me”
HASHEM is the mom, we are the boy. Hashem doesnt need our tefillos or mitxvos. We need to do them, to lead fuffiling lives. We need to daven and make a connection so we can lead normal, proper, humanitary lives, so we know what’s right and wrong.
Your davening, doesn’t matter whaty you ask for is more of a relashenship. Think of him as your friend. She can’t fix your problems, but you vent to her, she comforts you. Hashem does that anjd more. Just vent. Say “I was annoyed when _____ happened. Why? But I know you love me…” tell him about your day and your life. It may sound silly at first, like “C’mon, Hashem knows my life” but oonce you start you get hooked. It’s like chatting with a friend…
You might want to reflect on the fact that the word “To pray” (l’hispallel) is in the binyan hispael — reflexive.
The Wolf
?? ??? ???? ????? ?? ??
You Daven earnestly and Hashem listens. ??? ??? ??????? ????. Certainly there are certain things that aren’t good for you. Do you think Hashem will punish you for Davenning by giving you what isn’t good for you? Obviously, your Tefillah will be put away for another time and it won’t be granted. But this is not the case for most things. Most things you Daven for were simply waiting for you to Daven for them.
Where it comes into play is that you shouldn’t press on when you see it isn’t being granted. You can ask again and again but not by pushing. Chazal teach that we learn from ?????? that we can keep on asking. Yet still, they tell us not to press.
Now, most important of all, while the reason Hashem created the situation that we must ask to get is indeed to be able to connect to Him, to be eating from His table, the immediate reason we are asking is in order to get. The more you will be ??????? ???? the more you will see ???? ?’ ??? ??????.
People spend most of their Tefillos on those things of which Chazal say ??? ?????? ???? ??? ????? and then wonder why they don’t get answered. We should learn to be ???? ?????, to express what you need and why and how you will use it.
As I and many acquaintances who’ve paid attention have seen, Hashem listens to our Tefillos. Most requests from a child to his father can be met but not if it is either dangerous or too big. But even when it is too big of a request, a good enough child might be able to get his way.
???? ??? ??
??? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ?????? ???? ????? ??? ????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??????? ???? ????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ?? ???? ??? ????? ?????? ???? ??? ??? ?????
Three things depend on Mazal (fate) rather than merit: life, children and Parnassa. Rabbah and Rav Chisda were both compete Tzaddikim, when either of them prayed for rain they were instantly answered. And yet, Rav Chisda lived 90 years while Rabba lived 40.
HaLeivi. There were times people changed their fate through tefillah. Noach gave 70 of his years to dovid hamelech.
Style: Okay, try explaining what I just wrote, to a little kid.
Exactly. This is what we tell little kids to grasp the idea, since we are technically talking/asking hashem for certain things. oF COURSE WHAT WE WANT IS THE BEST!! But njust cuz we ask/talk about something doesn’t mean we want it. So many times we say “Ugh, I wish I didn’t have a little sister” or other things. Same here. It’s not a baksha, it’s you voicing your whims to hashem and he is saying ” I get how you feel. It’s hard, but I like your tefilos. Daven more, but it won’t change”
When you daven, you are talking. Not expecting change
You mean Adam Harishon. That has nothing to do with Tefillah, actually. He asked if there is such a thing as presents in heaven and when told that there is he donated 70 of his own years.
Anyhow, I added the part about a good enough child exactly for this reason. There is such a thing as changing Mazal but it is very hard and won’t always work. Hashem told Rav Elazar that the only way to change his Mazal would be to redo the world and then to see how it turns out. Understand that passage how you want but Mazal is very powerful.
Not always does lack of any of those three mean it is against your Mazal and it sure pays to Daven for them and to enlist the blessings of holy and righteous people.
The point is to keep in mind that such Bakashos have a different status. When asking for these, if ?”? it is not granted, keep in mind that you were told beforehand of the chances of not being answered. This should not discourage anyone from asking and Davenning for all his needs. The Emuna that Hashem is listening and will answer actually helps, especially if it is a Ruchnius issue.
The Gemara says that you should be very explicit when you ask for something. To prove this point, the Gemara relates how a person traveling in the dessert asked for a donkey, though he didn’t say he wanted it to ride on. Soon after, a group of bandits met up with him and forced him to carry their newborn donkey on shoulders.
Hashem is not your secretary or your banker. Again the Mashal of a child asking from his father comes to mind. If he says, give me this and that the father is less likely to give it. When he speaks with his father about how he needs something and why it is beneficial that he has it, the father will very likely relent. Besides for the fact that he explained his need and his father agrees, there is another issue. The fact that it was discussed makes this give and take a relationship. This deserves a response.
We can also learn from the story of the man in the dessert that Hashem wants to answer every Tefilla. When the person is not deserving and He can get away with answering the literal words, Hashem will rather do that than ignore it.
And, to say that you Daven just for the exercise of speaking to Hashem and you aren’t expecting change, is to not believe in Tefilla. For some reason every discussion of Tefilla turns into something about ‘no’ also being an answer. While it is nice and important to realize that we can’t twist Hashem’s arm, that is not the core of Tefilla. Hashem does listen, He does answer, He is ??? ??? ?????, and He answers Tefillos in the real sense of the word.
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