The Right One
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- This topic has 55 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 8 months ago by mazca.
October 12, 2009 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #662066
bein_hasdorim said It should be disscussed w/ an experienced mentor. Also talking with a “real” close friend that is 100% impartial, might help put thing in perspective.
I totally agree with this, but would add that your experienced mentor or friend should be a happily married person or a Rav or Rebbitzin. Another single person can not give you the proper perspective on what they themselves have not experienced. And if the person is divorced or not happily married, they will possibly give you a skewed perspective on marriage.
But it is important to have a person to be able to listen to you and to give you proper advice.October 14, 2009 1:13 am at 1:13 am #662067LAerMember
As for hearing bells… someone once quoted a very wise person: “If you’re seeing stars, all that that means is that it’s dark outside.”October 14, 2009 6:39 am at 6:39 am #662068mazcaMember
Well NY MOM I totally disagreed with the idea that if a person is divorced would give the wrong advice on the contrary a person that is divorced like myself wants people to be happy and give them the right advice, divorce is not something a person wants sometimes circumstances in life make a person take that decision, I wish I never had to ask for a get and be alone, believe me it is not fun, but at the same time I wish everybody a happy marriage and give advice from my heart so people should never have to go through a divorce, and Hashem should guide all Am Ysrael to the right zibug.October 14, 2009 12:23 pm at 12:23 pm #662069
Mazca – I’m sorry to hear that you are divorced. I have a close relative who is divorced and it is not easy and very sad, especially for the children. And you sound like someone who’s got her “head on straight”, as they say.
However, I know of a case where a divorcee was giving advice to a friend’s wife and she almost caused a divorce between them. And they have a small child! They were actually at the Rav to get the get, but the Rav insisted they try again. B”H for that Rav and B”H they worked it out, but you might be able to imagine a bitter divorcee putting his/her interpretation on things and causing strife between a husband and wife. Understand now why I said to speak to someone who is happily married?October 14, 2009 1:00 pm at 1:00 pm #662070
And mazca: Hashem should guide you to your zivug hagun, as well, and you should know only simcha from now on!October 14, 2009 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #662071mazcaMember
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