The thing which shouldn’t be said

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  • This topic has 14 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by ujm.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • #1944649
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I know of a few people who have gotten divorced or are in the process of getting divorced

    What do you think is the reason for it?

    #1944769
    takahmamash
    Participant

    Why don’t you ask the few people you know who have gotten divorced or are in the process?

    #1944775
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    The TOC in the main screen looks impressive:

    “The thing which shouldn’t be said by coffee addict”

    !!

    #1944803
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    I know a lot of people who have gotten divorced and some who are getting divorced and a few who are planning to divorce,

    BUT, I have been a Family Law Attorney for decades and it’s part of how I make a living.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    My question for COFFEE ADDICT is are you asking why a few people are getting or have been divorced or why you have come to know about it?

    The whys usually boil down to: money, incompatibility, familial interference (especially among younger couples) and infidelity.

    Why you have come to know about it: There is less social stigma and shame in divorce than even 25 years ago and people don’t try to hide it from their friends and acquaintances.

    #1944795
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Takahmamash

    Because they don’t know themselves (they’re on the receiving side of it and their spouse just picks up and leaves)

    #1944868
    ujm
    Participant

    I know of a few people who have gotten divorced or are in the process of getting divorced

    What do you think is the reason for it?

    The reasons are the following…

    By the first couple he likes chocolate whereas she likes vanilla. Their food incompatibilities are irreconcilable.

    By the second couple he’s a night owl whereas she’s an early bird. As such, they hardly ever talk to each other.

    By the third couple he’s a city slicker whereas she’s a country girl. It was a bad match from the getgo.

    #1944870
    ujm
    Participant

    Because they don’t know themselves (they’re on the receiving side of it and their spouse just picks up and leaves)

    Then he should say no to the request to divorce. He doesn’t have to agree. They remain married unless they mutually agree otherwise. If there’s no legally recognized actionable basis to demand a divorce she has no grounds to receive it. (Note to CTL: we’re discussing Jewish Law not secular law.)

    #1944875
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Because you’re in marriage to give, not “get”.

    #1944961
    Mammele
    Participant

    CA: I don’t know if this is the reason in the cases you know (and probably not or you would have mentioned something about it) but rumor in my Heimishe circles is that the COVID lock-down last year was the cause of many fresh newlyweds divorcing.

    Not because they didn’t get a fancy wedding, but living together with someone new 24/7 made some faults all too obvious. Add to that moodiness from being cooped up, watching ones’s spouse wasting so much time, get up late etc. was unfortunately a disaster for many relationships.

    #1944962
    DovidBT
    Participant

    If it weren’t supposed to be discussed, there wouldn’t be a whole Talmud tractate about it.

    #1944971
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Mammele

    I’ve heard that reason

    However these people have been married for years

    I do think that Covid had a hand with it though (your reason doesn’t have to apply just to newlyweds)

    #1944972
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    My main point is, the point of marriage is to help you grow as a person it just seems to me that people are running away from their problems and not trying to grow

    #1944997
    Toi
    Participant

    Because she can’t cook. If she can’t cook, she’s out.

    #1945007
    smerel
    Participant

    Why are they getting divorced?

    Because they had Shalom Bayis problems

    Why did they have Shalom Bayis problems?

    There could be literally hundreds of reasons. No way I can speculate on it even with knowing the people involved. Let alone without.

    #1945011
    ujm
    Participant

    America has created (and exported) a disposable culture. In the past people would fix what they have. Nowadays, if something doesn’t work as expected people have been trained to throw it out and get something new.

    This has transferred over into marriages.

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