The Yetzer Hara of Bitul Zman – Online – Internet Addiction?
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- This topic has 46 replies, 22 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by ☕️coffee addict.
December 4, 2008 9:34 am at 9:34 am #588803dveykus613Participant
I have been feeling more & more (since obsessively checking YWN since the mumbai attack and not able to stop) that the Yetzer Hara’s latest tactic is to get us to waste time (not even from torah – I’m a woman, but even tefilla, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands…) between emails, checking news, and posting on threads etc…
The gedolim originally said internet was not good, then conceded “for work”, with whatever filters and the like possible, etc…but I don’t think I’m alone in, needing it for work, and even having a filter, that now I end up using it for everything else too (email, news, online banking, etc etc).
I feel like now I don’t use the internet for anything “treif” but having very few hours not tending to kids and housework as it is, I end up eating up hours online with “kosher” emails, news, and the like – and not accomplishing even a sliver or what I need to in other “real life” tasks. I also really feel like it’s the Yetzer Hara trying to “disable” me – I guess I should take it as a compliment as he/it must really be “ma’arich” my actions if he/it doesn’t let me out of it’s grip to let me start accomplishing anything, even supposedly “mundane” stuff!
Does anyone else of the heilige yidden on here feel like I do? I don’t know what to do about it (I tell myself daily just don’t start with the computer and end up giving in to “just email and headlines” and then end up on the comp 4 hours)!!
I feel like this is the Yetzer Hara’s newest disguised tactic. Maybe in this forum people we can give support to eachother and come up with eitzos (advice) to battle this yetzer hara??? This is one war I think we should start ASAP…maybe if we deal with it appropriately and get to accomplishing, our maasim will be able to bring mashiach, finally be”h – I think the victory would be HUGE in shamayim…
P.S. – this is in NO WAY c”v putting down YWN – I think giving a kosher forum for news updates etc is extremely important for those of us who have to have internet, and I thank YWN tremendously…my issue is just dealing with the bitul zman and our lack of functioning in life with the computer eating up so much of our time in this world….December 4, 2008 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #1076941squeakParticipant
But I guess it is in a way putting down the Coffee Room…..December 4, 2008 7:26 pm at 7:26 pm #1076942
Oh My! You are totally speaking for me! I feel good knowing I’m not the only one, but don’t worry I still know it’s wrong!
Of course it’s not YWN’s responsibility to battle our nisyanos but your thread made me think that maybe they should have certain times of day that all the new posts (at least in the coffee room) get added.
Let’s say at 9 am, they post all the comments that were added since the end of the work day the night before and then again at 1 pm for all the morning posts and then at 5 pm for all the afternoon posts. I guess they could add one in at 10 pm or something like that. The down side is that there will be less back and forth but it would be better in a way because we won’t have to keep checking every ten minutes. We’ll know that once it’s updated it will get updated again only in a few hours…December 4, 2008 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #1076943amichaiParticipant
A person needs structure upto a certain point. I’m not speaking of mother’s with young children, where things can just pop up without warning. If a person knows he davens in the morning, and says his tehillim for the day, or learns 2 halochos shmiras haloshon, he can allow himself a bit of time at the computer.All bad habits need to be curbed,even excercise and chessed can keep a woman away from her family when they really need her. I’m of course talking about Very extreme cases. the name of the game is everything in moderation. Give yourself a time limit and try to stick to it. hatzlocha rabba!December 5, 2008 12:46 am at 12:46 am #1076944SJSinNYCMember
I understand the addiction – and its a tough one! I would say harder than the “big” addictions because those are much more obvious.
If you are really having trouble controlling yourself, and dont need the computer (for work or anything) – I would give it up.
First though, set realistic time limits for yourself. Lets say 30 minutes twice a day? Then get a timer out, and set it for 30 minutes. When its up, its up. If you really want to do this but dont have the strength and have windows Vista, you can program it to do it for you.December 5, 2008 12:51 am at 12:51 am #1076945chaimssParticipant
No, I don’t think so, the coffee room has its good points too, but I think Dveykus is making a good point. Many things can be kosher, but still not good in mass quantities, namely food 🙂 Seriously, though, there are certain things that just kind of go too far. Having three or four “posting times,” for instance, would make conversation extremely annoying, not just from a back-and-forth standpoint, but you’d have people replying to the same comment without seeing the next persons, a case that couldn’t work.
Anyway, we have to use our judgment- for example, set a timer. If you’re structured enough, that should work.December 5, 2008 1:08 am at 1:08 am #1076946dont have internetMember
i agree i think this thread will become very popular and just worsen that tachlis of it…..i dont agree they should add only a few times a day bec thats boring and its not like the internet its just a little faster then a newspaper—maybe im saying that bec im at work all day so i dont go online till night so its not such a big nisayon for meDecember 5, 2008 2:57 am at 2:57 am #1076947
gotta keep us addicts entertained 24-6!!!!!!!!December 5, 2008 7:58 am at 7:58 am #1076948BogenParticipant
Isn’t the whole idea of the CR itself bitul zman?December 5, 2008 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #1076949tzippiMember
asdfghjkl: 24/5, 23/1December 5, 2008 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #1076950aziParticipant
I was just completing a internet addiction program and pretty successfully i might add, until the Coffee Room opened, now I cant sleep, eat, learn or daven because i cant leave this forum. Thank you Yeshiva World!December 7, 2008 12:56 am at 12:56 am #1076951
i totally sympathize with you, i suffer with the addiction just like you!!! get yourself a sponsor!!! will hill is my sponsor–maybe he has some spare time to be your sponsor too!! good luck!!December 7, 2008 1:54 am at 1:54 am #1076952
tzippi – never heard that before in my life. good one, though!December 7, 2008 1:56 am at 1:56 am #1076953HaQerMember
tzippi said: 2/5, 23/1.
I agree that YW and the (kosher) internet in general is extremely addictive and time-wasting. When sitting down to the computer, try opening notepad (or something similar, I recommend notepad because it doesn’t slow down the computer as much as MSWord) and make a list of things that you would like to accomplish and how long you would like to spend on each and how much time you want to spend all together. Then comes the hard part, sticking to it!December 7, 2008 3:51 am at 3:51 am #1076954
Dveykus613: You are describing me to a T. Sometimes online banking and ordering things from websites rather that going to the stores SAVES time. But overall…. too many hours are spent online…. and the house is falling apart.December 7, 2008 4:38 am at 4:38 am #1076955
Any good news to follow-up from your issue presented in the Random Questions thread? (Surely this IS tachlis.)December 7, 2008 4:52 am at 4:52 am #1076956
make time limits. ex: i only go on at night. so it seems like i have no life because every morning my name is by almost every post as “last poster” but really, i just post on them at night all at once 🙂December 7, 2008 5:37 am at 5:37 am #1076957HaQerMember
I just figured out what tzippi meant, 24/5 23/1 because 24/6 is not completely accurate because Shabbos is 25 hours!December 7, 2008 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #1076958
Bais Yaakov maydel,
If you had a job that causes you to be in front of the computer for hours… would be a bit different.
Where are you during the day? in BY?December 8, 2008 3:20 am at 3:20 am #1076959ujmParticipant
Truthfully, this cr should be shut down. It would increase productivity, and Limud Torah.December 8, 2008 4:02 am at 4:02 am #1076960
wow HaQer brilliant! it’s good to know the general public keeps shabbos 🙂December 8, 2008 4:39 am at 4:39 am #1076961
intellegent: you got it 🙂
HaQer: i thought that tzippi meant the 23/1 part to be funny i.e. we post 23 hours a day and sleep for the 24th hour to revive ourselves for the next posting-dayDecember 8, 2008 5:13 am at 5:13 am #1076962ujmParticipant
What is a “sponsor”? And what does your sponsor do?December 8, 2008 5:31 am at 5:31 am #1076963
my mentor, like go to person when i struggle with my addiction of the coffee room, in short tells me to stay away from the coffee room. we kinda lost touch me & my sponsor…..December 8, 2008 5:40 am at 5:40 am #1076964Will HillParticipant
asdfghjkl, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, but you seemed to be behaving yourself 🙂
But if you insist that I crack down…December 8, 2008 5:44 am at 5:44 am #1076965
hey will hill!!! great to see you didn’t forget about me!!! thnx!!! have a good one!!!December 8, 2008 12:44 pm at 12:44 pm #1076966
Don’t you have HOMEWORK!?! 😮December 9, 2008 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1076967jewishfeminist02Member
Hmmm…if you’re really worried about bitul zman, it seems that this is the wrong place to discuss it. If your issue is that you spend an inordinate amount of time on “kosher” websites, then certainly this is a “kosher” website and a “kosher” thread since the suggestions here will help you “quit” your “addiction.” But by going online to check the thread, you will be adding to your Internet time and thus to your bitul zman…so if this is really an issue for you, I advise you to take it elsewhere!December 9, 2008 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #1076968yashrus20Member
For me its not addictive cuz the only reason im on is for YWN and i dont consider this b’geder internet, b/c its not shmutz or futile. I can understand why BY girls go on here, b/c its a way for them to express there thoughts on impotant matters (to get in on yeshivish hock where most of the time its only talked about amongst guys). But for me and other bochim YWN is pure entertainment (but not futile entertainment cuz theres alot to gain). 🙂December 9, 2008 11:58 pm at 11:58 pm #1076969
yashrus20 you put it perfectly. but it is also a “kosher” form of entertainment for BY girls.
intellegent: im LOL.
Baruch Hashem, I can multi-task. good practice for the future iyH. 🙂
of course, there are times when i neglect to do my “homework”–i feel like a 2yr old lol.
and of course, the repercussions are pretty bad cuz i pretty much only post at night…and im usually up late just posting…and i wake up at 6:20…so it gets to the point where some nights i have to exercise extraordinary restraint…hasnt happened yet though.
but i would like to announce with gratitude to Hashem (sounds like an invitation lol)
that BECAUSE i am on YWN at late hours, i was up 2 nights ago when a fire burned down a good portion of our home. i really believe that Hashem introduced me to YWN just 2-3 weeks ago for this purpose. Hashem is always mashgiach aleinu, sometimes we see it and sometimes we dont.
and now i can announce that i dont think this is bitul zman. i gain tremendously and get to post my opinions on matters where i otherwise would have not had the same chance, as yashrus20 mentioned, and hopefully others gain from it.December 10, 2008 12:42 am at 12:42 am #1076970
you kidding? of course it’s bittul z’man! not saying you can’t gain from it. but honestly. What a waste of time!
i’m not preaching anything cuz as you can clearly see, i’m right here. and i try to practice what i preach. (i also try not to preach so i don’t have to practice…:-))just stating what i think!December 10, 2008 2:44 am at 2:44 am #1076971
BYM: fire?December 10, 2008 3:29 am at 3:29 am #1076972
different for everyone, maybe i just gain and you dont, i dont mean that in a mean way, but maybe some people go on just to have fun, and some other people go on for other reasons, like gaining. in what way, thats different for every person as well. its subjective.
joseph: yes, there was a fire 2 nights ago in my house. Baruch Hashem, everyone got out OK, as i mentioned before i was up that late because of YWN CR. it was pretty scary, theres a lot of damage, but as i said, Baruch Hashem. it could have been worse.December 10, 2008 3:58 am at 3:58 am #1076973
BYM: Baruch Hashem!December 10, 2008 4:38 am at 4:38 am #1076974
Joseph: I’m so impressed that you remembered my random question!!!!! It’s very heartwarming to see that another Yid actually listens and cares. I’m sorry it took so long to reply. I’ve been refreshingly away from the computer for a while.
Unfortunately we are still stuck in the same situation with no progress (yet!). Perhaps I should have been more specific that #1: we are looking for a Yeshiva Gedolah (not mesivta) and #2: If we’re talking Brooklyn, we’re talking a place that has dorm facilities. The few “combination” yeshivas that we found (like Veyelipol… Tal Torah… Noveminsk) were on too high a level. The other yeshivas that we looked into were either too litvish or too chassidish or too modernish…Ideally we prefer a small yeshiva. He still needs a bit of hadracha. When yeshivas hear that he is at home and not learning anywhere they immediatly assume that something is wrong and turn us away. There is nothing wrong with him. He’s the type of boy that any yeshiva would be proud of. His middos are exceptional. The only problem is that he is not a straight A student and will probably need a tutor. Does that pasul him? We are very quiet people and don’t have any “protectzia” anywhere. Then again, I remind myself that we DO have protectzia. The best one can find. And that’s, of course, Hashem. Hopefully, he will find his place soon.December 10, 2008 4:51 am at 4:51 am #1076975
yup. completely maskim. (that might be a first for you, no? lol)December 10, 2008 5:45 am at 5:45 am #1076976
queen of persia: what about Sha’ar HaTorah?December 10, 2008 5:55 am at 5:55 am #1076977
Queen: Surely. Maybe I’m totally nuts, but I think you should go with your husband and son to a Yeshiva, without any appointment, and demand to see the Rosh Yeshiva and wait there however long necessary to see him, and plead your case.December 10, 2008 5:57 am at 5:57 am #1076978
BYM: Nope, it happens all the time. Though those folks are usually more modest than the loudmouths that aren’t maskim. 🙂
I’m glad everything came out okay. Where you forced to move out, and are you by relatives? What property was lost?December 10, 2008 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #1076979
BYM: Where is Sha’ar Hatorah? Who runs it?
Joseph: That just may be the answer!December 10, 2008 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #1076980
Queen: Do it. Nothing to shame.December 10, 2008 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #1076981notpashutMember
As Yogi would say “The CR is a constuctive way to waste your time.”December 11, 2008 3:32 am at 3:32 am #1076982
Joseph, i appreciate the concern. i stayed by neighbors the first night, and after the insurance and boarding-up guys did their stuff, we were able to move back in BH. one of my brothers rooms is now non-existent, but hes in Israel so he doesnt havta see his room (or lack thereof lol). one side of the house is gonna need major repairs, some floors are water- damaged also. but as i said before, it could have been worse!
-queen: shaar haTorah is in Queens (kew garden/ k.g. hills, not sure which one), im pretty sure the Rosh Yeshivah is R’ Kalman Epstein.
one of my brothers is there now, he’s doing great, loves the teachers and the boys!December 11, 2008 3:42 am at 3:42 am #1076983
BYM, glad everything is well.December 11, 2008 4:06 am at 4:06 am #1076984
bym glad to hear as well!!!December 12, 2008 4:06 am at 4:06 am #1076985
thanks! BH!!!! (that was for you asdfghjkl)May 12, 2015 10:29 am at 10:29 am #1076986☕️coffee addictParticipant
What is a “sponsor”? And what does your sponsor do?
Posted 6 years ago #
my mentor, like go to person when i struggle with my addiction of the coffee room, in short tells me to stay away from the coffee room. we kinda lost touch me & my sponsor…..
Posted 6 years ago #
asdfghjkl, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, but you seemed to be behaving yourself 🙂
But if you insist that I crack down…
that is creepy….
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