There is an issue that really bothers me….

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  • #598924

    The girl I’m dating is not from the states. She’s a great girl, but it bothers me that she is not from the states…. I always wanted that the girl should be from the states. Otherwise she’s a great catch in all other aspects so I’m just wondering if I’ll be foolish to skip this one and go onto the next, for the next one may be from the states but not nes have all those qualities…. Help I’m really not sure what to do!!! I feel like I’m being trapped!!!!! We’ve gone out 4 times… And she’s a great girl! AND NO IT’S NOT COLD FEET!!!! I just want to be happy with whatever decision that I make and this whole nationality thing stinks…. Btw; I traveled in for this date!! I can’t sleep because of it it’s bothering me sooo much I don’t want to regret it either way…. HELP

    #802786

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    I don’t know what made Popa say that, but I’ll address the content. You would be plenty foolish to give up a good Shidduch over that.

    #802788

    smilenow
    Member

    i think the foolish thing here is that you are seeking advice on a life long decision from ywn Cr- if you think about it its truly silly.

    i hope that if you seriously need eitzah- you go and get it from someone real…

    #802789

    Bob Squappstien
    Participant

    Ask your Rav

    #802790

    mommamia22
    Participant

    Are you culturally different? Are you ashkenaz and she’s Persian, for example (some can handle the differences, others not). How different are you really? Do you easily understand eachother? I once was set up with someone Israeli who I liked. He was frum and pleasant, but sooo quiet. We spoke in Hebrew, but still he was way too reserved for me. I could not commit to someone who hardly talked. Is that the case with you, or does the conversation flow freely? I wouldn’t be too quick to throw the shidduch away. It doesn’t sound like there’s anything egregious so far. Is it just the idea that she’s foreign that bothers you or something specific?

    #802792

    collegegrad
    Member

    mcp what is your real issue here, is she culturally different, are you nervous that she will want to move back to her country and that is too far from your family or are you just simply having a hang up that you always thought you were going to end up with an American and this girl isnt.

    #802793

    kollel_wife
    Participant

    Am I wrong – in another thread he’s talking about girl showing up for the first date casual and now we’re up to fourth date?

    Over a span of two days?

    I’m not incredulous of his dating abilities, but his honesty.

    #802794

    adorable
    Participant

    Toi- well said. why would you give up a good shidduch for something so stupid. you can “teach” her all about the states and stuff that you want her to know over time. get married!

    #802795

    minyan gal
    Member

    He just posted about how scared he was to go on his date then this thread complains about how she was dressed. Yet on a third thread he says he has had 4 dates with a “non-American”. How much longer does he expect us to swallow his stories – and they seem to be pure fiction.

    Okay, MPC (oops, or is it Joseph again) – the time has come to fess up.

    #802797

    just because shes not from this country is not a reason to dump her

    BUT if she has an accent that is!!!!!!!!!

    just kidding dont really take what i said seriously

    #802798

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    I would consider it a plus if the girl had a British, Australian, or Southern accent. I love those. I’m not so into the New York accent, to be honest.

    #802799

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Hey look chayav is back

    #802800

    middlepath r u kidding those accents are the MOST annoying accents in the world. You can barely undustand whoot they ah sayin.

    and popa thanks for the welcome i havent been on in so long but im not really sure if im going to keep on commenting i find it a lil boring now that ive been gone for so long

    #802801

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    you’ll come back at least purim time. And yom “ki”purim.

    #802802

    What’s the Josef shtikle?? I believe he’s from before my time…

    #802803

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Blatant trolling.

    Mods: You know this is a troll.

    #802804

    ootinny
    Member

    i do believe that he’s lying, but c’mon it’s not even good lies!! if it were me lying, i’d say the girl’s family is not supporting him or s/t controlversial and trivial, not bec she’s from the states.. altho truth is if it’s outta town dating, they cud be going out every day. and how do u determine if one is a troll?? bec i’ve been seeing pple called trolls when i don’t think they are!!

    #802805

    Queen Bee
    Member

    British accents are really cute 🙂

    #802806

    Ootinny; I’m highly offended that you would say such a thing! I don’t know what makes you say that. I’m simply looking for advice in this Intense hardship that I’m having right now and by you commenting like that really hurts! Btw I’m not basing my life long decision based on this thread, but thanks to those of you who helped shed some light in this for me…

    #802807

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Proofs you are a troll:

    A. The question is ridiculous.

    B. You never updated us with why it bothers you, which is highly relevant.

    C. You also posted the thread about a 1st date who didn’t dress up. Then 2 days later you started this thread.

    So in conclusion, you are a troll. Welcome. And goodbye.

    #802808

    Popa bar abba; I think your just heated from some other people that are abusing/ disagreeing with you, and you are taking out your frustration on me! I think it’s best for you to go to bed! Your tired!!! Your not being your witty self, instead your being brash to everyone!! And causing quite an offense. It’s almost Elul so I think you’d better be careful!!!

    #802809

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    No, actually I was the second poster on this thread, and I called troll then. The mods deleted that post.

    #802810

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    I posted that ur IP was Australia and u denied that. You are obviously still there, perhaps going out with a girl there. Perhaps just vacationing and trolling. But personally I think you are probably not even a male at all.

    #802811

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    42: Can you reinstate my first post on this thread please?

    #802813

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    It is possible to get a foreign IP. I haven’t looked into it that much, but I have heard that there is a proxy service that does that.

    #802814

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Popa, what about your second, that explains the first?

    #802815

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Popa, what about your second, that explains the first?

    Hee hee.

    #802816

    CR 1
    Member

    i dont see why ur callin troll four dates can be in 4 days any othe rreasons?

    #802817

    observanteen
    Member

    No, his thread about trolls does.

    #802818

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Queen Bee, I totally agree. And a girl with a southern accent is simply adorable.

    #802819

    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    If it’s just that fact alone that’s bothering you, it is not an issue. I mean if there isn’t anything about her personality that bothers you, or things that you clash on because she’s from oos, then it isn’t a problem.

    Like if you could go back in time, and everything about her, the way she talks, thinks, understands what your saying, would remain the same, only you would be told she’s from your state/town, you’d be happy. then I feel It isn’t important. Sometime many oot girls have lot more to offer than local girls. They’re more openminded but frum, more accepting, less judgmental, etc.. I dont want to cont. I’m gonna get heck from our local singles. (Who are all super great too) So she doesn’t know all the local hock, so what?

    she’ll learn, or you can teach her.

    If you have nothing in common that is something else.

    Btw i’m not trying to convince you that this the one, only that if she’s great & you’re happy w/ everything about her, ruchnius,

    middos, hashkafa, gashmius, and her family are nice folks,

    where she’s from should not be a Meakev.

    Siyata Dishmaya, same Haskofah, good Middos, nice personality, nice family, stuff in common, good conversation, healthy, physically appealing to you. that all one needs.

    They do not have to be from same town, unless their location causes technical difficulties, then you have to as a Sheilah.

    btw, there’s nothing like a rrrRussian accent.

    Ver you fram? My Fazer Chengineer! Che Supowart yew verrry nais!

    #802821

    Honestly speaking one of our daughter in laws is not from New York and all i can say is she’s is one of the best things that happened in our family. Recently, i told my son how he lucked out and that his wife was not a WOW but WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW…..

    Not only that,her parents are the most unmeddling and appreciative for everything we do….

    and no we did not have to fly overseas for anything like vort or wedding as they have alot of family here.

    Hatzlochah and good luck!

    P.S. She doesn’t run shopping but loves to help others.

    #802822

    “He just posted about how scared he was to go on his date then this thread complains about how she was dressed. Yet on a third thread he says he has had 4 dates with a “non-American”. How much longer does he expect us to swallow his stories – and they seem to be pure fiction.

    Okay, MPC (oops, or is it Joseph again) – the time has come to fess up.”

    EXACTLY!

    #802823

    Toi
    Participant

    the next thread is gonna be that maybe she has an ingrown toenail- one can never be sure!

    #802824

    mewho
    Participant

    ok, someone please tell me why anyone would need to post a fake ip and go through any hoops to get one.

    #802825

    rfs
    Member

    It’s possible you have a picture in your mind, “this girl has to be from flatbush, has to dress like she’s going to a wedding when she goes to the grocery store, has to has to has to”

    Maybe its time to broaden your horizons, mpc. (If this is all true…)

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