Things that people do wrong – halachically

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  • #617155

    mik5
    Participant

    Walking in front of one who is davening

    Putting on tefillin incorrectly

    Mispronouncing the name of Hashem

    Repeating words in davening

    Raising hands/ eyes to the ceiling by davening, making faces

    Leaving a sponge in the sink over Shabbos

    Speaking lashon hara

    Not making a bracha on wine or other dessert during a bread meal

    Not making a bracha achrona

    Eating less than the required amount of bread/ matza by a Shabbos or Pesach seuda.

    Not saying Amein when they are supposed to.

    Saying Amein prematurely

    Spacing out during davening

    Davening with the eyes open, looking around

    Not washing mayim achronim properly

    Not making a bracha before eating

    Not washing for bread in the right way

    Not learning enough Torah on Shabbos & yom tov

    #1135935

    Joseph
    Participant

    Mixed swimming.

    #1135936

    Joseph
    Participant

    What happened to the OP?

    #1135937

    mik5
    Participant

    Nothing happened.

    #1135938

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Some are guilty of saying that some are guilty of Lashon Hara. (and some are guilty of saying that some are guilty of saying that some are guilty of saying…)

    #1135939

    adocs
    Participant

    Spending too much time in the CR telling everybody else what they’re doing wrong.

    #1135940

    goofus
    Participant

    Bittel Torah by spending time on the Internet.

    #1135941

    mik5
    Participant

    ADOCS – Being hostile to constructive criticism is not a virtue. 🙂

    #1135942

    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    & Things that people do right?????

    #1135943

    Sam2
    Participant

    Regarding the OP:

    Walking in front of one who is davening

    R’ Shlomo Zalman was famous for saying there are cases where this is Muttar (e.g. someone is blocing an aisle)

    Raising hands/ eyes to the ceiling by davening, making faces

    Raising hands or eyes isn’t wrong per se. It’s just pointless. But if it helps with Kavanah, there’s no reason not to do it.

    Eating less than the required amount of bread/ matza by a Shabbos or Pesach seuda.

    It is really hard to have less than the B’dieved Shiurim. According to many, even the Lechatchilah Shiurim are pretty tiny.

    Davening with the eyes open, looking around

    The Kabbalistic Seforim (some quoted in the MB) have very bad things to say about this, but some contemporary Seforim have Heterim/Limmudei Zechus (I think I saw a strong one B’sheim R’ Nissim Karelitz).

    Not washing mayim achronim properly

    It is a Machlokes Achronim on how to wash Mayim Achronim. It is nearly impossible to not do it properly according to some Shittos. (Of course, it’s impossible to do it improperly according to those who hold it’s not necessary at all.)

    Not learning enough Torah on Shabbos & yom tov

    What is different than any other day?

    Also, this list seems weird. Some of them might be problems in many sections of the Frum world, but some of these just aren’t. Why didn’t you just list the whole Mishnah Berurah and be done with it?

    #1135944

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    To the op

    Your title is misleading

    It says things that people DO wrong however most of your things are what they don’t do (therefore they might not be doing it right, however they’re not doing it wrong)

    🙂

    #1135945

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    Seems like a lot of the things on the list are not definitive mistakes. Making a separate bracha on a dessert is certainly not universal if I’m understanding you correctly. The custom to have dessert after bentchen in order to get in another blessing is considered an extraneous bracha by some opinion.

    “Not washing for bread the right way.” This is an interesting one. There seems to be a large portion of the uninformed masses who have adopted (probably unknowingly) the Chabad custom to wash 3 times on each hand before bread. I still wouldn’t call this “not the right way,” but there are a lot of people unknowingly following a minhag that isn’t really their own. But, that’s a topic for a different thread.

    For an addition to the list: People waiting after eating something pareve because it was prepared on meat equipment. Also, people refraining from eating pareve foods which were prepared on dairy equipment when they’re fleishig.

    #1135946

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Shiluach haken putting back the eggs.

    (we need a little controversy

    #1135947

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant
    #1135948

    apushatayid
    Participant

    Lets up the ante. shiluach hakan, eating the eggs.

    #1135949

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    It is not so pashut that you are not supposed to repeat words in davening. Most yeshivish people take it as a given that one should not repeat words but there are places where it might be allowed. Stretching out words and chanting “ayayay” might be just as bad as repeating in some cases.

    #1135950

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    There are people who have a minhag not to make brachos on dessert altogether. I heard that some people have a mesora that the Chofetz Chaim was chozer on his psak to say a bracha.

    Others do say brachos on some desserts, depends what type of food it is. Ice cream is a shayla whether it needs a bracha so some people will make a shehakol on sugar or candy before eating ice cream.

    Some will eat bread together with the dessert to remove any need for a bracha.

    #1135951

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    Mod 42- That’s true what you said about not repeating words. I’ve been to a community in which they do so, and I just avoided it (not that I knew any of their tunes anyway).

    Anyone know how the Chofetz Chaim holds when it comes to eating fruit during a bread meal? I recently read in the kitzur shulchan aruch that one should make a before bracha on it since it’s not part of the meal.

    #1135952

    Sam2
    Participant

    Neville: I believe the MB says you do make a Bracha. I think that R’ Shlomo Zalman and many contemporary Poskim say that nowadays everything we eat during meals is considered Baim Machamas HaSeudah.

    #1135953

    Health
    Participant

    42 -“There are people who have a minhag not to make brachos on dessert altogether. I heard that some people have a mesora that the Chofetz Chaim was chozer on his psak to say a bracha.”

    I used to do that, but no one I spoke to for the last umteen years does it. Do you have a Mekor?

    “Others do say brachos on some desserts, depends what type of food it is. Ice cream is a shayla whether it needs a bracha so some people will make a shehakol on sugar or candy before eating ice cream.”

    I know a few guys who make the Brocha on ice cream out loud & then they look at you, like a Goy,if you don’t make a Brocha!

    “Some will eat bread together with the dessert to remove any need for a bracha.”

    This is what I do now – to Stop the bad Looks!

    #1135954

    mik5
    Participant

    Sam2: One should not make any unusual gestures or noises during Sh’mona Esrei such as raising one’s head, eyes or hands up to the sky, or daven loudly which can be heard by others nearby. {“Those who raise their heads and eyes up towards the sky – the Mal’achim scorn them”}.

    Shulchan Aruch with Mishna Berurah 95:2

    See what it says in the Kav Hayashar about one who davens longer than the rest of the tzibbur.

    L’chatchila, one should eat slightly more than an egg’s volume of bread by a Shabbos seuda, at least a kezayis of which should be eaten in no more than 3 minutes (l’chatchila).

    By Pesach my rav told me explicitly that most frum people are not yotzi.

    Re mayim achronim – The Chofetz Chaim says that it bothers him to see people dab a few drops of water on their fingernails, and although they intend to fulfill the mitzvah, they do not fulfill the mitzvah according to any opinion.

    Shabbos & yom tov were given to us for Torah study, not for taking walks or talking lashon hara…. During the week people are busy, but on Shabbos & yom tov there are no excuses.

    “There are people who have a minhag not to make brachos on dessert altogether.”

    Do they make a bracha on the apple on R”H night, after they washed and made hamotzi?

    Regarding repeating words in davening – there are several reasons to forbid this (hefsek, looks like you are addressing multiple deities c”v, or making fun of the davening) – but there are opinions that actually permit it, including Rav Elyashiv.

    “Some will eat bread together with the dessert to remove any need for a bracha.”

    I heard from my chavrusa, a talmid of the Mirrer Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav S. Berenbaum zatzal, that said Rosh Yeshiva would eat ice cream together with pas to avoid shailas of making a bracha.

    “Most yeshivish people take it as a given that one should not repeat words”

    Actually, it is the yeshivish people who repeat words in krias shema and take forever to say it.

    #1135955

    mik5
    Participant

    I heard from R’ Y. Mizrachi that he sees “frum” people putting on tefillin incorrectly and washing for bread incorrectly (e.g., when he eats shalosh seudos in shul). Regarding tefillin – I also see this, and regarding washing, sometimes I see it as well.

    I saw in a sefer that there was one gadol who said that a person should consider the possibility that maybe he never washed for bread correctly once in his life!

    #1135956

    mik5
    Participant

    To wash 3 times in minhag Chabad/ the Sephardic minhag/ the minhag of many people.

    #1135957

    mik5
    Participant

    “R’ Shlomo Zalman and many contemporary Poskim say that nowadays everything we eat during meals is considered Baim Machamas HaSeudah.”

    Everything? Source, please?

    #1135958

    mik5
    Participant

    Re Mayim achronim – the Gra holds that mayim achronim has the same dinim as mayim rishonim (you need to wash with a kli, with a revi’is, full hand).

    #1135959

    jewish source
    Participant

    saying good morning and good night on shabbos a Flatbush machla

    #1135960

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    saying good morning and good night on shabbos a Flatbush machla

    What is wrong with that?

    I often say “good night” to Eeees or the kids before going to bed on any day of the week (including Shabbos).

    I say good morning/afternoon/evening to someone on Shabbos if I see that they are not Jewish (If they are, I say “good Shabbos.”)

    Please provide a source (pun intended) that saying “good morning” or “good night” on Shabbos is forbidden.

    The Wolf

    #1135961

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Why is it wrong to eat eggs?

    #1135962

    mik5
    Participant

    Wolf – It is not forbidden, but the proper greeting for a Jew to say to another Jew is “Gut Shabbos” [as opposed to “Good morning” or the like.] Source: Shla Hakodesh, R’ Akiva Eiger, R’ Hutner discusses this in Pachad Yitzchak on Shabbos

    #1135963

    B1g B0y
    Participant

    Pointing out things people do wrong in public (yes the CR is considered B’rabbim)

    #1135964

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Wolf – It is not forbidden, but the proper greeting for a Jew to say to another Jew is “Gut Shabbos” [as opposed to “Good morning” or the like.] Source: Shla Hakodesh, R’ Akiva Eiger, R’ Hutner discusses this in Pachad Yitzchak on Shabbos

    Fair enough… and that is the greeting I do give to Jews. But to non-Jews, it would be inappropriate, so I say “Good morning” (or afternoon or evening, as appropriate).

    The Wolf

    #1135965

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    The Chabad hand washing is not the same as the Sephardi. Chabad does 3 on the dominant hand then 3 on the other, just like how standard Ashkenazim do with 2. Sephardim alternate from hand to hand like we do in the morning.

    Technically without the presence of water you can wash your hands with dirt, so I think it would be pretty difficult to find a way that isn’t acceptable in the minimal halachah.

    Also, with tefillin, as long as people aren’t putting them on their legs or something, they’re probably still fulfilling the mitzvah.

    #1135966

    jewish source
    Participant

    WM I am talking about at home girls between themselves its a SHANDA SHABBOS KODES

    #1135967

    Bookworm120
    Participant

    I have to daven with my eyes open, or I won’t be able to read my siddur!

    Oh well, I guess the fact that I don’t rely on memory for reciting prayers means I’m not pious enough. 😛

    #1135968

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    WM I am talking about at home girls between themselves its a SHANDA SHABBOS KODES

    One girl saying “Good morning” or “good night” to the other is a “SHANDA?”

    Really?

    Look at it this way. If your kids keep Shabbos perfectly and say “good night” to each other before going to sleep on Friday night, count your blessings that you have wonderful children.

    The Wolf

    (…and why the emphasis on girls? I don’t see how gender plays any part in this.)

    #1135969

    mik5
    Participant

    If even one spot on the hand is not covered with water, the netila is worthless.

    Re tefillin – that is nonsense. If the shel rosh is below the hairline, the mitzvah is not fulfilled.

    #1135970

    mik5
    Participant

    Wolf – It is very polite of you to greet the goyim. Keep it up! You are making a Kiddush Hashem!

    Do you greet them only on Shabbos, or on any day of the week?

    #1135971

    son
    Member

    By Pesach my rav told me explicitly that most frum people are not yotzi.

    ????? ????? Even a minimal shiur?

    he Gra holds that mayim achronim has the same dinim as mayim rishonim (you need to wash with a kli, with a revi’is, full hand).

    A matter of machlokes in shittas HaGra on the revi’is (even though it says it in Maaseh Rav)

    I saw in a sefer that there was one gadol who said that a person should consider the possibility that maybe he never washed for bread correctly once in his life!

    Source?

    #1135972

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Do you greet them only on Shabbos, or on any day of the week?

    When walking, usually only on Shabbos, as I take a more leisurely walk then. Other times, either I or the other people tend to be rushing here or there and the opportunity does not really exist. However, when it does, I do. For example, I always wish the bus driver a “good morning/evening” when I get on the bus.

    The Wolf

    #1135973

    jewish source
    Participant

    Lo yihei deburcha beshabbos kidiburcha bechol

    you do not have to like it that is the halacha shabbos is lo yom vlo layla its SHABBOS

    #1135974

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Lo yihei deburcha beshabbos kidiburcha bechol

    … and how far does that go? If I ask Eeees to pass me the salt during the week, can I no longer do so on Shabbos using those exact same words? Am I not allowed to tell her “I love you” because I do so during the week? Should I not call my kids to the table by name, since I do that during the week too?

    you do not have to like it that is the halacha shabbos is lo yom vlo layla its SHABBOS

    It’s not a halacha. It’s brought down in M”B that the Shelah says that he received a tradition this way. In other words, it’s nice and a good thing to do, but certainly not halacha to the point where one who does not do so is a machallel Shabbos.

    If you can show me where it’s an actual halacha where it says it’s absolutely forbidden to do so, I’ll consider a retraction.

    The Wolf

    #1135975

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I wish people a happy purim.

    #1135976

    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    Mik5: Re Tefillin below the hairline. I am aware of the Mishna Brura’s psak, however I also heard of a psak from a Rav in Pinsk (I can find out the name if you want) who held that rubo kekulo applies here and if most of the shel rosh is above the hairline he is yotze.

    #1135977

    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    Mik5: Re Mayim achronim, I am familiar with the Gra’s shita. The mesora among Chasidim is that a small amount of water is sufficient.

    The point is that before criticizing find out if there other shitos out there.

    #1135978

    catch yourself
    Participant

    Say the ???? of ?? ????? ???? even when washing on a piece of bread that is only a ????.

    Regarding ??????, I often see people wearing the ?? ?? in a way which is definitely not fulfilling the ????. Typically, this is because either the ??? is too low, or because the ????? is twisted (this can happen very easily – as the ????? is passed through the loop on the bicep – if you follow ???? ?????.)

    Be ???? Talmidei Chachamim and Lomdei Torah.

    #1135979

    ytejewboy
    Participant

    stop judging people

    #1135980

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Should I give you the speech about how being dan lkaf zchus actually means you should judge people?

    #1135981

    ytejewboy
    Participant

    thiss board seems pretty negative.

    #1135982

    yehudayona
    Participant

    RebYidd23 (regarding wishing people Happy Purim): One Purim, my wife wished a freilichen Purim to a young woman who was wearing funny clothes. When she reacted with puzzlement, our kids pointed out that the young woman wasn’t Jewish. In our neighborhood, if you judge by what some people wear, every day is Purim.

    #1135983

    jewish source
    Participant

    WM a video retraction is the only way Honestly I do not know if Halacha gemura and you are mechalel Shabbos. The whole halacha of vedaber dovor is not like the other 39 Melochos its a halocho that shabbos we do not talk about money how much something costs or something assur to do on shabbos and so on. So if chacomim said that shabbos is a day unique how we greet each other is important. It is just very interesting that it was always said that in BP on the street nobody says gut shabbos but FB and other communities they do even to the opposite vechulu. But at home they forget about Shabbos good morning good night. SHabbos should be in our bones you should feel shabbos the learning the eating the talking the lounging sleeping should be on a lofty level shabbos is shabbos

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