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These are some comments on the recent “mailbag” that i think are the FULL and ONLY answer to the crisis:
“I have given the matter much thought through the years, and I have come across a solution that in all seriousness should not be considered insensitive shameful: we need at least one Yid to recognize that Rabbeinu Gershom no longer applies in order to be mekadesh the bnos Yisroel left without a shidduch. We only came onto Rabbeinu Gershom when polygamy was controversial among goyim. No Yid will go to jail for polygamy today when states have legalized all abominations. We need to eliminate the stigma surrounding polygamy. I am willing to be that Yid, and I have no shame. I am ready to disregard Rabbeinu Gershom for the sake of bnos Yisroel, so they may live (through descendants) in fulfillment of mitzvas puru urvu too. I am actually 100% serious. I can solve your problem. Please be in touch.”
“100% AGREE!
Let them all come to me; i’ll support them. Just don’t get legally married.
The fact is that there are more girls in the world than boys. FACT OF NATURE.
Nature made this reality because it helps in reproducing to save the specie.
Go to La Isha, you will see the ratio of girls to boys is 100:1! FOR REAL
The Human Race was meant for polygamy – that is NATURE!
Make a statistic: count all the Mazel Tovs: there are more baby girls born in a given year than boys. Just use LKWD as boxed group for counting – it’s a fact – nothing can change that, other than polygamy, or killing most baby girls – like they do in India and China”Ad kan Lshonam
No discussion of the Shidduch Crisis is complete without mentioning Rabbi Chananya Weissman, who has written books and many articles about the Shidduch Crisis.
Just search the internet for “Chananya Weissman”, and read his free articles about the Shidduch Crisis.
Chananya Weissman is an extremist. Not just on shidduchim, but in many other topics as well.
The OP is too outlandish to bother responding to.
A perfect example of how haskalah has infiltrated the discourse of otherwise frum people.
Academics say that the cherem was because goyim had forbade it. Rabbeinu Gershom makes no mention of that. He says it’s because people can’t do it for the right reasons. It’s detrimental to bnos yisroel.
Needless to say, i don’t believe you’ll find even a handful of girls who would consider being a second wife. Even the chazakah of tav lemaysav tan du, that women would rather be with basically anyone than be alone – is “tan du”!!!! A pair. Three or four is not a pair.
It’s funny! Even funnier that all the posters missed the humor.
Square: Mr. Weissman is blockhead whose articles on this subject are all fatuous.
Avira, the Vilna Gaon wrote that his two biggest regrets in life was his failure to 1) instate saying Birchas Kohanim during the week in Chutz L’aretz and 2) end the cherem against polygamy.
Rav Avigdor Miller also said (it’s available in his voice on his tapes and is printed in one of the recent Seforim from him) that if the Gedolim today thought it necessary, they could end the cherem against polygamy.
Also, Avira, regarding your second point, if a girl was (say) 45 years old and never married despite trying hard (as so many r’l are), I think a nice number of that demographic would consider it if it were acceptable in Yiddish society.
If someone would like to disagree with Chanaya Weissman the correct way to do it would be to quote his shitos and then give a cogent argument why they are incorrect. Just calling him a blockhead says a lot about you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.
Avira > Academics say that the cherem was because goyim had forbade it. Rabbeinu Gershom makes no mention of that. He says it’s because people can’t do it for the right reasons.
I understand your instinctive reaction at goyishe chochma, but we are all social beings. And rejecting history is apikoiresus. Gemora is full of examples of how institutions developed over time:
schools – parents -> Yerushalaim -> big high-schools -> small local schools;
ketuba – prepaid sum -> in F-I-L house -> mortgage on propertysame thing here: people not doing for right reasons may correspond to the fact that non-Jews were not doing it any more. Polygamy was not very popular (R Stensaltz writes that he knows of one Amora or Tanna who had 2 wives), so these will be strange people under strange circumstances who
will use it. Given the surrounding culture, people will be even less willing to do it, so the remaining cases will be even “weirder”.Also, note that Sephardim who lived in a culture permitting it, somehow were able to continue having this option. Did they have better attitudes?
I have 6 children 4 daughters 2 sons all of them happily married with children of their own. One of my daughters didn’t get married until her mid30s so I am aware of the ” I am never going to be married crisis”.
My solution is to get involved with shidduch groups and subscribe to a database, this way you will get a listing of resumes of available boys. Get a friend or relative to act as the shaddchun and call up their shaddchan. This way you will get your daughter dates with boys who are at least trying to get married as opposed to trying to convince a boy who thinks he is to young to get married to start dating. Writing letters to YWN and waiting by the phone isn’t the solution.
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