May 26, 2011 9:33 pm at 9:33 pm #597117
There has been a lot of attention in the CR placed on Davening for people having difficulties finding their Shidduch. I would venture that it is no less important to be Mispallel for couples who have not yet been blessd with children. B”H, I do not have this problem, but I feel for these people very much. My contribution to this cause (in addition to Davening for them) was to write a “prayer” on their behalf (below). Perhaps it will resonate with people:
Master of the World, please be filled with mercy for married couples who have not yet been blessed with children;
Their eyes are turned to You, as paupers anxiously knocking at Your door
You cherish the Tefillos of the downtrodden souls and the broken hearted
Let the pain in their hearts enable their prayers to soar as pleasing Kurbanos to Your throne of glory –
So that Your endless mercy shall be evoked for them and You shall turn the tide for their salvation.
Oh King who finds favor in tears, let their tears serve as healing potions for these couples
Master of the World – For You there are no barriers to grant them the beautiful blessing of fertility
What is life, without a Shul, Yeshiva or happy birthday party to take our children to?
How can they go home to an empty house even one more time?
Please look into the hearts of those wishing for children and feel their unsoothe-able pain.
Ribbono Shel Olam, please collect the droplets of pain in their hearts
See the emptiness in their lives and their incurable yearning to be blessed with children
That is impossible without Your miraculous intervention
Spend their lives teaching Your Torah and Derech Hashem to the next generation
Ribbono Shel Olam, all the glorious wonders of the world are Your daily deeds.
Please desire to bring the wonder of fertility to all of these couples who have suffered so much
They want so ardently to pass on their love of Torah and Mitzvos to the next generation
Let them be partners with You in the miracle of creation.
Please remember these couples and visit upon them Your miraculous salvation, as You did to Soroh, Rochel and Channah.
By delivering a miracle to bring them Zarah Shel Kayama.
Behold like the glass in the hands of the blower, he forms at will and he dissolves at will
So we are in Your hands, our loving and powerful Creator, who has formed us from nothing
No more going to sleep and waking up with feelings of emptiness or pain
May their lives will become blessed – full of meaning and their houses full of joy with the sound of boisterous children
You are our living Redeemer, our fortress in times of distress, our banner and refuge, the portion in our cup on the day we cry out –
We wish to throw our very essence in front of Your Heavenly throne on behalf of childless couples –
May they be Zoche to be hold a beautiful healthy baby of their own very soon and to sing out Your praises with hearts full of Simcha,
Let the days of darkness, depression, anxiety and frustration be a memory long past.May 27, 2011 2:09 am at 2:09 am #772088yiddishemishpachaMember
This is a beautiful tefillah, wow!!!!!!!!!! I am printing it to have. Your feelings and your sincerity is so touching for me. I waited a long time to have children and know the pain intimately. It is very, very hard to deal with at times. Actually, all the time. May Your heartfelt tefillos for childless Jewish couples be answered — and they should finally hold their little ones in their arms and thank Hashem endlessly. Thank you!!!May 27, 2011 2:58 am at 2:58 am #772089
Thank you very much for the kind words. Can you please kindly write a few words to describe the pain you went through – I want to be able to feel this pain when I Daven for these couples. I imagine it is so hard when everywhere you went, you were reminded of the fact that others had children while you did not. Despite writing the prayer, I lack the sensitivity to fully understand the anguish; I would like to come to a better understanding. Also, I believe that the public would benefit by hearing what people like you went through.May 27, 2011 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #772091adorableParticipant
silent- your tefillah is heartwarming. You seem like a very deep, thought out person and that will get you very far in life. May we all find our yeshuos easily and quicklyMay 27, 2011 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #772092kakoParticipant
I went through this pain. By far the toughest thing I had gone through in my life. After seven years, B”H we were blessed with a healthy boy. While visiting a gadol in EY asking for a bracha, he said something like this:
1) H” can get you out of this situation
2) Understand that this is for your own benefit
3) Try to be happy as much as you can
There is no doubt that going through that period of time made me a better person and a better jew.May 27, 2011 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #772093
kako: The people that I know who went through this seismic Nisayon were indeed exceptional people – quite elevated spiritually – not that I would wish for anyone to obtain spiritual refinement through such a Nisayon. I once “met” a Frum couple in the waiting area of a fertility expert (I was waiting there for a different medical need) and I felt that I was way “out of my league”, i.e. that this couple was spiritually miles ahead of me for having gone through such a Nisayon, to the degree that I felt myself almost in the presence of greatness. Chas V’Shalom we should doubt Hashem’s ways, but sometimes I can’t help ask “how is it that couples who are at best mediocre parents have children “1,2,3” (without any effort) – while couples who would make wonderful parents, i.e. who are shining examples of spirituality – have to struggle so much to have children.” I feel that maybe the prayer I wrote helped me express to HKB”H my sense of sadness and frustration that I feel for these couples. I hope that this does not make me Chas V’Shalom a doubter of Hashem’s wonderful Hashgacha Pratis.
Can you please expound on item # 1 that the Gadol told you – how did you internalize this thought into your own life and how do you feel that it led to your Yeshuah? Did you feel that Hashem was with you, helping you withstand and prevail over your suffering and that He did not let you feel alone?
The wonderful song “Besayata Dishmaya” by Yerachmiel Begun has lyrics “when we need Him to help us, He’ll always come through; never will we will be alone, with His help we can stand on our own”. When I hear this song, I think of couples going through this suffering and also of singles needing their Shidduch. I just would like to acquire some of their faith and Bitachon to get through.May 29, 2011 4:29 pm at 4:29 pm #772094
We should try to feel some of this pain when we Daven for childless women. Let us give a little extra of our emotional self to this cause when we Daven. In the final analysis, through our Tefillos, we can give to this cause even more than the doctors, as per the words of the Chazon Ish ZT”L, that the person who Davens for another’s need accomplishes more (down here in THIS world) for the one in need than the person who physically is Mishtadel to help the same needy individual. Hopefully, in this Zechus, Hashem will give them the same Yeshuah as He gave to Chana.May 29, 2011 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #772095DovidMMember
I was taught that Tehillim 20 should be said for couples that are either childless, or have had one child, B’H, but want another. I was also told that it should be said for those with cancer or other life-threatening conditions.
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