to life to life . . .lchayim?

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  • #798488

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    but the S’A paskens a woman has a Chiyuv to get married for a different reason

    Location?

    #798489

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – I was waiting for you to ask that question. Why don’t you ask all those guys sitting in those “Elite” Yeshivos for the last twenty years in Kollel -perhaps they can help you? I only got 3 months of Kollel behind me. Maybe you can find a clue to where it is in the topic I started called “Who wants to be a Tzaddeikes like Rus?”!

    #798490

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Why don’t you ask all those guys sitting in those “Elite” Yeshivos for the last twenty years in Kollel -perhaps they can help you?

    Because you are the one who mentioned it. I’m just a plain old working gavra (not even in Kollel).

    #798491

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – Even Haezer -Simon Aleph (1) S.K. Yud Gimmel (13) in the Rema.

    The dissenting opinion is that of the Baar Haitiv Bshem the Radach. (Which P.T. screams at.)

    #798492

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Health: I hear, but would strongly argue that the Shidduch Crisis inherently removes Chashad (based on R’ Akiva Eiger there).

    #798493

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – I don’t understand your point or is it you don’t understand the R’ Akiva Eiger. He says in order for it not to be Chashad the women have to live in a town with All women or All sterile males.

    As far as I know, such a town doesn’t exist in the world in our day and age. If the story of Amazon women is fact not fiction, they would be able to live in an area like that!

    #798494

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Health: Because we have no good reason why they are not married, other than that they are Zonos (AKA, Chashad).

    #798495

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – “Because we have no good reason why they are not married, other than that they are Zonos (AKA, Chashad).”

    Sorry to disagree with you, but I really discussed this at length in the topic of “Who wants to be a Tzaddeikes like Rus?”. They have a Chiyuv to get married. Period. If they really can’t find s/o then they are a Onus. I had this discussion at length -at what point can they say they are not going to settle for this. I posted there that the only excuses of not settling is what the S’A paskens that they don’t have to settle for. (See S’A in Hilchos Gittin.) I also posted that age difference ISN’T an excuse, except if it’s a case of Zokein Vyalda, where the S’A advises against. Nowadays Yaldas (little girls) don’t get married, so this excuse isn’t even applicable.

    I think you are mixing two things up. I don’t think you understand what Chashad means. It means they have to get married -it’s a Gezeira -No ifs, ands or buts! If they Really can’t find anyone in the world besides those that they don’t have to marry as stated in S’A, then they are called an Onus. That doesn’t mean they can give up looking, it just means for right now they aren’t Oiver this Issur of not being married. The only time they would have a Pitur from the Gezeira of Chashad is if they lived in a town of only women or a town of only sterile men.

    #798496

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    The only time they would have a Pitur from the Gezeira of Chashad is if they lived in a town of only women or a town of only sterile men.

    You tell me. Why is there Chashad, and why does it go away if there are only women?

    #798497

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – If a woman lives by herself people might end up talking that she was Mezaneh -whether true or not. This won’t happen in a town of only women or sterile men. The Chashad is on the talking, not on any action. Because we would never be Chosed B’kesharim. We aren’t saying single women are more likely to be Mezaneh more than anyone else. But we don’t want negative talk against people -hence the Gezeira.

    #798498

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    If a woman lives by herself people might end up talking that she was Mezaneh -whether true or not.

    If she lives with others (roomies, parents, etc.) that is excluded? From the Lashon of the Rema (Ta’amod B’lo Ish), as well as the Rambam in Hilchois Issurei Biah, it would seem that is OK (certainly with a parent).

    Also, being that it is a machlokes HaPoskim, I don’t think you will find any Rov who will say a girl has to marry. (Of course, if one is the such that in general is Machmir, they can do so as well here).

    #798499

    Health
    Participant

    GAW – I knew you would argue. This Gezeira has nothing to do with whom she lives – by herself, her parents, etc. She has to get married because otherwise the Yentas will talk. This is a Gezeira on everyone, even if you locked her up in a jail with armed guards and only Bais Din has the key – “Lo Plug”. You do know what “Lo Plug” is?

    The only time the Gezeira doesn’t apply if she lives in a town of only women or sterile men!

    “Also, being that it is a machlokes HaPoskim,”

    While it’s true there is a Machlokes -there shouldn’t be any Shaila acc. to whom we Pasken.

    “I don’t think you will find any Rov who will say a girl has to marry.”

    I don’t know what Rabbonim will say, but I know what the Halacha is. The Gedorim of Halacha are we go after the Rabbim. Here in no way are the dissenters even close to a Rabbim! They are a Miyut! Esp. here- where the P’shat they learn in the S’A is a big Deechuk!

    What I posted is Gedorim in Halacha, not in P’sak. If you follow your Rov and even if his Psak is different than many more Poskim, you are still allowed to follow him!

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