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hey i know i posted this b4 but they got deleted so i realy wanna hear what you have to say..
would you marry a singer? or not? and would you let your husband/wife go out and become a singer?
I once went to a wedding & Uncle Moishy & his Mrs. were guests, too…. a beautiful couple, ka’h 🙂
why not? it’s a beautiful talant if you could sing,them go do it. i think the other half would love it. it’s definitly an easy barnasah.but……. and i mean yes alot of hard work too.
I wonder if the OP isn’t inquiring about the subject being the object of ‘hero worship’??
Hashem gives different talents to different people. You don’t marry a profession you marry a person. Think about it!
Why are they opting for this profession? Its a profession that can achieve good, or be abused. The reason for choosing it, as well as personal strength of both husband and wife must be considered
This is all in a frum culture. In a goyeshe culture, well, it just depends on the lifestyle you value. The outcome though, is obvious.
A frum person should not expect singing to be their (or their spouses) ONLY means of parnassa.
Even goyish singers who are very “in” today, with rare exception, are “out” tomorrow. Now with goyim, the short time they are “in” may be enough, because they can make millions during that time.
A frum singer though has a MUCH, MUCH smaller target audience, and even IF you are very successful and popular your income will never rival what a goyishe singer can make. Also, no matter how good or popular a singer you may be, there are always new people coming along, THEY will become the ones in demand, and your star will fade.
There are A FEW EXCEPTIONS to this rule, but you can count them on one hand, and a person would be foolish to think he will be that exception. My thought would be, if you love to sing and are good at it, GO FOR IT. Use the gift HaSh-m gave you, BUT – go to school at the same time to learn how to earn a more realistic, long-term parnassa. You don’t want to be a has-been at the age of 30 with a wife and kids and no income.
So the question is what else does he do? What is his family like? What does he have to fall back on? As I said, you don’t marry a profession you marry a person.
When i go to weddings and i see the very outgoing and sociable young, handsome, frum singer, i always wonder how secure this wife must feel in her marriage, being fine with her husband staying out late every night.. entertaining those crowds of very enthusiastic and beautifully dressed women..
s2021: What’s that all about? A frum singer shouldn’t be looking at women as far as I know.
I know two frum singers Shloimie Dachs and Yisroel Wulliger. May your singer be as eidel and good as these two and may you be zoche to build beautiful families like they have.
observanteen- i give u a brachah that that shouldnt change..
I don’t understand the question, do you mean to say that singers are not meant to get married? They should stay single?
real brisker- lol
i think it would be a challenge for a singer to resist being sucked into the gayvah and other negative middos..
i know wer talkin about men but its not the most tzniyus, aidel profession..
An attorney can also be sucked into the gayvah and other negative middos, so can a doctor, as a matter of fact a Rabbi can let his kovod and popularity go to his head as well. Let’s see a real estate developer who makes tons of money, yes for sure. At the height of the economy, the mortgage brokers, title closers, bankers, stock brokers, etc.
That comment can be said about any professional at the height of their careers. It always depend on the person, who they are and whether or not they know that their mazal and parnassah come from Hashem.
real brisker
obviously, singers should also get married. maybe this thread is suggesting that those who want to pursue careers in the music/singing industry should not come out and do so in public until they are married. that way, they have no public name before hand
I don’t know any woman singers, but I would’nt mind hangin’ out with Lipa or Matisyahu for a day or two.
But to be married to a celeb? Nah.
Popa bar abba, this conversation has nothing to do with you, just leave it alone
I fully intend to.
“When i go to weddings and i see the very outgoing and sociable young, handsome, frum singer, i always wonder how secure this wife must feel in her marriage, being fine with her husband staying out late every night.. entertaining those crowds of very enthusiastic and beautifully dressed women..”
“i think it would be a challenge for a singer to resist being sucked into the gayvah and other negative middos..”
s2021
Really?! You cannot be serious.
First of all we are talking about FRUM singers. Now you dont have to lecture me about being naive as to what (unfortunately) goes on in the Jewish world because I am (again, unfortunately) well aware. But, we ARE talking about FRUM singers. There are no roadies, no groupies and no mosh pits. There are no woman throwing their (uhem) personal belongings at the Singer while they are singing.
Secondly, I have been to a wide range of wedding Modern to Ultra Yeshivish and never have I seen woman gawking at the Singer, in fact, more often then not the Singer focuses his attention at the Men’s side of the mechitza.
Lastly,
“sociable young, handsome, frum singer”
Do tell who this fellow is, would love to meet him. He dont exist.
lol, ok sac i think we dont go to the same weddings-comunity wise..and dont even get me started on the frum djs..
s2021 – I am not joking, I am serious – who should marry a singer? Is it automatic you come a singer = no marrige?
nooo.. sac would love to meet one. wer talkin personal preference here
I’d like a handsome Frum guy, period. 😉
If he happens to be a singer, so be it.
AihOdMilvado said it best.Aries raised some important points. s2021 is totally off base and Sacrilege i know of one 🙂
What exactly is off base? in my circles.. (there r differnt frum communities, i may be in a different one than u) the rabbis outright do not not aprove of bnei torah becoming singers. for excellent reasons. i see first hand what “singers” become… i guess everyones minds r so pure they can not imagine a place where such a phenomenon exists.. Baruch Hashm!
i agree 100% with s2021! its not right for a guy to put himself in such a situation! i also have seen first hand of innocent ybc/mbc boys becoming totally less frum then they started out as (if frum at all anymore) and i have seen older singers changed also!! of course its true that Hashem gave them a talent and therefor they should use it.. but Hashem never said “use My talent that I gave u by putting yourself in a sakana!” ok.. the profession of being a singer is a HUGE sakana that not everyone can handle!
OH, i’m sorry I forgot to mention Avraham Fried, I’ve met him, his wife and kids on many occasions. Yeah, no problem with him either. Nice family. BTW, Shlomie Dachs was my son’s shadchan he is very involved in mitzvos and helping others. As are many of the band players. Does anyone who have negative thoughts know any singers personally?
s2021/cocacola (one in the same?)
“i also have seen first hand of innocent ybc/mbc boys becoming totally less frum”
Can you prove this is from them being a child singer?
sac- is it so tot impossible that someone should have a similar opinion that i would hav to make up another screen name to back me up? Whoa. offended.
i do not have a problem with singers and i do not have a problem with children singing either. i happen to think it could be a great outlet, source of self esteem, and a way to use ur talents.. i wish there wer more of such outlets for children, and for girls too. but with every good thing, there is a flip side, and i have personally witnessed that flip side in adults. i actually was married to an “aspiring” singer… so i have some experience..
Similar punctuation and writing style.
Maybe you were married to a not very nice person who happened to be an aspiring singer. He would still be a not nice person if he was an accountant.
ybc,mbc,etc. meaning children singers can get past that (bad middos they picked up) way before marriage so that shouldn’t be a problem. Adult singers can be a different story. I wouldn’t say automatically that a singer=bad middos. Just like a regular person, you have to check. If he’s a nice person, no problem. A lot depends on you if you care to have the whole world knowing your husband and being stopped in the streets, etc. I wouldn’t be able to handle that.
aries- actually he is a nice person. and i certainly dont think singers r not nice ppl! i just wouldnt choose to marry one!
Well everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone has the right to choose. But being a singer does not automatically make you a bad shidduch prospect.
“i also have seen first hand of innocent ybc/mbc boys becoming totally less frum”
And I’ve seen the opposite too.
I’m with Sac – find me a “sociable young, handsome, frum singer.”
I’m good with that 🙂
aries-everyones entitled to ther opinions- depends who u ask! (jk- tot, i agree..:))
My eldest son-in-law is a musician, he also sings a little bit as well. It really depends on how they plan on using it. Being a frum rock start is no mayleh.
sac-me and s2021 are NOT the same person..DUH!! someone would have to have an identity crisis to have two different screen names! 🙂 anywyas… yea i do know that the boys became less frum BECAUSE they were in mbc/ybc… its SAD BUT TRUE!
dunno-can u give some examples… i would love to know that there has actually been an opposit affect! its just really hard to beleive!
cocacola
I know of two off the top of my head. I wanted to post their names but was scared of getting bashed.
dunno: why would you get bashed? i dont think you would! its a great thing that boys in mbc/ybc actually came out for the better.. no one will bash you!
cocacola. why dont you start with yerachmiel begun. After 30 years, he may be able to point to 1 or 2 boys from his choir who beat the odds and didnt go off the derech
cocacola
Please follow APY’s advice.
would it be ok to marry a painter, writer, doctor, banker , accountant,photographer or any other profession you want to name. Every type of profession has its pitfalls, staying away from those pitfalls requires a person of integrity. Find such a person and all will be ok regardless of profession.
apushutayid: just listen to what you just said.. yeruchmeil who had been doing it for 30 yrs.. so obviously he dealt with HUNDREDS of boys.. he MAY be able to point out 1 or 2 boys… it just sounds like most boys end up going down in frumkeit.. i dont want to sound mean.. cuz i do know of a couple boys who ended up AMAZING eventhough he was in mbc.. but what i was saying is that i know more boys who ended up worse than how they started..
cocacola. does the word sarcasm mean anything to you?
I was friendly with a guy, now well-known, who came out well from MBC. When he joined, his family was just Frum, and they continued growing. Whether he would have done better had he never joined, and his good outcome is due to the family’s continued growth or it’s MBC’s credit, sounds like s/t only Hashem can know
Yerachmiel Begun puts huge responsibilities on these kids which can actually teach them a lot. They can get kicked out quite easily and they know they have to keep to a certain standard. Yes, there may be some kids who go lower in their frumkeit but it depends on the kid and their original strength in their yiddishkeit. Kids who are strong enough won’t go lower because they go into a choir. I know of one kid in particular that’s still yeshivish and the whole choir thing is way past him. That’s just one kid I know of but I’m sure there are more. You can’t make a generalization that kids in the choir go lower in their yiddishkeit and you can’t say the other way around either. There are all different types of kids in the choir to begin with.
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