January 31, 2011 5:03 am at 5:03 am #594640
Who would you not send a sms text message? For example I don’t think it’s bakovodik to send a text message to a Rov, Rosh Hayeshiva, Menahel… Unless they would advise me otherwise. Whats your thoughts?January 31, 2011 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm #734870
Someone (male) used to text me just technical stuff…after a while he got way too comfortable….I had to put an end to it altogether.My advice:Keep it technical or don’t start.January 31, 2011 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #734871
eclipse – Thats another issue, I would say with that the rule would be whoever you would call, and talk, you can text.January 31, 2011 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #734872
I know you meant is it disrespectful:It isn’t if the person in question doesn’t mind.But sometimes barriers fall away,and any 2 people have to be careful.Sorry I didn’t explain myself too well.January 31, 2011 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #734873jewish sourceParticipant
how do you stop text from a person that is really bothering you to the coreJanuary 31, 2011 2:15 pm at 2:15 pm #734874
I know from first hand experience, texting can be far worse than unfiltered internet. Whereas the internet exposes one (mostly males) to undesirable sites, texting while at the beginning may be OK is one on one LIVE. It is also a impulse of both genders. It starts out innocent enough and… far worse than what internet could have effected.January 31, 2011 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #734875A23Participant
Jewish source, I believe all of the phone companies can block texts from specific numbers if you ask them to.January 31, 2011 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #734876
eclipse – 🙂January 31, 2011 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm #734877truth be toldMember
jewish source: call your phone company.January 31, 2011 2:52 pm at 2:52 pm #734878
Years ago, a group of young girls I was mentoring were going to shiurim from a young Rabbi that was also mentoring these girls. When I found out they were texting each other I strongly suggested that they stop. I very firmly pointed out to these girls that it was inappropriate. That he was a young married man and that it was extremely disrespectful to his WIFE to do so, even if HE himself didn’t realize it. I then encouraged them to choose a different Rabbi that was older than he was because I felt he was too young and inexperienced and would wind up in conflict with his wife. I told the girls that although he had very good intentions that since he was so young, he should mentor boys and not girls.January 31, 2011 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #734880elikParticipant
I am close to two prominent rabbis in the community and they BOTH ENCOURAGE me to text them…They say its easier for them.. however you should get permission first!January 31, 2011 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm #734881showerzingerMember
Yochie- Anything you can txt/can be causeed by txting can be done/achieved through NUMEROUS online chatting sites etc. PLUS with the other dangers of unfiltered internet, I don’t understand your statement whatsoever.January 31, 2011 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #734882Ken ZaynMember
This is exactly why rabonim is israel have banned texts. Its because there’s been too many cases there between not only yeshiva bochurim and seminary girls but also r”l between married men and married women. Experience has unfortunately shown time after time that there are things that would never be spoken in our circles between the 2 genders, but that inhibition is much less prevalent by texting, and terrible situations follow too quickly. Also texting is much more discreet and can take place in a room full of ppl with noone able to overhear and follow the conversationJanuary 31, 2011 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #734883
The difference is that texting SEEMS more kosher in the first place.
The person I was referring to was a “respectable” person who didn’t realize the change himself;I had to point it out and say:no more.January 31, 2011 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #734884
My sister texted her principal for a very specific school related issue and i thought it was a bit weird but i didn’t comment.January 31, 2011 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #734885
elik – Kol Hakovod if he told you to. The question is where to draw the line, which people should you have to get permission first?January 31, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #734886
Whoever it is proper to talk to.January 31, 2011 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #734887
Rav Shlomo Aviner, of Yeshiva Ateres Yerushalayim, routinely publishes Shu”T that he receives and answers by SMS.
The WolfJanuary 31, 2011 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #734888
OK, any means of direct communication. About understanding my statement – become a bit educated. Some posts here specifically spell it out.January 31, 2011 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #734889
Wolf- That’s great but that is only the good side. the internet has lots of Torah on it yet I still would not recommend it.
^MONIS^January 31, 2011 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #734890
the internet has lots of Torah on it yet I still would not recommend it.
And yet, here you are…
The WolfJanuary 31, 2011 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #734891
Wolf- Yes and I probably shouldn’t be maybe this is one of my challenges in life. Sorry if I was too critical I had no Bad intentions.
^MONIS^January 31, 2011 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #734892
Sorry if I was too critical
No need to apologize. Never apologize for civil disagreement. I don’t get offended if you disagree with me, as long as it’s done politely and civilly.
I had no Bad intentions.
I didn’t think you had any. 🙂
The WolfJanuary 31, 2011 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #734893mytakeMember
Anyone wants to compare and contrast the big bad chat rooms and the coffee room?January 31, 2011 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #734894
Wolf- Thanks now I feel complemented!
^MONIS^January 31, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #734895
apy – You mean you would text your Rov?January 31, 2011 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #734896
RB. If he had a plan that included texting and he didnt mind, I would. I wouldnt send him a text about some narishkeit (I wouldnt call him about that either).
There is a Rav in my neighborhood who encourages people to text him, he says it is easier for him.January 31, 2011 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #734897
mytake. if the CR contained the dynamics of the old chat rooms, the CR would be WAAAYY different.January 31, 2011 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #734898deiyezoogerMember
texting is fun…..for the right people. i think nothing is wrong with it.sorry thats my opioion.January 31, 2011 9:41 pm at 9:41 pm #734899TheGoqParticipant
ok ill be the one to ask onegoal, what is this monis business?January 31, 2011 9:55 pm at 9:55 pm #734900
apy – “If he didnt mind”January 31, 2011 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #734901
RB. If you dont mind. Are you asking something? Explaining something? Disagreeing with something?February 1, 2011 12:46 am at 12:46 am #734902Sister BearMember
It depends on each person separately. There are certain people who it wouldn’t even cross your mind to text them because they don’t give off that air and then there are others that you totally could.
If you aren’t sure if you can text them, ask them!February 1, 2011 12:48 am at 12:48 am #734903
apy – I was quoting your words in the previous post. That you would ONLY text your Rov if you would know that he wouldnt mind. Correct?February 1, 2011 1:13 am at 1:13 am #734904
I figured that out. The question is, why.February 1, 2011 1:33 am at 1:33 am #734905
Here is another situation, a young girl I was mentoring was dating a guy and dropped the shadchan too soon and they starting texting. I told her it was a mistake and they were becoming tooooooooo friendly which was taking them down a few madreigas from real courtship to friendship. I told her to be careful because they were getting too comfortable and that would become a problem. In the end it fizzled out because although she viewed him as her future spouse, he wound up viewing her as another “pal”.
This happened to a second young woman I know. Texting during the dating process is destructive to the end result.February 1, 2011 1:52 am at 1:52 am #734906
Money with a French accent,silent “s”?February 1, 2011 4:03 am at 4:03 am #734907
apy – Why what?February 1, 2011 4:07 am at 4:07 am #734908kapustaParticipant
I think its ok to text someone you speak with on a regular basis. Family, friends, co-workers etc. Authority figures should get a phone call, (unless told otherwise). They are different than a friend and should be treated differently than a friend. I will add to what aries said that couples should not text while dating or even during an engagement (but thats a separate discussion). Men and women (married or single) should not be texting each other for social (or even for business. Thats a very easy way to get into social texting.)February 1, 2011 4:12 am at 4:12 am #734909chayav inish livisumayParticipant
yochie you are so wrong
i know rabbeim that like being texted so that they can respond without having to be on the phone because they are constantly on the phone otherwiseFebruary 1, 2011 6:39 am at 6:39 am #734910
I’m so wrong – what part?
Is it the part that I attested (first hand) of one man who got mired deeply in with a married…February 1, 2011 7:03 am at 7:03 am #734911candy613Member
i feel sometimes it is better to text even ppl in authority if you have permission only!!!! Sometimes people aren’t available to talk and if you have a quick question you can just text quickly its much better. Also it is easier at times to text someone if you aren’t in the mood to talk about it and it can be worked out that way instead. But i do agree texting can really ruin things at times and can cause some ill feelings!February 1, 2011 1:17 pm at 1:17 pm #734912tzippiMember
The “whom”‘s impressive but one, or possibly both, of those tos is superfluous.February 1, 2011 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #734913DrinkingoutofCupsMember
Thank you, tzippi.February 1, 2011 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #734914
Bottom line as always is to USE COMMON SENSE!February 1, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #734915peselmalkaMember
Texting has gotten totally out of hand, especially by the teenagers!! Proceed with caution please!!!February 1, 2011 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #734916
pessl – Please explain why its out of hand-February 1, 2011 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #734917peselmalkaMember
Just like other writers have said, you get very comfortable with writing things you would never say to the person to their face!! Like in the Coffee Room!!February 1, 2011 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #734919
Pesel – Why only amongst teenagers?February 1, 2011 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #734920
Since we are asking why. May ask I ask again, why were you quoting me my own words? Are you trying to elicit a response from me for something?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.