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so everyone knows the famous rashi w elisheva achos nachshon.. so does the same thing apply w the opposite? that to check into a boy u shud check his sisters? cuz original is when looking into a girl, check her brothers
No, it only applies to the girl. The boy should look into her brothers middos etc, as he can expect her children to be like her brothers. The reverse does not apply, as Chazal only applied it to the potential wife.
I really hope not.
Wht if the guy only has one brother ?
My brother is amazing. In a totally different way than I am.
To check a boy, you just check him…
I’m nothing like my uncle…
Will my sons turn out like my brothers? I’m not looking forward to that.
We _check_ to see if he will be a good _mate_.
Purplicious: Well, we see that she didn’t have zechus avos, as Yitzchak’s tefila was accepted before hers. So coming from a not-so-good family did affect her. Plus, she gave birth to Esav. So at least one of her kids took after her family.
The boy should look into her brothers middos etc
I guess my brother-in-law never did this. If he did, my sister would have never gotten married.
The Wolf
Purple: She was his bashert nonetheless. Which goes to show that nothing is ever what it seems in shidduchim; only Hashem knows what is really going on.
Can’t do it– I’m dating an only child!
I feel I was victimized in the past by overly aggressive shidduch investigations (on grounds of personal status), despite the fact that I had many rabbonim vouch for the fact that they’d happily be mesadder kiddushin for me, including YU musmachim, a former RCA president, a Chassidishe Rov, and others.
Everyone has different standards & different rebbeim will tell you different things. I wish you much mazal in finding a better shidduch.
Hey Joseph,
I guess Avraham avinu didn’t give too much weight to this chazal when trying to get a Shidduch for his son yitzchak
JayMatt19
You do realize that
1. Its not a chiyuv/mitzvah min hatorah to look at the brothers, its only a certain indication of what the child can turn out like, however everyone has bechira and can rise above their nature.
2. There wasnt many families to pick from, Avraham specifically wanted someone from his family and there was nobody with middos like Rivka’s to be found elsewhere.
rebdoniel
People have a right to do an investigation and say no to you. Deal with it. You don’t want a girl to not do the research and then dump you once you are engaged when she finds out certain things about you that she doesn’t like.
WIY, I’ll quote one of my high school classmates:
The Avos kept all of the Mitzvos, even the Derabonons, except for the ones they didn’t.
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