February 6, 2013 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #608100
so everyone knows the famous rashi w elisheva achos nachshon.. so does the same thing apply w the opposite? that to check into a boy u shud check his sisters? cuz original is when looking into a girl, check her brothersFebruary 6, 2013 11:49 pm at 11:49 pm #928271
No, it only applies to the girl. The boy should look into her brothers middos etc, as he can expect her children to be like her brothers. The reverse does not apply, as Chazal only applied it to the potential wife.February 6, 2013 11:54 pm at 11:54 pm #928272basyechida nomoreParticipant
I really hope not.February 7, 2013 12:00 am at 12:00 am #928273more_2Member
Wht if the guy only has one brother ?February 7, 2013 12:38 am at 12:38 am #928274
My brother is amazing. In a totally different way than I am.February 7, 2013 12:42 am at 12:42 am #928275
or what if a girl has two teenage brothers who both are yarei shamaim but complete opposites?? also isnt theres a concept i forgot the hebrew words but basically the idea of vice versa… like in shma we learnt and ull live a long life if u keep the mitzvos.. and theres a quote that says if u dont keep them ull die.. does that quoete abt oppposite apply here w the boys sisters?February 7, 2013 12:45 am at 12:45 am #928276
and ur a girl rite? but lets say rivka imeinu.. she had “awsome” brothers rite? how does that work?February 7, 2013 12:45 am at 12:45 am #928277popa_bar_abbaParticipant
To check a boy, you just check him…February 7, 2013 1:39 am at 1:39 am #928278
u dont know that rashi??February 7, 2013 1:45 am at 1:45 am #928279CuriosityParticipant
I’m nothing like my uncle…February 7, 2013 1:55 am at 1:55 am #928280basyechida nomoreParticipant
Will my sons turn out like my brothers? I’m not looking forward to that.February 7, 2013 2:01 am at 2:01 am #928281
We _check_ to see if he will be a good _mate_.February 7, 2013 2:14 am at 2:14 am #928282
Purplicious: Well, we see that she didn’t have zechus avos, as Yitzchak’s tefila was accepted before hers. So coming from a not-so-good family did affect her. Plus, she gave birth to Esav. So at least one of her kids took after her family.February 7, 2013 3:11 am at 3:11 am #928283
so why wasnt yitchak concerned abt her yichus?February 7, 2013 4:03 am at 4:03 am #928284WolfishMusingsParticipant
The boy should look into her brothers middos etc
I guess my brother-in-law never did this. If he did, my sister would have never gotten married.
The WolfFebruary 7, 2013 4:03 am at 4:03 am #928285February 7, 2013 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #928286
wow shein u know a ton abt this!! thanks… but wat abt the original q that dus it apply the opposite way?February 8, 2013 4:37 am at 4:37 am #928287
Purple: She was his bashert nonetheless. Which goes to show that nothing is ever what it seems in shidduchim; only Hashem knows what is really going on.February 10, 2013 6:28 am at 6:28 am #928288
k but noone gave me an answer abt whether the opposite applys?? wheres sam2?? hes smart!!February 10, 2013 6:29 am at 6:29 am #928289jewishfeminist02Member
Can’t do it– I’m dating an only child!February 10, 2013 10:36 am at 10:36 am #928290rebdonielMember
I feel I was victimized in the past by overly aggressive shidduch investigations (on grounds of personal status), despite the fact that I had many rabbonim vouch for the fact that they’d happily be mesadder kiddushin for me, including YU musmachim, a former RCA president, a Chassidishe Rov, and others.February 10, 2013 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #928291jewishfeminist02Member
Everyone has different standards & different rebbeim will tell you different things. I wish you much mazal in finding a better shidduch.February 10, 2013 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #928292JayMatt19Participant
I guess Avraham avinu didn’t give too much weight to this chazal when trying to get a Shidduch for his son yitzchakFebruary 10, 2013 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #928293WIYMember
You do realize that
1. Its not a chiyuv/mitzvah min hatorah to look at the brothers, its only a certain indication of what the child can turn out like, however everyone has bechira and can rise above their nature.
2. There wasnt many families to pick from, Avraham specifically wanted someone from his family and there was nobody with middos like Rivka’s to be found elsewhere.February 10, 2013 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm #928294WIYMember
People have a right to do an investigation and say no to you. Deal with it. You don’t want a girl to not do the research and then dump you once you are engaged when she finds out certain things about you that she doesn’t like.February 10, 2013 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #928295Ðash®Participant
WIY, I’ll quote one of my high school classmates:
The Avos kept all of the Mitzvos, even the Derabonons, except for the ones they didn’t.
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