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- This topic has 13 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 1 week ago by Always_Ask_Questions.
August 25, 2022 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #2118560ZushyParticipant
I know I’ve posted about this before but this is a true story. You can reach whatever conclusion you want, but I think it midda k’neged midda and shows the importance of respecting everyone.
A rebbi once shared cake with his class to celebrate the birth of his daughter. it was basically a year since his last child.
A second rebbi came in to take the next period. He was unfortunately suffering from secondary infertility.
A chutzadike kid called out “Mazel Tov rebbi” we heard you had a daughter, bli ayin hara two years running.
The rebbi understandably was very very upset and anguished. He taught that period. Later he sent they boy a message to wait for him after school.
Since this rebbi taught an older class later, the kid had to wait an extra period. Later the rebbi took the child outside of school and walked him for a few minutes. He then told him to take off his shoes and walked him a good distance in socks. Finally he told him to spend the next day too in socks.
[This was somewhat of a standard punishment in the school, but the rebbi expanded on it]
This was the only time when the rebbi forced a kid to take his shoes off as a punihsment.
A year later the rebbi took a bus to a separate beach in e”y. He somehow lost his shoes, and ended up walking a good distance on the streets of yerushalayim shoeless
The talmid told me that the rebbi phoned him and asked him mechila and he assured the rebbi that he has no kepeida.August 25, 2022 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm #2118670Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant
Rebbi should not have taught the lesson when he was personally offended. He should have noted a problem, then find a time when the kid offends someone else and teach him then.August 28, 2022 7:11 am at 7:11 am #2119077MDGParticipant
I get the impression that the boy thought he was funny. He didn’t understand the pain he caused.August 28, 2022 8:43 am at 8:43 am #2119089ujmParticipant
Did the boy ask his rebbi for mechila?August 28, 2022 11:16 am at 11:16 am #2119112
As someone who has had every insult and defamation hurled my way ( i also do not have any children) by bratty children, i agree with the posters that under no circumstances can a rebbe take personal feelings to heart or make decisions based on them. When i write recommendations, i go by set criteria, not how the boy made me feel. Honestly, kids are mean and it’s happened to me (and every other rebbe i know!) that kids will ask mechilah years later for all the horrible, sometimes unthinkable things that they say and do.
I don’t know if the rebbe needs to ask mechila though; the kid needed a severe punishment for such a deliberately hurtful thing to do; same punishment should have been given if the boy said it to a different rebbe, or any other adult. Honestly, if things were the way they should be, I’d punish kids for things they do outside school if i found out about it, but administrations don’t believe in that for some reason. A rebbes place isn’t just a classroom; you’re supposed to train children for their lives, not just to sit still for a few hours and then be animals.August 28, 2022 11:23 am at 11:23 am #2119127🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
This has got to be the most disturbing posts you have ever written. You have no business teaching.August 28, 2022 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #2119181
Syag, i was referring to the system of acceptable punishments that that particular school had. We don’t do things like that anymore, and they don’t work for kids in our time. To be clear, i wouldn’t think of making one of my kids walk around without shoes.
As for being disturbed about wanting to act on things that happen outside school; think about it – a kid beats up his friend putside school; they’re in the same class, and you’re in a position to solve the problem, and deal with the culpability of one child if they are at fault – what’s the rationale not to? Are you only supposed to deal with what you see in front of your eyes and pretend nothing happens outside of the classroom?August 28, 2022 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #2119185ZushyParticipant
“This has got to be the most disturbing posts you have ever written. You have no business teaching.”
Sorry s’yag I dont teach …. I definitely wouldn’t confiscate shoes …. I have way too much trauma
Yes, the kid asked mehcila, and he was old enough to understand.August 28, 2022 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #2119237🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
Sorry Zushy, that wasn’t for you.
I’m not disturbed about wanting to hold kids accountable outside school, but I knew you would assume that because you don’t even realize what you say.
The words you use to describe/reference the neshamos you have been entrusted with is appalling.
And anyone who can hear a three line anecdote and sum it up as “the kid needed a severe punishment for such a deliberately hurtful thing to do” should not be given a classroom. Any teacher who understands the value of their job would first and foremost suggest a limud zchus for this boy or minimally verify that he even knew what he was saying . Anything less is inexcusable.August 28, 2022 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #2119252
Syag; in your estimate, children should hate being taught by me, parents should be beating down my door, and none of them would ever want to keep contact after they are no longer in my class.
None of those things are the case. My students are eager to go out on trips i organize outside school, they call me for advice years after they leave, and I’m usually the mediator between parents and other teachers. I don’t talk about myself very much on here, but i think I’m doing something right.August 28, 2022 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #2119253
I set up boundaries and rules in my classroom; things i know they’re going to do, i don’t punish severely – it’s certain things that they know are beyond the pale… they know as they’re doing it that they’re crossing a line. When a kid lost a parent, even the worst kids didn’t cross that line. My kids all knew i don’t have kids of my own (not that i made it public… Things come out) and no matter jow many times they cursed me out, that was something no one thought of doing.
In another class, maybe some kids would – it depends on the circumstances.August 28, 2022 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #2119268hujuParticipant
So, Zushy, you are posting something twice because it is true? Do you think everything posted only once is false?August 29, 2022 7:42 am at 7:42 am #2119353RABBAIMParticipant
Please read SPARE THE CHILD by Rav Yaakovson!!!! Please!!!August 29, 2022 10:45 am at 10:45 am #2119424Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant
huju, adaraba, anything that is worth saying once, is worth saying twice
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