Tzinus – Both Views are Correct

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    In other threads there has been debates regarding tzinus and women should do such and such and men should not do such and such.

    Both those who say that women should not dress and act in ways to attract men and those who say men should not look are BOTH correct. We learn this from the last paragraph of Shema.

    In the last paragraph of the Shema, the Torah tells us “…and not explore after your heart and after your eyes after which you stray…” the order seems to be reversed. First the eyes see something and only then does the heart desire it yet the Torah tells us the heart and then the eyes.

    I heard on a tape from R’ M.M. Weiss that the reason for this is that the first time you see what you should not see by accident (e.g. someone stepped in front of you) you are not held liable for seeing, however, if your heart desires and you take the second look or go back at other times for hoping to see inappropriate sights, you are liable. Naturally, a person cannot try to fool themselves and claim they saw by accident when in their heart they looked on purpose.

    Women should dress and act appropriately so as not to allow eyes to see them in the first place in an accidental non-tzinus situation.

    AND equally as important

    Men should train themselves to not explore after their hearts and to stop themselves before looking a second time no matter how she is dressed.

    We see from here that both views are correct

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