April 2, 2018 8:58 am at 8:58 am #1502113
Opinions wanted, not Halacha (our Rav has been consulted).
Unexpectedly, daughter gave birth slightly early presenting us with a new grandson. The Bris will I”H have to be the last day of Yuntif.
Not able to get catered food for a shul bris… locally they are all closed down for Yuntif and the shul kitchen sealed off. Shul only serves wine, grape juice and packaged Pesach macaroons, kichel, etc. for Pesach kiddush which doesn’t require using the kitchen.
SO>>>do we simply purchase these items available in the general supermarket and have the bris in the shul?
OR…do we have the Bris at home and put the family members into action cooking and baking for the locals who might attend if asked.
The gantzeh mishpucha is already in the compound and we have ample foodstocks to bake/cook for another 30 or so locals.
OR do we just limit the Bris to family (no problem with a minyan) assuming we should not ask others to mish on Pesach and sponsor a full kiddush in shul the following Shabbos? Daughter and SIL live here.April 2, 2018 9:15 am at 9:15 am #1502127JosephParticipant
Make the Bris in shul on time IY”H, serving Matzah, wine, grape juice, Pesach macaroons, kichel, etc.April 2, 2018 9:15 am at 9:15 am #1502129MenoParticipant
Here’s my take on the situation (and brisim in general):
You should do whatever makes you happy and feels comfortable. You should absolutely not feel pressured to go out of your way and be matriach your family to make sure the entire community has a lavish breakfast (unless the community members are volunteering to take the night shift with the baby for a week).
Mazel Tov!April 2, 2018 11:04 am at 11:04 am #15021522scentsParticipant
First Mazel Tov!! May you be zocha to have lots of nachas from this and other grandchildren.
What i would probably do, have a basic even in shull as per their guidelines, then have a family meal at home with maybe a handful of close friends or extended family for the meal.April 2, 2018 12:15 pm at 12:15 pm #15022552qwertyParticipant
It’s the last day so no problems with mishing. But I still think you should consult shul Rav for his opinion.
I’ve been to a bris and they served, matza cream cheese, maybe lox don’t remember. Also peelable fruits, some macaroons, sealed slices of cheese, yogurt, shelled nuts…etc.
You may be able to serve much more since it’s the last day.April 2, 2018 12:15 pm at 12:15 pm #15022562qwertyParticipant
Also boiled eggs in shell.April 2, 2018 12:28 pm at 12:28 pm #1502261YW Moderator-💯Moderator
Mazel Tov!April 2, 2018 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm #1502268
YHI ROTZON SHEHYIGADLO LTORAH U’LCHUPAH U”LMAASIM TOVIM VEYACHNISO BIVRISO SHEL AVROHOM AVINU BITO UBIZMANO! ROV NACHAS MIKOL BNAI MISHPACHTO.
IMO, purchase prepackaged products like Flaums Tuna spread, Egg salad, whitefish salad, and make the seuda on the day of the bris in shul.April 2, 2018 2:30 pm at 2:30 pm #1502292
Unfortunately your suggestions is not an option.
#1 Items not available here during Pesach in general supermarket and we’ll not make a shopping run to NY
#2 Can’t bring items requiring refrigeration into the shul during Pesach. the kitchens are locked and sealed.
see #2…no yogurt, cheese, cooked eggs possible
@Joseph….that would be easiest. 7:30 Bris, then Kiddush, then 8:45 Shacharis. Our family would come home for Yuntif lunch.
BUT it all depends on Mrs. CTL. 7 inches of snow this morning, expecting another storm Thursday. The ladies may not want to take the baby out and walk if it’s going to be cold and still snow on the ground. No sidewalks here in the country.April 2, 2018 4:42 pm at 4:42 pm #1502305
ctlawyer: I understand zerizim makdimim but bris and kiddush before davening shachris?April 2, 2018 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #1502308The FrumguyParticipant
Mazal Tov CTLAWYER. What’s a “Yuntif??”April 2, 2018 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1502320
Mazel tov CTL & family
I’m assuming there is an eruv in your town. There definitely is a halachic preference for a bris to be held in shul, although I’ve never heard of a bris before davening.
What would generally happen here in England, is that the bris would take place after davening. You would provide mezonos cakes and wine so the vicinity could participate in the simcha after shul. Then you would have the Yom tov seuda at jome as the seudas mitzva and invite a few close friends for dessert and benching.
Why would you need to make another kiddush next week? Assuming you’re doing a sholom zochor on last night Yomtov also, isn’t it a bit unnecessary?
Whatever you and the family decide, may it be besimcha, and may you, Mrs CTL and the whole family have much nachas from all the CTEiniklach. Thank you for letting us be part of the simcha.April 2, 2018 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1502321jakobParticipant
Make the bris and kiddish in shul for all community invited and then go enjoy the meal with just family invited at home.
This is what is the normal regular family does in this situation
Someone in the catering business.
Mazel tovApril 2, 2018 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1502323
Yuntif is Yomtov obviously. I’m taking your question at face value even though I’m sure you’re being sarcastic.
Please realise we have people from across the Jewish spectrum posting here, and pronunciations from all parts of klal Yisroel. We even had a spanish sounding Jiyub a few weeks ago, which as we know is a chiyuv in English transliteration. Isn’t that beautiful?April 2, 2018 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #1502330funnyboneParticipant
Is option 1 and 3 an option? Or option 1 and 2?
I guess its nicer to have a bris in shul with many attendees. You coud serve some kichel and grape juice when done, I imagine you will have plenty of leftovers. ..
Then you go home and have a seudas bris for family or extended family and friends. If someone is uncomfortable mishing, they should feel confortable to tell it to you.
Mazel tov! May you have lots of yiddish nachas from all your children and grandchildren! Current and future!April 2, 2018 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #1502363from Long IslandParticipant
If the Mom or Dad really, really, want a Shul bris, then I would have the bris after davening with a minimal kiddush. And have the Sedudat Mitzvah at home with family.
BUT, if the new Mom does not want to bring a newborn out in inclement weather, or walk to Shul in bad weather, I would honor HER wishes and have the Bris at home after davening followed by a family/close friends kiddush.
(FYI, my brother had his Bris on Simchas Torah, and that year it was pouring. The Bris & kiddush was held in the house. My Mom would not walk 10 blocks to and from Shul in the pouring rain with a newborn.)
Much, much Mazal Tov to you and your entire family.April 2, 2018 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #1502356GadolhadorahParticipant
First, mazel tov Do the minimal bris with family and then do the full CT Lawyer Kiddush the next Shabbos or a week or two later…from your prior postings, it sounds like Mrs. CT Lawyer really knows how to throw a classy party and it would be a shame to waste her talents on stale macaroons and grape juice. And also, your new grandson will be 50 percent older the following Shabbos and your daughter and son-in-law more rested and relaxed.April 2, 2018 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #1502401147Participant
Become Israeli and observe 1 day Yom Tov, so instead of Shabbos being Shemini Shel Pesach, it is Shabbos Shemini, and have a Heathen friend give you Chometz on Shabbos.
As far as naming, since he was born on very 1st day of Pesach, either name him “Gamliel” who is so famous for the 3 items that must be mentioned on Seder nite, or “Eliyohu” after the other star guest whose Kos Eliyohu awaits him.April 3, 2018 9:03 am at 9:03 am #1502483
The decision has been made for us.
It seems that Monday’s snowstorm has taken out the eruv and it will not be back up for Shabbos. A car accident took out a utility pole that held the wire. A temporary sister pole is in place, but the eruv wire cannot be attached to it, as the utility does not know which day they’ll install the permanent replacement pole. Most likely Friday.
So, Yuntif services, bris and kiddush luncheon here in the compound. We’ll host a shul kiddush the Shabbos after Pesach for the congregation.
This morning my oldest grandson will be sent up into the attic bookstacks to dig out another dozen or so Kol Bo Pesach Machzorim. Mrs. CTL laughed at me when I saved 50 when our old shul closed 30 years ago, calling me a pack rat.April 3, 2018 11:04 am at 11:04 am #1502507
147: I didn’t see CTL asking for naming suggestions. I didn’t want family members even suggesting names to me, let alone outsiders. How do you know that his daughter and SIL don’t already have a specific relative that they want to name the child for.April 3, 2018 12:17 pm at 12:17 pm #1502565
I don’t know why people think they can butt in and suggest names. I would not dream of doing than and I’m the grandfather.
We have a family tradition that the mother chooses the name of the firstborn, the father chooses the name of the second born and after that it is up to negotiation.
Mrs. CTL and I would never dream of discussing names with our daughter and SIL. Had this been a girl, I assume that the baby would have been named for MIL who was niftara on Rosh HaShanah. Since it’s a boy, I’ll find out at the bris what the couple chose.April 3, 2018 3:03 pm at 3:03 pm #1502596
Great news CTL, hope everything goes well for you and the family.
As far as naming goes, I think the minhag of the mother choosing first goes way back. You reminded me of when my son was born, after we had decided on a name, I playfully asked my mother to guess the name, and she refused. She said that I might take her guess as pressure so she wouldn’t even do that. We told my parents in law before the bris as a courtesy, since he wasn’t named after their side of the family.April 3, 2018 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #1502622
G613: It goes back to Europe as many young couples moved into the kallah’s parents house and as hakoras hatov for their support the naming went to the wife. From the chumash we see that Leah gave names to her first 4 sons, Rachel named Bilhah’s sons and Leah named Zilpah’s sons. Rachel named Yosef… וַתִּקְרָ֧א אֶת־שְׁמ֛וֹ יוֹסֵ֖ף לֵאמֹ֑ר. However, we also see that the father’s sometimes named the first born….Er, was named by Yehuda (as it says “vayikra”) וַתַּ֖הַר וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֑ן וַיִּקְרָ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ עֵֽר:. Yehuda’s wife named Onan as it says Vatikra וַתַּ֥הַר ע֖וֹד וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֑ן וַתִּקְרָ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ אוֹנָֽן: By Tamar’s twins, it says both times “Vayikra” וַיִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ פָּֽרֶץ: and וַיִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ זָֽרַח:. We also see that Yosef named Menashe וַיִּקְרָ֥א יוֹסֵ֛ף אֶת־שֵׁ֥ם הַבְּכ֖וֹר מְנַשֶּׁ֑ה. Moshe Rabbeinu named Gershom וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֔ן וַיִּקְרָ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ גֵּֽרְשֹׁ֑ם כִּ֣י אָמַ֔ר גֵּ֣ר הָיִ֔יתִי בְּאֶ֖רֶץ נָכְרִיָּֽה:
Personally, my wife and I never divulged the name to anyone before the bris.April 8, 2018 9:01 am at 9:01 am #1503423
The Bris and Pesach and all the guests have come and gone.
B”H the baby and mother are healthy. The boy was named for father’s younger brother Z”L. Aharon Chaim, who previously had not been honored as his grandchildren have only produced girls.
We ended up with about 70+ at the bris. Mrs. CTLs’ assorted cousins pitched in and baked up a storm using memories and recipes from their days of owning a kosher bakery which closed some 35 years ago. Her nephew, a Medical doctor, who also trained as a mohel performed the bris. He was here fro all of Yuntif so we were very lucky. It’s hard enough to get a mohel who wants to be away for Shabbos, but most don’t want any part of being in a strange home/place on Pesach.April 8, 2018 10:51 am at 10:51 am #1503447
May you and your family see much nachas from the “rach nimol” as well as from all your other “eineklach”.
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