Up Close And Personal
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- This topic has 21 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by Burnt Steak.
August 28, 2013 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #610476
It’s crazy that I’m asking THE ENTIRE WORLD this but I really want to hear the answers….
I want to lose weight before actively pursuing shidduchim, but it’s taking awhile….there was someone genuinely interested in me regardless(it wasn’t nogaya), so I know that not everyone seeks physical perfection, but for myself, I wish I could be somewhat “lighter”….Since that could take longer than I want it to(at my age!), should I wait? Or just pretend I’m already 2 or 3 sizes less and “go for it”….(you know, answer the looooong line of men at my door)August 28, 2013 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #975885popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I think you should do both.
Don’t wait until you lose weight, but start dating again and also try to lose weight.
I think you’ll even find that dating will be an impetus to lose weight. Especially if you find someone you like.August 28, 2013 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #975886
Please try not to give me obvious advice like, did you try diet and exercise?(the answer is of course, but I’m not always consistent) Or, it’s the inside qualities that really matter. That is 100% true, but both sides ALSO want to LIKE how the other person looks; it’s the reality. And while in Russia, we over-40’s would simply seem “healthy” and maybe even “kraseeva”….here, the standard for “healthy-looking” can be quite different. By the way, before my filter was adjusted, I once stumbled upon a BEAUTIFUL mussar shmuz by a young blogger on how grateful we must be for our bodies: SICK PEOPLE, suffering physically, WOULD TRADE WITH US IN A SECOND. And we women criticize ourselves to death, over perceived flaws that aren’t even so awful… I don’t know if she is even Jewish but her name is “Nicole Kellerman”.August 28, 2013 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #975887
Popa, do you know I secretly think that ALL the time? That it would probably be a great motivator? (Uh, I guess it isn’t a secret anymore!)
Anyway, good, practical advice. Thank you!August 28, 2013 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #975888the-art-of-moiParticipant
eclipse- youre russian? cool!August 28, 2013 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #975889🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
I think you’ll even find that dating will be an impetus to lose weight.
I agree. Many of the guys I dated made me lose my apetite.August 28, 2013 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #975890golferParticipant
Agree with Popa.
Keep working on it, but don’t put off dating until you can squeeze into the skirt you wore when you were 18.
And I like your attitude. I feel sorry for the young, and not so young, ladies who keep insisting they want someone who likes them the way they are, and don’t bother trying to look their best. As you point out, that just doesn’t make sense.
Good luck!August 28, 2013 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #975891
Here are two techniques that are for specific groups, but they might just work well for everybody. 1) Increase muscle mass, specifically upper body muscle (no simple thing over forty) by means of body weight exercise (no machines or gadgets) More muscle mass that you tone and use uses up more caloric energy just being there. This is really for guys wanting to get six pac bellies, but it is sound advice just the same. 2) A diet that you must stick to, and it is a lot of work shopping and prep. Raw food only, obviously plant based. Nothing cooked, low temp dehydrated is ok, and soaked and sprouted grains beans and peas is your protein source. This was tried on a group of lost cause diabetics, they were “locked in” in the sense that they had no other choice and could not run away. With moderate exercise over a three week period, most had lost weight and showed beter blood levels, some were able to go medication free or reduced meds. And welcome back eclipseAugust 28, 2013 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #975892
Super advice, everyone!! Wow, thanks!
the-art-of-moi, I’m gullible; you are kidding, right? I meant, from what I know of Russia, sorry that wasn’t clear.August 28, 2013 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #975893Shopping613 🌠Participant
Got any doable diets??????August 28, 2013 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #975894
Shopping: Apparently not:)August 28, 2013 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #975895SaysMeMember
did popa just give normal, serious, sensitively-worded, good advice?? Please hold while i recover. And agree with him.
I just heard today about an old-news concept of going completely off all wheat. It’s supposedly controversial and many drs dont agree with the basis, but the dr claims anyone can lose 15lb in 30 days by going off all wheat. You can search frankenwheat for more info, but in summary, that todays genetically engineered wheat is unhealthy, unfilling, spikes blood sugar levels more than a choc bar in one experiment, and is actually addictive. And that includes whole wheat and whole grain. My curiosity was spiked :), and hey maybe i’d even try it for a month just to test it out!August 28, 2013 11:20 pm at 11:20 pm #975896Shticky GuyParticipant
Hi Eclipse I love your threads and posts. Thanks for the entertainment! (though I hardly visit the coffeeroom any more. Haven’t been here for decades!)
I agree. Many of the guys I dated made me lose my apetite.
lol syagAugust 29, 2013 12:12 am at 12:12 am #975897
Shticky Guy: Thank you!
Syag: I also laughed at that!August 29, 2013 2:18 am at 2:18 am #975898kkls45Member
Maybe try insanity. Its a really intense workout for 60 days but is known to have amazing results.August 29, 2013 3:08 am at 3:08 am #975899
kkls45: I did. 2007 was an insane year, and I think I was a size 4. Severe stress does that. Apparently “secondary” stress causes one to gain it all back and then some. And mild stress causes you to post your life story in the CR:)September 23, 2013 11:52 am at 11:52 am #975900
twisted: your advice is easier said than done but I’m gonna try iyh. Thanks again.September 23, 2013 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #975901
eclipse: most effective and worthwhile stuff is in the “Lifestyle change” paradigm. Lots of work, and forever. Once you make it over the big hills, you’re on the way, but an external conscience (jimmeny cricket) can help. Moadim Lesimcha.September 23, 2013 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #975902MCPMember
Eclipse, Insanity! is a workout video. It takes 60 days but gets you into great shape.
As an aside, I don’t think you should attempt to lose weight for shidduchim purposes unless you truly plan to keep it off once you are married/have kids. You want your husband to love you for who you are at all times, and if the 10-15 lbs will matter that much to him now they will matter then too.September 23, 2013 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #975903
Hi eclipse, most anything worthwhile and effective lies in the “lifestyle change” paradigm. Ir requires effort, and forever. Start slowly, and when you overcome the first few challenges, you’re on the way. It is somewhat like the teshuva process. An external conscience (jimmeny cricket), coach, or buddy can be very helpful. Moadim Lesimcha.September 23, 2013 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #975904
MCP…that’s so funny I had NO idea!!September 23, 2013 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #975905Burnt SteakParticipant
Do the Cubbie diet/ workout plan! For every consecutive season the cubs don’t have a world series victory do that many push ups, squats, pull ups, and after all that run for the same number of minutes alternating between sprinting and jogging every 5 minutes.
The dieting part is to have a solid diet of turkey, salad, and tears.
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