February 11, 2011 3:47 am at 3:47 am #594932TBL ROXMember
i have two girls in my class(teenagers) who decided they wanted to take ice skating lessons together. ones parents said theyll pay, the others said only if she gets good marks. i no that if i want something i pay for it with my own money. im not jelous. B”H i have everything i need and want(and i do not want to take ice skating lessons). i just want to no what ppl think abt kids always asking their parents for money and their parents giving them money. (im not talking abt if someone needs clothing, im talking abt extras)February 11, 2011 4:04 am at 4:04 am #739292s2021Member
oooo cant wait to hear wat everyone has to say about this one. i was married for a few months and now im back living with my parents and its a lil wierd for me to take money from them.. or to pay for some of my own stuff..February 11, 2011 4:11 am at 4:11 am #739293doodle jumpParticipant
It depends on so many factors. There is no “one answer that fits all”. To the parents who say that their daughter has to get good marks: Maybe they are using this as a tool for their bright, capable daughter who is not really motivated to study.
To the parents who are willing to pay? So what? Maybe the girl had a hard year? Maybe she had a tough nisayon and the parents want and need to give her that. Maybe none of the above. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I just want to mention that children who earn their money, have a much greater appreciation for it. I am glad you are not jealous.February 11, 2011 4:27 am at 4:27 am #739294kfbParticipant
It’s a very mature thing to not take money from your parents and pay for things on your own. You’re obviously more mature and more responsible than your peers and that is a great thing! I stopped taking money from my parents a few years ago, and it’s a great feeling. I can live my own life with out being controlled by anyone. Also I am ten times more mature and responsible than my friends who are “spoiled” and get what ever that want. You’re doing a great thing, more teenagers should be like you!February 11, 2011 4:38 am at 4:38 am #739295aries2756Participant
Everything depends on the dynamic of the family and how the parents raise them. You can’t say that a child does not have a “right” to ask the parents if the parent has given them that right. You can’t say its a chutzpah of the child if the child has not been taught any better. It all depends on what the child was taught.
Obviously you were raised with a conscience and with a value system of needs and wants, and what your parents are responsible for and what you should be responsible for or what extras should be earned. Not every family has the same house rules, or are taught the same type of responsible behavior. Kudos to you and your parents for setting up a sense of value and responsibility in your home. But we can’t judge others or fault others for not knowing better. WE can only try to teach them by being a good role model to follow.
On the other hand if they do know better and continue to behave childishly and selfishly you can only offer your opinion; but it is up to their parents and mehchanchim to set them straight. DO NOT allow their bad behavior to rub off on you. Be proud of your good middos and the value system you were taught.February 11, 2011 5:15 am at 5:15 am #739296dunnoMember
I can live my own life with out being controlled by anyone.
Whether or not you use your own money you have an obligation to listen to your parents.February 11, 2011 6:14 am at 6:14 am #739297popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I can live my own life with out being controlled by anyone.
Whether or not you use your own money you have an obligation to listen to your parents.
I would think the opposite. If we are talking about being controlled, I would say: Whether or not you take money you don’t have to listen to your parents.February 11, 2011 6:58 am at 6:58 am #739298real-briskerMember
If your parents *want*, and *can afford* to pay, then there is NO reason why to use your own money. Otherwise tt really depends on the circumstances…February 11, 2011 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #739299not tellingMember
Well, B”H my parents can afford to give me money for all the extras. I have never used my own money yet, and I’m not a teen anymore! Although most of my friends do pay with their own money, there’s no need for me at this point! I’m not saying that it’s the best thing, I know it’s a very good thing for people to use their own money, it teaches them responsibility. But at this point, I get it from my parents.February 11, 2011 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #739300mikehall12382Member
How old are the kids? Are they too young to have Jobs or are the Jobs they have no small it would take for ever to save up? Parents realize that they will have to pay for their kids, Skating is a healthy activity and should be encoraged…i dont see a problem with it, and working hard in school and getting good grades should be rewardedFebruary 11, 2011 7:24 pm at 7:24 pm #739301dvorakMember
Parents would be wise to teach their kids the value of a dollar and not just pay for everything the kids ask for. However, if the parent WANTS to pay for everything, that’s their business. Not the wisest idea, but that is their own fault, not the kid’s.February 11, 2011 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #739302oomisParticipant
Anyone who is getting all his/her money from the parents after the teen years, is not learning much about budgeting and self-reliance, and the parents do that person no favor, IMHO.
I would hope, at least, that the son or daughter contributes heavily to the general running of the household, by cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, running errands, etc. which they should be doing ANYWAY, but certainly have a chiyuv to do if they are handed everything on a silver platter. I hope the parents re-consider the damage they do to their children by not encouraging them to be fiscally responsible and earn their own way in their adulthood. It’s enough if there is a roof over their heads – but to pay for EVERYTHING????February 13, 2011 12:52 am at 12:52 am #739303TBL ROXMember
mike the girls are big teenagers. im the same age i work and make money during the summer and i babysit and i use my own $.February 13, 2011 5:08 am at 5:08 am #739304Boro Park GirlMember
My parents don’t let me use my own money( I’m single but I graduated already) and give me money for whatever I need or if I ask for something I want. I do not feel this has made me less mature in any way(if anything, it makes me think before mentioning I want something-while my friends who use their own $ just spend on whim-as long as they will still have some left for the next time they want something.) I dont karg on my spending, but I do spend my parents money any time I buy something so it just makes me think for one second before handing over the cash.
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