WAKE UP, EXILE JEWS!

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  • #615419

    Bookworm120
    Participant

    Happy 4/1/2015, everyone. 😉

    #1071814

    cozimjewish
    Member

    “It says so in a Youtuber’s explanation of a tumblr user’s retweet of an autistic child’s interpretation of a Reconstructionist mekubal’s statement in a blogger’s dream about a quote of a holy text on the Internet microwave!”

    LOVE that line!!!!! LOL

    #1071815

    cozimjewish
    Member

    (Not entirely sure what it means, though 🙂 )

    #1071816

    Chortkov
    Participant

    You shouldn’t have put that spoiler at the end. I was just working myself up to a major rant, and then I hit that “Happy 4/1/2015”. You should have waited to be destroyed from all angles and then pointed out the date!

    And, for the record, its 1/4/2015.

    #1071817

    akuperma
    Participant

    The American government, even the Democrats, are friendlier to yiddishkeit than the Israeli government. In fact, there are no ultra-secular parties – even the “secular” Democrats at least pretend to be pious believes who support accomodation of religious minorities. The entire culture of American since the latge 18th century has been exceptionally supportive of religious minorities – as opposed to the current regime in Israel which even has a national anthem on hwo they strive to build a land free from the yoke of Torah and Mitsvos.

    And even with Obama stripping the Defense budget to fund his pet projects, America is a lot stronger than its enemies – and keeps its enemies far away. If The Arabs ever united, especially in including the other major Islamic powers (Turkey, Pakistan and Iran), Israel would not last long. As it is, they have survived largely through American protection (which is probably ending).

    There is also no shailoh of leaving Eretz Yisrael in order to focus on Torah and Mitsvos. When Eretz Yisrael is run by evil people trying to destroy Torah, we should flee to the midbar, and Midbar America is a pretty nice place to flee to.

    #1071818

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    this shouuldn’t be done as an april fools joke

    #1071819

    Chaimbn
    Member

    I see no reason why Hashem should give us back the ??? ?????. Hashem goes to one person sitting in this corner, he has beautiful children he already bought his house he has a car, he’s so happy hes not grieving over my ??? ????? that’s 1 less person for my ??? ?????. The next person sitting at this corner has beautiful children he loves to learn & has a rich Father-in-law supporting him he’s so happy hes not grieving over my ??? ????? thats 1 less person for my ??? ?????. what is Hashem saying to his Malachim? just look at my children down there look how happy they are i gave them everything cars, planes, computers, Electricity & phones Etc… forget if they are Makir Tov (Grateful) for everything i give them that is not today’s lesson, Let me leave my ??? ????? up in heaven with me when my children cry for it i will give it back to them, but right now look how happy they are. A perfect Mashal would be if a Principal in a Cheder took away a ball from a boy, because he was hitting people with it. If he went to the Principal & said i’m sorry i just want to have fun i won’t hit anyone with it. I give you my word he will give him his ball back. Do you think the Principal needs it? He already has a whole basket sitting in his office. Hashem is waiting for Klal Yisroel to wake up & do ?????, the gates of ????? are never closed, the worst kings of Klal Yisroel did ????? at the end of their life yes, Achav & Menashe look at them, after 30 years of avoda zora Menashe cried & wept out all the way from his heart for teshuva from Hashem & Hashem accepted it WHY? Because he really meant it. Hashem is waiting for Klal Yisroel to do ?????. Hashem is waiting for the day to put his presence back in this world & bring us back the Bais Hamikdosh but we just don’t seem to be ready.

    All of us have heard, read & seen tons of true stories of people who had their first child at 42 or had a sick child in critical condition, & then the doctor says i’m very sorry but your daughter has only 3 hours to live & then he comes back 2 hours later & says its really a miracle but your child is beginning to recover etc…. Why is it that they finally had a child & the child recovered? There could be tons of answers, but the most common answer Is a Pasuk we say 3 times a day in Davening. Hashem is close to all who call to him, to all who call out truthfully. (Tehillim 145)Because they cried out from their heart, they really meant what they were saying when they davened to H-shem to have a baby or for his daughter to recover etc…. there’s a reason we call Hashem, Avinu She’bashamayim (our father in heaven) Hashem loves us from a father to a son & is waiting to put his Shchina (presence) & his bais hamikdosh back in this world. If we really cried out for the Bais Hamikdosh from our heart with truth & show that we are missing it, then we wouldn’t still be in Golus today.

    #1071820

    akuperma
    Participant

    You mean that Zionism is only an April’s fool joke, and tomorrow they’ll all be frum again?????

    #1071821

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    There’s a word for “Exile Jews” – Diaspora Jews.

    #1071822

    sirvoddmort
    Member

    Yekke2 made a good point. You shouldn’t have made it so abundantly clear that this was an April Fool’s, and watched as the vitriol poured in. You should have then argued your point further, putting in the occasional excellent one-liners in the OP, but in a subtler manner, on the now headlining thread for at least a page, and then, as the argument reaches it’s peak and people are on the verge of collapsing from sheer outrage, reveal the nature of the thread.

    And of course it’s 1/4/2014. There is absolutely no sense whatsoever in the American insistence on placing the month before the day. If there is one justification that stands up to scrutiny I’d like to hear it. I mean, for years I thought there had been a terrorist attack on the 9th of November

    #1071823

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    And of course it’s 1/4/2014. There is absolutely no sense whatsoever in the American insistence on placing the month before the day. If there is one justification that stands up to scrutiny I’d like to hear it. I mean, for years I thought there had been a terrorist attack on the 9th of November

    this coming from someone that drives on the wrong side of the road

    the logic is that its april 1st so therefore 4/1 makes sense

    #1071824

    sirvoddmort
    Member

    And what would you say to the equally incontrovertible logic that it’s the first of April and therefore 1/4. And why, in looking for a logical answer, do you ignore the fact that if you have system, you place the most relevant information first, followed by the next most relevant and then the next most relevant. When people look up the date the definitely know what year it is, they invariably know the month, and the information they generally need to know is the day within said month. So making that information second priority is pure unadulterated stupidity. And add to that the simple fact that it makes the most sense to display it in ascending order, because, you know, maths?

    #1071825

    HaKatan
    Participant

    Chaimbn:

    Whatever your point about tefillah, yearning for the geulah, etc., the first line in your post is offensive:

    “I see no reason why Hashem should give us back the ??? ?????.”

    I see lots of reasons why we do indeed need Hashem to redeem us all BB”A.

    For starters, so many in Klal Yisrael are suffering, each with their own nisayon from Hashem, regardless of where and how successful they may be.

    As well, despite the wonder gift of Shabbos and, liHavdil, the various levels of materialistic success with which He blesses people, it can’t compare to being redeemed with the coming of MAshiach, living in a rebuilt Yerushalayim, with the Torah, avoda in the rebuilt Beis haMikdash, etc. as Chazal has informed us.

    Wishing all of Klal Yisrael a Chag kasher viSameach.

    #1071826

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    you asked for

    If there is one justification that stands up to scrutiny I’d like to hear it

    and i gave you one justifiable reason, granted it works youre way also

    #1071827

    DikDukDuck
    Participant

    M/D/Y is as legitimate as D/M/Y. Can anyone agree on that?

    #1071828

    showjoe
    Participant

    so, who here has played pac-man on their street yet?! 🙂

    #1071829

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Bookworm, I also want to protest your zilzul of Torah values.

    #1071830

    Bookworm120
    Participant

    @cozimjewish – I was attempting to cite a highly credible source. 😉 (The “Internet Microwave” thing is a reference the joke about the guy trying to buy a “television” from the microwave salesman, and a play on how so many people don’t realize that there’s a difference between the Internet and the Worldwide Web.)

    @yekke2 and sirvoddmort – Yeah, it would’ve been a great way to make people feel a little silly.:D I figured I’d err on the side of *slightly* less dramatic. Not sure if that worked, though…. 😛

    @Torah613Torah – “Exile Jew” came out of a book which was all about scaring American Jews into making aliyah, called ‘The Mitzvah to Live in Eretz Israel.’ Much of the “And I quote” section were direct quotes from the book – and those were some of the milder bits.

    @showjoe – Yes! Isn’t it fun?

    Well, I’ve had a lot of fun today. It was very interesting seeing all of your responses. For those of you who got the joke, I’m glad I made you laugh. As for those of you who didn’t, well, um, I can’t say I’m sorry for posting it, but I’m sorry it wasn’t as appreciated as I’d hoped. Let’s hope my satirical writing skills improve for the better by 1/4/2016. At the latest, 4/1/2016. 😉

    #1071831

    sirvoddmort
    Member

    I’m sorry, but you’re point does not stand up to scrutiny. As I said, April 1st and 1st April are as ubiquitous as each other. Therefore, we can discount both of them as valid reasons to base a numerical date system on. Or to put it another way, since April 1st is not significantly more common than 1st April, if at all, they are equal in that regard and require a different reason to differentiate between them. This is scrutiny and your point has, unforunately, failed it. I have provided two actual reasons above, firstly to put the more important information first, secondly to put them in ascending order. And whilst your very kind to fargin the British mehalech, the crux of my argument is not whether my way works equally, but that my way makes more sense and is superior in every respect to the American way. Thank you, and Happy April Fool’s Day (5 minutes to go where I am).

    #1071832

    Bookworm120
    Participant

    I’ve got hours to go here, and I don’t plan on stopping until it’s over in MY time zone – mwahahaha!

    #1071833

    Joseph
    Participant

    sirvoddmort: You should be calling it Fool’s April Day.

    #1071834

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Bookworm, that makes sense. Sorry.

    #1071835

    DikDukDuck
    Participant

    sirvoddmort

    I don’t think you have to type with such a harsh tone because someone uses a different system than you.

    showjoe

    That is awesome.

    #1071836

    showjoe
    Participant

    yes it truly is!:)

    <panicked tone> everybody, quick, go to google maps and play pac-man while you still can!

    #1071837

    BarryLS1
    Participant

    Bookworm: A number of Kabbalists have made the same basic point as you.

    akuperma: Aside from the fact that the accusation about trying to destroy Torah is false and was a political ploy by Chareidi politicians to try to deal with people that have different views. Having a different perspective than most of us have, does not mean they are trying to destroy Torah. Taking a position to get Chareidim out of poverty, though they went about it like fools, is a position shared by many Chareidim themselves.

    The real point I want to make to you is this; you seem to put your faith in the American government, even in light of what VP Biden said about who will be the only one ot protect Jews when the time comes.

    While few of us like the status of the Israeli government, we don’t put our faith in any government. Everything is ba’dai Shomayim. I know you understand this but you just let your feeling about the Israeli government get in the way.

    We know Moshiach is getting close. It should become more apparent already that Hashem decided that this is the best way of bringing about the Geulah.

    Things will get rougher but we should have emunah and everything will work out.

    #1071838

    Bookworm120
    Participant

    @Torah613Torah – No worries. 🙂

    #1071839

    sirvoddmort
    Member

    DikDukDuck:

    The tone of my previous post was deliberately unnecessarily confrontational not because I genuinely care about the different dates, but because I don’t. If you read through the point I am always careful when addressing the other poster, and only speak in a slightly harsh tone (which is debatable) when referring to a fairly innocuous point. Hence, the post is therefore a better read. It’s not that I care about 4/1/15. I really couldn’t care less if I spent a month trying. What I do enjoy is arguing about it.

    #1071840

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s a religious ancient Egyptian holiday and you shouldn’t celebrate it.

    (I keep two days.)

    #1071841

    DikDukDuck
    Participant

    @sirvoddmort

    My bad. The horrors of a forum without smileys!

    #1071842

    sirvoddmort
    Member

    You are correct in that the slightly ironic nature of my previous argument would have been clearer had I used an emoticon. But, on principle, as part of my ongoing CR campaign against blatant Americanisation, I refuse to use these text-speak abominations, except in exceptional circumstances. In my book, they are up there with ‘sidewalk’, American ‘Football’, and the ‘American English’ my computer seems so keen to offer me. Anyway, Happy April Fool’s!

    #1071843

    DikDukDuck
    Participant

    @sirvoddmort:

    Haha!

    #1071844

    (Rather than bump my thread again…)

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/bookworm-120-this-ones-for-you

    Sorry about the space – it’s a typo.

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