We dont have a shidduch crisis we have a Shadchanim Crisis!

Home Forums Controversial Topics We dont have a shidduch crisis we have a Shadchanim Crisis!

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  • #606785
    WIY
    Member

    You know I was thinking, maybe the problem is the Shadchanim, and the crisis is that the Shadchanim are not working hard enough or that there aren’t enough quality Shadchanim? Maybe we have a Shadchanim crisis not a Shidduch crisis!

    #909508
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    If there was a shadchanim crisis, then the market would react and more people would enter the business due to the additional pay offered.

    There must be a sufficent quantity of shaddchanim, as this has not happened.

    #909509
    uneeq
    Member

    My Shadchan was very good. He set me up along with billions of others. Maybe, one day, we will convince others to focus mainly on only His (free) services…

    #909510
    walton157
    Member

    @WIY: I have to agree and then add some. As an older single, I have B”H found my beshert and zivug after many years of searching, but never giving up.

    But before I found my beshert, and I would meet with Shadchanim and after finding out my age, they would give me that fake smile (but their eyes always told the truth)and tell me that it would be difficult to find someoneoe for me, meaning: lady, you are too old, why are you bothering me or for that matter bothering at all? I would always smile and thank them for their help knowing full well that there is only ONE ultimate Shadchan and I put all my bitachon in Him.

    Perhaps if the Shadchanim would open their eyes a bit more and remember their mission, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

    Unfortunately, we are also the cause of this crisis: the Rabbaim telling their students to marry younger women–I understand Asay lecha rav, but to give that much power to another human being that affects the lives of so many people? If you have to ask someone who to marry, then you are NOT mature or old enough to get married.

    Asking if the family in question uses a white table cloth on its shabbos table, asking if the family in question scrapes or stacks its plates after a shabbos meal. What kind of nonsense is this?

    No wonder we are in a crisis. I really don’t think HaShem cares what color our tablecloths are or if we stack or scrape.

    #909511
    just my hapence
    Participant

    That’s not as silly a suggestions as it sounds… Out of all my friends and family, just 4 shidduchim I know were made by ‘professional’ shadchonim. All the others (my own included) were made by stam people who happened to know both sides, or people who occasionally dabbled here and there in shadchonus.

    #909512
    shmoel
    Member

    WIY: Why are you wasting your time posting this junk? The only solution is for you to become a highly engaged shadchan.

    Why haven’t you? You, Sir, are the problem – not the solution.

    #909513
    AZ
    Participant

    hmmm why didn’t i think of that angle…

    let me first read the following…

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-shidduch-crisis-1#post-419260

    #909514
    mommamia22
    Participant

    I think we have guidance crisis.

    #909515
    uneeq
    Member

    AZ: hmmm why didn’t i think of that angle…

    let me first read the following…

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/is-there-a-shidduch-crisis-1#post-419260

    First, you spammed and killed the other thread. Second, you think that we’ll read through your 15,000 word article that you copy and pasted, because somewhere 12,00 words into it, you made a point that is related to here.

    #909516
    JustHavingFun
    Participant

    I have tried to do what R’ Paysach Krohn suggested: I keep a list of the eligible (and interested) people I meet and keep them in mind to match them. I haven’t made a shidduch yet. For some reason, most of the people I know are older singles — bachelor men. I don’t have ladies for them because they inevitably want a gal who can still have babies! The idea of setting up Mr. 60 with Ms. 35 is unappealing, both to me and Ms. 35. What’s a potential shadchan to do?

    @just my hapence- I think you’re on the right track. Friends should set up friends and people shouldn’t only rely upon the professionals.

    @walton157 – I scrape and stack! and it didn’t make a whit of difference to my bashert. We use colored tablecloths, too. What a great shidduch!

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