November 27, 2012 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #606785WIYMember
You know I was thinking, maybe the problem is the Shadchanim, and the crisis is that the Shadchanim are not working hard enough or that there aren’t enough quality Shadchanim? Maybe we have a Shadchanim crisis not a Shidduch crisis!November 27, 2012 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #909508gavra_at_workParticipant
If there was a shadchanim crisis, then the market would react and more people would enter the business due to the additional pay offered.
There must be a sufficent quantity of shaddchanim, as this has not happened.November 27, 2012 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #909509uneeqMember
My Shadchan was very good. He set me up along with billions of others. Maybe, one day, we will convince others to focus mainly on only His (free) services…November 27, 2012 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #909510walton157Member
@WIY: I have to agree and then add some. As an older single, I have B”H found my beshert and zivug after many years of searching, but never giving up.
But before I found my beshert, and I would meet with Shadchanim and after finding out my age, they would give me that fake smile (but their eyes always told the truth)and tell me that it would be difficult to find someoneoe for me, meaning: lady, you are too old, why are you bothering me or for that matter bothering at all? I would always smile and thank them for their help knowing full well that there is only ONE ultimate Shadchan and I put all my bitachon in Him.
Perhaps if the Shadchanim would open their eyes a bit more and remember their mission, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Unfortunately, we are also the cause of this crisis: the Rabbaim telling their students to marry younger women–I understand Asay lecha rav, but to give that much power to another human being that affects the lives of so many people? If you have to ask someone who to marry, then you are NOT mature or old enough to get married.
Asking if the family in question uses a white table cloth on its shabbos table, asking if the family in question scrapes or stacks its plates after a shabbos meal. What kind of nonsense is this?
No wonder we are in a crisis. I really don’t think HaShem cares what color our tablecloths are or if we stack or scrape.November 27, 2012 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #909511just my hapenceParticipant
That’s not as silly a suggestions as it sounds… Out of all my friends and family, just 4 shidduchim I know were made by ‘professional’ shadchonim. All the others (my own included) were made by stam people who happened to know both sides, or people who occasionally dabbled here and there in shadchonus.November 27, 2012 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #909512shmoelMember
WIY: Why are you wasting your time posting this junk? The only solution is for you to become a highly engaged shadchan.
Why haven’t you? You, Sir, are the problem – not the solution.November 27, 2012 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #909513AZParticipant
hmmm why didn’t i think of that angle…
let me first read the following…November 27, 2012 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #909514mommamia22Participant
I think we have guidance crisis.November 27, 2012 11:05 pm at 11:05 pm #909515uneeqMember
AZ: hmmm why didn’t i think of that angle…
let me first read the following…
First, you spammed and killed the other thread. Second, you think that we’ll read through your 15,000 word article that you copy and pasted, because somewhere 12,00 words into it, you made a point that is related to here.November 28, 2012 12:31 am at 12:31 am #909516JustHavingFunParticipant
I have tried to do what R’ Paysach Krohn suggested: I keep a list of the eligible (and interested) people I meet and keep them in mind to match them. I haven’t made a shidduch yet. For some reason, most of the people I know are older singles — bachelor men. I don’t have ladies for them because they inevitably want a gal who can still have babies! The idea of setting up Mr. 60 with Ms. 35 is unappealing, both to me and Ms. 35. What’s a potential shadchan to do?
@just my hapence- I think you’re on the right track. Friends should set up friends and people shouldn’t only rely upon the professionals.
@walton157 – I scrape and stack! and it didn’t make a whit of difference to my bashert. We use colored tablecloths, too. What a great shidduch!
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