Weddings during Corona

I don’t know statistics, but I do know that all the rabbonim paskened at the start of this crisis that weddings for which a date has already been set should not be postponed, and should be held with a bare minyan. (R Hershel Shachter has even been mattir holding the chupah without a minyan, and therefore without sheva brochos, but I don’t think most poskim agree with him.)

@Joseph all of the above
@millhouse, no one but him holds that way, the chosen, the two aidus and misadre kidusshin, that means 6 more people, not that hard to find 6 willing people

This reminds me of a story my rebbe told me once. My rebbe once had to attend a more modern type of simchah (can’t remember if it was a bar mitzvah or wedding), with lots of fancy lights and all of that. All of a sudden some (if I recall correctly) non-frum jew comes to him and says, “Rabbi, you Yeshiva guys don’t need the fancy lights and loud music. You guys have RUACH!”

The story truly is beautiful, but even if we scale down the weddings and all (which we should), lemaisah it’s important to note there’s still a mitvah to be sameiach the chosson and kallah, and we shouldn’t have these weddings be EXACTLY the same way after this blows over. I mean, I imagine even in the shtetl in Europe people were able to dance with their closest friends/family members!

Weddings in Gaza have increased 60% since March. When the coronavirus restrictions closed wedding halls, people took advantage of the opportunity to have smaller weddings at home and save money. People who had been planning to marry this summer in wedding halls moved their wedding date sooner, to do it now, so they could save money. Quite frankly, it is upsetting that the terrorists are going to have a big population boom.

Frum Yidden should look at the Simcha Initiative, think about how meaningful it would be to have a smaller, simpler simcha, and also not put your family in debt.

Common, the bare minimum without a minyan is only 3 men, since the mesader kidushin can be one of the eidim. (In fact in some communities the rov and the chazan were traditionally the ediim at all weddings.) So to make up a minyan you would need 7 more.

And indeed most poskim do hold that you can’t have a chupa without sheva brochos, and therefore you do need a minyan. But there must be some who agree with R Hershel Shachter that bish’as had’chak you can skip the sheva brochos and it’s not called כלה בלי ברכה. At the very least, most of his many talmidim probably accept his psak.

Common, R Schachter’s rebbe, R YB Soloveichik, was famous for saying that a rov has to make his own decisions and NOT simply follow his rebbe’s opinions. Of course it’s possible that R Schachter disagrees with that opinion :-), or that many of his talmidim do :-),

Joseph, no respect is due that statement. The opinions of the “larger” yeshivah world (במנין perhaps, but not בחכמה) are irrelevant.

The statement that immediately preceded it, of course. And the “larger yeshivah world” is no wiser than the MO yeshivos.

B”H my grandson was married in the CTL compound gardens last evening. Two days prior CT Governor Lamont raised the limits on outdoor ‘religious, spiritual and social gatherings’ to 150 people.
No dancing was possible due to the six foot social distancing requirements among non-immediate family members. We were able to take family photographs of the Chosson with his immediate family, the Kallah with hers and the Chosson/Kallah together after the Chupah.

Since the gathering limit was lifted with little notice only those family members and closest friends within driving distance attended.
There was no way to ramp up the catering order with no notice, so Zaidy raided his freezers and put the BBQ pits and smokers into high gear.
A good time was had by all……….Mazel Tov

@Joseph
actually they could have danced with each other, but when we made the arrangements the limit on attendees/staff was 49 people so we did not engage musicians or a DJ. One of the Kallah’s brother played his clarinet after the Bedecken and proceeding to the chuoah and a few tunes afterwards.

It was tough ti pull off the changes as the Governor’s relaxed Executive was issued on Shavuos. I read it in the local paper which is delivered to our front door each morning, but we could not call or text or email anyone not staying in the compound until Motzei Shabbos. It required an immediate yes or no response so we could go to the next person in the list.
I got to work on the additional food and beverages. A few of our close by non-Jewish neighbors volunteered to schlep and help set up and break down the chairs, tables, etc. and help serve the meal.
Because we have a vine covered 12×20 pergola the Chupah was in place and covered with flowers in bloom.

I think the family and close friends were so relieved to have such a simcha and be out of confinement that the dancing was not missed. So many of the relatives had not seen each other in months that much time was spent visiting, without the usual problem of not being able to hold a conversation because of the too loud music in a wedding hall

@Joseph Weddings in Boro Park are going on, but surreptitiously and very, very be’deieved, By way of an example, a wedding hall operator (3 halls) asked a cousin of mine for a list of the 50 men and 50 women they were planning on inviting (The musician, photographer, etc are included in that count) the hall makes the inquiries to see if those people are the type to cause “problems”, and the hall calls them (and you) about an hour before the wedding to tell you which of the 3 halls the wedding will be in. At a determined time, guests have 15 minutes to go into the hall, after which the gates are closed until the end of the wedding (8 oclock). The Kallah forgot something? too bad. Chosson forgot the ring? sorry, borrow from someone else. The priceworks out to about 280 a couple.

skripka: 50 men + 50 women from each of the two sides (for a total of 200) plus the band, photographer, caterer, waiters?

What’s New York City’s current legal limit, today, for maximum wedding size?