Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › What do you do in this common social situation
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May 17, 2013 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm #609350WIYMember
This happens pretty often. You are talking to someone you know, an acquaintance, and suddenly a friend shows up someone you are much closer to and starts chatting with you while the other person you were talking to is still standing there. So of course you turn to talk to your friend and say hi and what not and the other person usually just slips away. The question is are you supposed to excuse yourself to the first person you were talking to before he or she slips away? What do you usually do in such situations and what do you think is the appropriate thing to say. I really never know what to say because I don’t want to make the first person feel bad that I would rather speak to my friend but on the other hand I would rather speak to my friend especially if I am not having a particularly interesting or important conversation with the acquaintance. Chime in with your advice wisdom and wit for this situation.
May 17, 2013 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm #953205SaysMeMemberi’d say ”hello, hold on” to friend #2, then turn back to #1, finish up the topic, say nice to see you/thanks for the shmooze/etc, then excuse myself n say goodbye before launching into convo with #2.
If you’ve ever been friend #1, you know how awkward it could be, and that discomfort of not knowing if your convo is over and you should leave, or if it’ll continue in just a minute, or if you should be joining in the new convo or what!
May 17, 2013 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #953206TheGoqParticipantYour friend has no derech eretz if he doesn’t know your acquaintance he should wait until you are done talking to him before he goes over.
May 17, 2013 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #953207golferParticipantWIY, Do Not under any circumstances leave friend #1 standing there like a fool and then “slip away” (your words). At best you are being extremely rude; at worst (let’s say if friend #1 is very sensitive, or socially awkward to begin with, or has some reason to feel like an outsider) you could be touching on hamalbin p’nei chaveiro. Introduce friend #1 to friend #2 and make it a 3 way conversation if you can. The fact that you would rather speak to friend #2, whom you feel closer with, is irrelevant. If you are over 6 years old, as your writing skills seem to indicate, you are surely used to deferring your own satisfaction for the sake of behaving kindly and decently to others.
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