What Do You Remember For Longer: A Compliment or an Insult?
Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › What Do You Remember For Longer: A Compliment or an Insult?
- This topic has 18 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by peacefull.
October 23, 2013 12:52 pm at 12:52 pm #610975eclipseMember
I internalize insults more than compliments, but if the person
who compliments me means a lot to me, it cancels out a lot of insults.October 23, 2013 9:33 pm at 9:33 pm #988862WIYMember
I think people tend to take insults much more to heart because they have a negative self image about themselves and therefore believe the negative comment more than the compliment.October 23, 2013 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #988863Bookworm120Participant
If someone sincerely compliments me, I’ll remember it forever. If someone sincerely insults me, I’ll remember that forever too.
Just think about it. Do we always mean the compliments we throw out to people?October 23, 2013 11:14 pm at 11:14 pm #988864Little FroggieParticipant
I’m with Bookworm120. It depends on the intensity.
I was long ago once attacked, verbally. I don’t think I’ll ever, EVER forget it. For some reason compliments are not so forthright.. (hey, I wonder why)October 24, 2013 2:12 am at 2:12 am #988865supermeMember
There’s no canceling out with me… Insults keep a mark on my heart I remember them the same with compliments they mean a lot to me and stay with me also (obviously if it’s really true and the person means it..) but nothing cancels out anythingOctober 24, 2013 2:12 am at 2:12 am #988866live rightMember
I think Bookworm120 hit the nail on the head (maybe without meaning to). when someone lashes out with an insult, it is almost always meant sincerely. very rarely will someone insult in an insincere way (we call that teasing). and things that are said sincerely, imprint. in a big way.
Unfortunately, many compliments are forced or broad stretches of the truth (think: “you look beautiful” (take that dress off NOW!) or “This chicken is delicious (gag)”). and when something is not sincere, its noticeable. and it wont stay with you that long a time.October 24, 2013 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #988867Shopping613 🌠Participant
A sincere compliment that you can tell is sincere and that she meant it. And a stupid insult……thats the ones I remember for years….or something someone said i am…..October 24, 2013 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #988868Bookworm120Participant
Thanks, guys. 🙂October 24, 2013 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #988869keepitcomingMember
i agree with shopping.. if its someone i respect their compliments stay forever.. all kinds of insults from anyone are stuck alsoNovember 25, 2013 4:13 pm at 4:13 pm #988870👑RebYidd23Participant
What does a glass remember better, when it’s polished or when it’s broken?November 25, 2013 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #988871oomisParticipant
It depends on the insult and on the compliment. I am ashamed to say, I probably remember the insult longer, and am working on that less than sterling middah.Compliment or insult, my face turns red either way when I hear it.November 25, 2013 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #988872Torah613TorahParticipant
What do you believe more easily, a compliment or an insult?November 25, 2013 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #988873Trust 789Member
Handle an insult with acceptance. This may seem like a very weak response, but in many cases it is actually the strongest response of all. When someone insults us, we ought to consider three things: whether the insult is true, who it came from, and why. If the insult is true, the person it came from is reasonable, and his motive is worthy, then the insult is not an insult but a statement of fact and, moreover, one that is potentially very helpful to us. Thus it is usually the case that we do not or ought not take offense at our teacher, parent, or best friend.
In general, if I respect the person who insulted me, I ought to give thought to the insult and learn as much as I can from it. On the other hand, if I think that the person who insulted me is not worthy of my consideration, I have no reason to take offense at him, just as I have no reason to take offense at a naughty child or a barking dog.
Notice that, whatever the case, I have no reason to take offense.November 25, 2013 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #988874SayIDidIt™Participant
I once heard a speech from a Rabbi and he asked:
Why is there a mitzva to remember leaving Mitzrayim every day, twice; and the mitzva to remeber Amalek is only once a year?
If sommeone does something good for you, you remember it shortly and then forget about it. But if someone does something bad to you, you will always remember it. That is why we must remember the good Hashem did(/does) for us evry day but the bad thhat Amalek did, we don’t need to remind ourselves because we don’t forget.
He then went on to say how we have to apply this to our own lives…I will allow you to give yourself your own mussar schmozze…
SiDi™November 25, 2013 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #988875RedNails19Participant
a compliment 🙂November 25, 2013 8:04 pm at 8:04 pm #988876oomisParticipant
SIDI – great mussar shmooze.November 25, 2013 10:45 pm at 10:45 pm #988877peacefullMember
It’s all about, 1- ????? ??????? ?? ??? ?????? ??? – it’s also about ??? ??? ?????? ????????.November 26, 2013 5:51 am at 5:51 am #988878no longer need seminaryMember
compliments. I don’t care for insultsNovember 26, 2013 6:14 am at 6:14 am #988879peacefullMember
We find that when it comes to Hashem’s punishments he says it can be up to 4 generations however when it comes to his rewards Hashem says that it will be in existence for up to 1000, 2000 generations so rewards deserve up to 500 times more.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.