What to do at Night

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    me and my husband have run out of things to do at night in our shana rishona….he learns and wroks and i work as well, but when it hits 8PM we are going out of our minds…..

    any ideas? What did you do?


    1) Learn Torah together! Pick something neither of you ever learned that interests both of you.

    2) Explore NYC! There are a zillion places to do and see and many are inexpensive. Take a walk through some of the parks, ride the Staten Island Ferry, go to the top of the Empire State Building. And many great museums have evening hours, with great lectures on interesting topics.

    3) Visit different shuls together! There are late minyanim in Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, and the Bronx and most of the shuls have a kosher ezras nashim; take the subway or bus and enjoy each others company on the way and on the way home. In many cases there is a shiur before or after.

    4) If your rabbis permit it (mine does) enjoy a theatrical performance together! There is some great theater in NYC and is isn’t anything like the pagan rites Chazal complained about.

    Have a great time!!!


    Heresy here, but there’s nothing wrong with his learning at night during shana rishona. He can even learn in your home if that makes you all feel better.

    P.S. Mazal tov, and may your home be full of happiness and meaning!



    great ideas! thank you so much. the thing is he starts his day at 8am, so getting on a train at 8pm to go to the city (an hour drive from the 5 towns) is not fair to him.

    I have no problem with him learning but we want to do something TOGETHER, or learning together one night a week but what about the rest?????


    My husband and I used to play games like Master Mind or Chess. Enjoy your shana rishona!


    i meant to write that he starts his day at 5am…not 8am….mastermind sounds cute…


    In shana rishona?

    Anyway, if you post your location, I can post some specific activities.

    Did you do anything fun while dating? You can still “date.”


    tell him when he gets home you’re playing hide-n-seek, he should be looking in the apartment for you.

    You go to your parents, or friends house and he’ll be looking for you for hours!

    when you get home i promise you won’t be bored.


    we live in the five towns…..;) thanks sjs…


    Do you have local parks? Its really nice to bring a picnic and eat dinner in the park.

    Go for long walks. Or bike rides (if you do such things) or other physical activities.

    Learn another language together.

    I don’t know the Five Towns that well so I can’t be too detailed.

    Do puzzles together. 3D ones are super fun because you are literally building something.

    Take up a hobby that’s productive. Learn basic “how to” like redoing dressers and stuff. Go dumpster diving for practice materials.

    I love chess. Or card games.

    Take cooking lessons together. Or just pick elaborate meals and make them together.

    Keep your apartment spotless and marvel at the ability for it to stay clean. You’ll look back during your child filled years in awe and wonder LOL.


    Did you finish all your Thank You cards?


    Or did you finish picking out pictures for your wedding album??




    Puzzles are great to do. Also games like set and backgammon are good to play!


    Meals prep should take at least an hour, if you don’t live on take-out (or pick-ups from mom / mom-in-law).

    Did you get the Salad Time cookbook as a gift? If not, that’s a must. From checking the lettuce to making the dressing (from scratch, not from a bottle) should take up a good portion of your evening.

    Another good way to spend from 8-9 is visiting an aunt or uncle or mother’s cousin and letting them see your album.

    Also, be sure you don’t lose touch with your single friends! They may be reluctant to call you for fear of “bothering” you and spouse, and will be thrilled to spend an evening with you.

    Spouse is of course # 1, but you still need time to be yourself. Not every waking moment needs to be spent in lockstep. You need some occasional space, as does hubby. Believe me, he’ll be more than happy to give you a night away with your friends, so he can spend some time on his own as well.

    And like SJS said, enjoy it while it lasts.. the mess and fingerprints on the wall is going to be here before you know it!


    oo- wedding album pictures definitely a good idea- still gotta do mine………..


    there’s a really nice website called torah any time (torahanytime.com) my friend said that her sis-in-law and bro sit in front of the computer together and listen to a shiur, then discuss it and see how they can apply it to their lives.

    putting in background music for whatever ur doing always sets the mood. if i have any more ideas, i’ll let you know. oh, i agree with the walks and the picnic.


    Firstly, dont do the same thing every night. You will get bored of it VERY quickly.

    Some ideas: See if there is a Chesed organization in your area that needs helping stuffing envelopes or doing something like that. You are doing it together, gives you something to do, and doing Chesed all together.

    Make a serious attempt to set up some of your single friends. Not just when it comes up in conversation.

    Find or come up with a new common hobby.



    whatever you decide to do, remember that shana rishona is not always accomplished in a year. it can take two or three, and it does not always start in the first year. some only wake up 3, 4 5 or more years into their marriage . i mean wake up and decide they want to become one with their spouse(the purpose of shana rishona)and stop thinking so much about ‘ME’ .shana rishona starts when you start WORKING on your marriage.(for those who are not yet married being married is hard work al pi the torah- hard work at developing your midos) so….the faster you both decide that you are going to take care of each other like you take care of yourself, the faster you have laid the first brick in the foundation of your marriage. i wish you much hatzlacha in building a lovely home where the shechina can dwell between you both.


    Bored? Just enjoy the boredom and quiet time while it lasts….

    Oh and sleep and sleep and sleep.

    Now for an idea- my hub and I used to go brisk walking every night. Very healthy exercise.

    I still miss those walks. Now we need major babysitting arrangements if we wanna step out of the house!

    Baruch Hashem!

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