March 15, 2010 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #681956chesednameParticipant
The solution to our divorce rate is simple, realistic choson/kalla classes. after one year we should be going back for more advice now that we understand what they’re talking about. we all get engaged expecting one thing and getting something else!!
Talk to your parents about how the date is going at the end of the day they really do know you best, and no one wants the best for you like parents!!!!
if you’re a gal look at his father, chances are very good that your date will look like that when he’s older, same goes if you’re a guy look at your dad, for all the confused ppl of course you’re looking at her mother.
any sign of a temper on a date even “for good reason” run you have to realize he’s on his best behavior if he can’t hold back for that hour or 2, marriage will be no picnic.
realize this IS your basheret so once your married you see him losing his temper or anything like that don’t say oh i was warned about this, no at that point enjoy your new husband.
last but not least there is a famous and wonderful story of a girl that calls her father a few weeks after marriage and says dad i think i made a mistake, I’m coming home, the father says you are home and hangs up the phone!!!!!! luv itMarch 15, 2010 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #681957TumsMember
chesedname: Or vice versa.March 15, 2010 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #681958chesednameParticipant
Tums, i don’t get it, please explain.March 19, 2010 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #681959sm29Participant
What I look for is someone who is nice, respectful, observant, who’s both learning and working. Someone I can have a nice conversation with. What’s important is compatability, middos, mature and reliable. Someone who’ll treat their spouse like a partner. Also, Don’t look for perfection, Nobody’s perfect. Just look for important things, like their personality etcMarch 23, 2010 6:28 am at 6:28 am #681960popa_bar_abbaParticipant
I am uncomfortable with the emphasis being placed on trying to figure out the other’s secrets and shortcomings. I think many young people approach dating as if it is an adversarial contest, with me trying to misrepresent myself in the best way while trying to see through her subterfuge.
Do you really want to marry someone who is not accepting of your true self, your hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, and failings? Do you think the person you are dating wants to?
If you form a relationship with the person, you will find out most everything you need to know.
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